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Wear Clothes Or Werewolf? That Is The Question. Once upon a time in a huge metropolis called Danville, Va., there lived a man named Laurence. He had a crush on a beautiful girl named Belle who he had been dating for over 2 years. Then he, "popped-it." That's when she hugged him and said, "Yeah, man! I thought you'd never ask!" They set their wedding date for 8 months away because Laurence didn't want to risk any chance of giving her an opportunity to change her mind, which is something women are known for doing. They couldn't poss...
The Huge Dragon Which Terrorized Danville Once upon a time in a huge metropolis called Danville, Va., there lived a man who opened his own store which specialized strictly in pants. His name was Sir Pantsalot. Now, he was a really nice guy who went to a full-Gospel Pentecostal Church which is called New Hope. The pastor there was a really anointed man, Bishop David, named after the greatest Earthly king of all-time who is in the Bible. That king had only one major fault which was lusting after a woman while she was bathing named Beth...
Here's One Way To Deal With A, "Murphy's Day" Once upon a time in a huge metropolis called Danville, Va. there lived a 16 year-old girl named Sue. She was a really pretty girl with lots of friends, had a 4.0 grade average since junior high, was the president of The Booster Club, was voted Most Likely To Succeed in the whole school, was dating a really great guy named Rocky, had lots of girlfriends, had won the book contests every year since she'd been in high school and had her own car. She appeared to have everything a teenage girl c...
The Huge Dragon Which Terrorized Danville Once upon a time in a huge metropolis called Danville, Va., there lived a man named Laurence. He was a really nice guy who attended a Pentecostal Church which is called New Hope. The pastor there was a really anointed man named Bishop David, named after the greatest king of all-time who's in the Bible. He knew the Word quite well and studied it all the time, not just preparing for his messages, but because he loved God and wanted to make Him be happy. Quite often he preached on demons and how...
An Odd Spotted Elephant Who's Named Spot Once upon a time in a huge metropolis called Danville, Va. There lived a spotted elephant who’s named Spot. His parents named him that because when the stork brought him, (which is where all babies come from), it accidentally dropped him on the ground and he rolled in some meezols bacteria and so when he got to his mamma's place, he was covered in spots. Later as he grew up, the other elephants would tease him because it made them seem bigger, which is really important to all male elephants. They'd ye...
An Odd Spotted Elephant Who's Named Spot Once upon a time in a huge metropolis called Danville, Va. there lived a spotted elephant whose named Spot. His parents had named him that because when the stork brought him, (which is where all babies come from), it accidentally dropped him on the ground and he rolled in some meezols bacteria and so when he got to his mamma's, he was covered in spots. Later as he grew up, the other elephants would tease him because it made them seam bigger, which is really important to all male elephants. The...
The Stranger Who Had Predicting Powers Once upon a time in a huge metropolis called Danville, Va. there lived a 12 year-old girl named Sue. She was named after her daddy's sister who was part Apache Indian. She got a lot of kidding from the other children in school saying she should have been born into the, "Sioux" Indians. Some other students said she had a boys name according to Johnny Cash's song. When they laughed, she would laugh to make them think it didn't bother her, but when she got in her moms car to go home, she would brea...
An Old Acquaintance Brings Back Memories Once upon a time in a huge metropolis called Danville, Va., there lived a 38 year-old woman named Cherry. That was really the nickname her friends called her because she she was so sweet. All the guys would say, "If you were any sweeter, I would eat you!" That made her blush. She was the secretary at a huge Church. It's called Dan River Pentecostal Holiness Church. She loved her job.When she attended her 20th college reunion, she didn't recognize many of the people there, but they all recognized ...
Dr. Brains's And His Awesome Time Machine Once upon a time in a huge metropolis called Danville, Va. there lived a mad scientist named Dr. Brains. The reason he was mad is that he was constantly trying to come up with cures for different ailments such as cancer, head-injuries and muscle diseases. After going through a lot of trial and error, which was all errors, at long last he succeeded at creating some kind of machine which was able to travel both forward and backward through time. That took an awful lot of clock-rearranging and stuff, bu...
Here's A Super Tale Of A, "Superman" Once upon a time in a huge metropolis called Danville, Va. there lived a mild-mannered newspaper reporter named Clerk Can't. Actually, that was what everybody in the mail room called him because none of his stories were interesting to anybody but him. The other reporters would write about stories of interest which affected the people of Danville. Yet Clerk was always writing ridiculous stories that he thought would interest the readers, but they did not. He was constantly being fussed at by his bos...
Here's How A, "Mad" Doctor Got Happier Once upon a time in a huge metropolis called Danville, Va. there lived a mad scientist named Dr. Derange. The reason he had originally gotten into medical school since he wanted to be a pediatrision. That was because he liked to, "major-in-minors." His problem was the only, "minors" he was good at working with were back during the times he would panhandle in the mines. That's where he learned the best way to handle a pan and say, "Now, that pan is, 'mine.' " Yet later he learned how to put han...
Werewolf Or Wear Clothes Is A Decision Once upon a time in a huge metropolis called Danville, Va. there lived a young man named Laurence who had a crush on a cute girl named Belle. Actually, the first time that happened was in the Walmart parking lot. He accidentally, "crushed" her with his shopping cart against the canned vegetables causing the whole shelf to come crashing down on her, breaking her right k and right medditarcel.Since that relationship didn't start off on the right, "foot," literally, Laurence wanted to start off on h...
Weekly Contest #314
How A Dachshund Saved The Day For The Pack Once upon a time in a huge metropolis called Danville, Va., there lived a cute, little dachshund puppy who was named Veinorshnytzel. That means hot-dog in German because they originated in Germany, but her family called her Veiner for short. Besides that, she was shaped like a hot-dog. That means half a dog high, a dog-and-a-half long. Her life was quite difficult because all the other dogs were constenly picking on her saying lots of hateful lines such as, "I'm gonna put you in a bun!" "Ther...
Weekly Contest #313
Are You There, God? If So, Please Say Something! Once upon a time in a huge metropolis called Danville, Va., there lived a really nice person named Sam. With long hair and a high-pitched voice, but liking cars and cowboys, people didn’t know if it was a guy or a girl. Life was especially hard for Sam because of all the talents God had given. Being really athletic, could beat most of the guys in almost any race. On the other hand, one of the favorite past-times was house-keeping and cooking. Yet watching cheerleaders do their tumblin...
Weekly Contest #312
The Horse Who Brought Remorse By Force, Of Course Once upon a time in a huge metropolis called Danville, Va., there lived a mad scientist named Dr. Paine. Actually, he had a really hard time getting people to come see him for some odd reason. The worst part about it was that he had so many doctors in his family tree. Yet for whatever reason, that tree, "wooden" work for him. His sister was a farmer named Dr. Pepper. His aunt was a heart surgain named Dr. Love. His neece was a horticulturalist named Dr. Pepper. His aunt was a padi...
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