Moments in Life

1964

I felt every single emotion that day and my stomach was in knots. Mama said it was normal to feel a brick of emotions because I was committing to an important decision. That made sense, but I still left the room to get some air. I didn’t go far because I didn’t want to run into anyone so I headed to the roof of the hotel and stared at the town below. The wind brushed against my neck and shivers ran down my spine. Although the sky was blue I still hoped it didn’t rain because where there’s wind usually rain follows.

2025

My stomach wanted to rip itself out. I was curled in a ball on the floor of my room and rocked back and forth to try and calm my stomach taking deep breathes. I forced myself up to a kneeling position and slowly made my way to the balcony I always found it to be a bit too much, but they wanted the best for their girl. I flung the door open and closed my eyes allowing the cool breeze to dry my sweat covered body.

1964

I saw my love waiting at the end of the aisle and my heart calmed. His smile shined brightly as he watched me walk towards him. Tears streamed down his face and it burst my own water sprouts. The fear I felt earlier melted away as I stared into his deep soulful eyes and said those two words. I felt a sensation of joy and hope.

2025

I replayed memories I had on the balcony. The summers I pretended to be a princess stuck in the tower kidnapped by the ogre. My brother was forced to play the ogre while my best friend Tina played the knight who fought the ogre to save me. My dad even made a ladder that attached to my balcony with the understanding that he took it down every night. So sneaking out in my teen years was difficult, but not impossible. “Babe?” I heard my love’s voice. “Give me a few more minutes. I still need time.” The bedroom door quietly shut.

1965

My love wiped sweat off my forehead and fought his way to the back room stating he wasn’t going to leave my side because he’d been there from the beginning. All I could do in that moment was smile as the pain ripped through my body. How was this normal? This is what we dream of and yet it’s so painful I didn’t think I’d make it through. He began to softly sing the song my mother sang to me as a girl when I was sick or having a hard day. It soothed my soul and allowed me release from the pain for a few brief moments and took me back to being wrapped in lavender.

2025

I met my love the summer before my junior year of high school. They had just moved in across the street. The heat was so strong that day that the only thing my best friend and I could do was sit in the shade of my balcony and drink lemonade while listening to music. The U-Haul pulled up to the curb in front of the empty house and we sat up and leaned on the stone balcony as if leaning forward allowed us to see better. A mini van pulled up next in the driveway. Out stepped three people but my attention was stolen by the most beautiful human I had ever seen in my life. My heart stopped and my body buzzed.

1965

The day I met my love was the day I knew my life would be different. I wasn’t sure how, but this handsome human had me at hello. My mother begged me to go out with friends because I had been stuck in the house studying and I was still young and needed to have fun. I reluctantly agreed and the girls and I got pretty and went to this spot with a dance floor and delicious food. I made the decision I wasn’t going to dance that night because one of us had to guard the table, but my love walked up and smiled at me, and I swear I couldn’t think for the rest of the night. He even had one of his friends watch the table for us as we all graced the dance floor. Now he was sitting by my side supporting me through one of the hardest moments of my life.

2025

The day my love introduced themselves to me was kind of embarrassing. I was helping my mother weed her garden as we did most Saturday mornings. It was our thing as weird as it sounds, but that was our time to really catch up on life and have talks. Like the birds and bees which was very uncomfortable for ten year old me. And the talk that brought tears to my eyes made my body tremble with nerves. She assured me I was normal and she loved me with every cell in her body.

When my love walked up and introduced themselves and I froze. Not like the metaphor froze but I literally froze and my mom had to introduce me. I just knew they’d never speak to me again. It was like my brain shut down at the sound of their voice. The next day, they came over to ask if I wanted to join them on a walk around the neighborhood because they wanted to get familiar with it before school started. We walked every day that summer.

1965

Minutes ticked by like hours and hours ticked by like days. My whole body was covered in sweat and the pain wasn’t easing, and we were told it still wasn’t time. I may not have been ready physically, but mentally I was prepared to be done. Prepared to see what the future held, well more of an impatience than anything. Many things rushed through my mind as the pain radiated through my body getting more frequent as time went on. Our first date, when he took us to a picture show and we had ice cream afterwards. I had never had such a full conversation with anyone before and I had been on a few dates. Now it was time to push into our new chapter.

2025

I knew my moments of solace were coming to an end and I had to return to the people below. Slowly I walked back into my room and shut the balcony door. Taking deep breaths I walked to the bedroom door and opened it to find my love sitting on the floor beside the door. I smiled down at that beautiful face I fell in love with from my balcony. Standing, they took my hand and led me down the stairs to the humming vehicle.

1964

I was so exhausted and all I wanted to do was sleep. The nurse walked over smiling, holding the bundle in her arms and gestured for me to open mine. When she placed her in arms, time stopped as I looked down at that tiny face. I had never loved anything or anyone as much as I did in that moment as she yawned, eyes still closed. “Hello, Sandra Mary Charles, welcome to the world,” My love said as tears rolled down his face.

2025

Tears fell and they wouldn’t stop. I hated being emotional in front of people, but my heart cracked and a piece was now missing. I held the hands of the two people who knew and understood my pain more than I could express it. It still didn’t feel real reading: “Here lies Sandra Mary Darlington, loving wife, daughter, and mother.” I squeezed my father’s hand and he squeezed back. Maybe I’ll find a way for life to go on.