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Weekly Contest #298
She loved the crackling noise of the cellophane. She found the seam and carefully, she tore open the small bag holding her fortune cookie. The cookie was fresh, and it looked like it had spent almost a few seconds too long in the fortune cookie machine before being removed and shaped around the tiny piece of paper holding her fortune. She didn't put much credence in the fortunes, but they were fun to consider. Most of the time, the fortunes didn't foretell anything but offered suggestions. She liked to add 'in bed' or 'between the sheets' at...
Weekly Contest #297
As I grew older, my sleep became more fragmented. My cousin once told me this was totally and entirely normal."When we were cave people, there was first sleep, which lasted 3-5 hours. After first sleep, we would take a turn watching the cave. Then later, there was second sleep--when someone else watched over the cave and its resting inhabitants." It was a plausible theory, and I believed my cousin--he was a history teacher. Of course, it could have also been one of those fallacious arguments along the lines of: It's on the internet; therefor...
Weekly Contest #296
My yia yia told me I had to stop sucking my thumb. "It'll cause you to have bucked teeth. Trust me, kukla, dental work is not cheap. Save your mommy and daddy the expense."But you know what? There were other kids my age who were still sucking their thumbs. I didn't see how they looked like they had bucked teeth like a horse. The path of least resistance was to quit sucking my thumb, but I was really stumped about how to replace the thumb-sucking. Since I was already sticking fingers in my mouth, it would be a seamless transition to switch t...
We wandered with purpose. However, the purpose wasn't always noble, and it wasn't always physical wandering. My feet wandered. My mind wandered. But, they wandered with purpose. This evening, we wandered in the car. We went with friends to meet up with other friends for dinner. Three of the six of us for dinner were old friends with a zillion mutual connections. The remaining three of us would smile and give up on trying to be heard over the television and patron buzz of the restaurant.And then Old Jiminy was in my ear, "You won't be heard, ...
Weekly Contest #295
"Don, Don, hey, buddy. You in there?" I heard the voice, which seemed to be coming from under a thousand blankets. Maybe I was under the blankets. Opening my eyes, I found myself in a cocoon, trapped. "Sangio, I think I need help. I'm here, but I'm stuck in some kind of chamber. It's dark. I can't see anything, and my movement is limited," I called to my very best friend in the world, Sangio Pasta. "I've got you, buddy. Just give me a second. It looks like you might be tangled." "Tangled! I'm snared in the jaws of some dark presence. Sangio,...
Weekly Contest #294
Each night, I named them, counted them, called to them, reached for them. Each night I shuffled, because that's what I do now. I shuffle. I don't swan about or glide or stride. I shuffle back to my room. I share it with Sharon. I call her Sharon anyway, because we're sharing. I really don't care to know her name. It doesn't matter because she's a temporary presence in my life. She's going to join the stars, oh, probably pretty soon, I imagine. We all do eventually. I'll shuffle from my room when she becomes a part of the stars, and I'll find...
Weekly Contest #293
My sister and I drove from our small town to the big city. We had plans, big plans, for a night of jazz music, seeing our friends from the big city, and eating well and drinking not as well. Diana was 20, and I was 22. By default, she was going to be driving us home--she did not have a fake ID.We did happen to have a bunch of cash we had hoarded over the summer months to blow in spectacular fashion. There was a feeling between the two of us that everything having to do with this late afternoon, evening, and night would be gilt-edged and glin...
Weekly Contest #292
What THE hell! That stupid frog. "It's not easy being green." Really? Are you fucking kidding me? Everything around us is green. It's the freaking color of life, and he thinks it's not easy? Omigod. The audacity of that moron.To say I'm incensed would be an understatement. Try being a giant organism that really has no genus or species, is of indeterminate color, and clears a room or a bus on the regular. I would give my left nut to be a sweet, little, green frog. Everyone knows a frog or a toad when they see one. Granted, I cannot for the li...
Weekly Contest #291
Janny. Everybody called her pretty. And she was. She was every mama's vision of what her boy should bring home when he turned 18, and made the pronouncement, "Mama, Daddy. This is Janny. She is my intended."Janny turned every head everywhere she went. It wasn't because she was a sultry beauty. Goodness knew, those types of girls were a dime a dozen. Janny turned heads because she radiated. She effervesced. She fluoresced. She was a light, glowing in a way that never overpowered anyone else's light. Janny's spirit and her person were insepara...
"Dandy, you are going to worry a hole into that sweater if you don't leave it alone," Grandma said. "Dandy, no one is going to want to eat the food you prepare when they see your nails bitten to the quick," Grandma said. "Dandy, do not make that face. What are you going to do if your face freezes that way?" Grandma said. "Dandy, you are going to go blind if you do not eat those carrots. They are good for your eyesight," Grandma said. "Dandy, where are your house shoes? You will catch your death if you do not keep your feet warm," Grandma sai...
Weekly Contest #290
Emotions are funny, wild beasts that somehow find these holes, mostly in our heads, and they leak out everywhere. Why, one day, I swear, I had emotions that were coming out of my ears. It was all I could do to keep my eyes, nose, and mouth closed. I was wearing long pants, and I didn't think anything would leak out through the lower half of my body. It was risky, though. One time my belly button managed to express righteous anger. That hadn't felt good at all. For the most part, I focused on the leaky parts of me above my waist. Those were t...
Weekly Contest #289
"The room is unfamiliar. I don't know how I got here. I smell Steve Breck."Two truths and a lie. I knew the lie. We all knew the lie. Steve Breck had been dead for three years. There was no way anyone could smell Steve Breck. Steve was this soul who would invite everyone to dinner. He'd blindfold us, seat us next to someone, and then on the other side of us would be one of his household staff who would cut our food and feed it to us.We would never be seated near anyone we already knew. We were tasked with eating a delicious meal that we coul...
"My mother. She is the best. If she could still perform all the high kicks and jumps of her former cheerleader self, I'm sure she would not be a 50-something fighting old lady aches and pains like a bum hip, lumbago, or sciatica. She would probably have ACL and meniscus ailments, but not the other stuff." I flipped to the slide of my mother in the early 1980s, and could that girl jump. The next photo that floated onto the slide was my mother cheering in college. The photographer caught her mid-air, mid-jump, and I was consumed in this this e...
Weekly Contest #288
The flies were flying lower, and the deer flies were flying lower, too. And they were biting. The air was heavy with humidity portending some serious weather. I always loved it in the hours before a storm. The silver maple leaves rustled in the wind enough to see their silvery undersides. Once the silver made its appearance, it was only a matter of time before the thunder, lightning, maybe straight line winds, would kick into gear. The damned flies. Unlike mosquitoes, flies' bites didn't itch--they just hurt. We sold our house and moved in w...
"Have you ever done biofeedback before?" asked the medical assistant."No. But I have this trick that I do when I go to the doctor and they're taking my blood pressure," I answered."Really? What do you do?" she asked."I picture myself lying like a starfish on a king-sized mattress in a hotel room, and there's a sliding glass door that's open. There are sheer curtains, and a gentle breeze gives a light sway to them. The breeze coming in is warm, and I feel the breeze, but just barely. Outside, I hear the wind in the trees and the sounds of a g...
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