INSANITY

A man walked out from an office building bending his head through the doorway. Gripping his briefcase in his hands, a staff member walked past him and he waved goodbye with a politie smile. He headed towards his gray Nissan which had a few scrapes, and debris stains on the windshield. When he hopped in he listened half-heartedly to the radio which played old school blues, the man bopped his shoulder in the wackiest moves as he attempted to match the groove of the saxophone. After a while he arrived home taking in the aroma of the fresh sunflower sitting on the kitchen table. He kicked off his shoes and strolled into his bedroom doing a little happy dance. Before passing a picture of his mommy on the wall just before his room, he did a silly slide back and blew kisses to his her. He thought he should check up on her, to tell her how everything was going good for him. In an hour he would be attending a networking event, something he did a couple times throughout the month as it helped his talent agency grow. After a quick shower, the man opted for a teal button down, unpaired with ginger colored capri pants. Making an impression wasn't his top priority, as he figured his effective communication skills were enough to gather contacts.

When the man arrived at the event he stood close to the sidelines, spotting out business officials, industry nobles, pretty much anyone who looked of higher status that he could get in contact with. It was important to be well connected in the entertainment space, as it was common for people to forget you and move on to the next. The man was pleased with the success he has acquired so far from his company, but yearned for more. In LA, operating as the sole owner of an agency was like a rat race for the last crumb, which to any deprived creature was worth more than anything else. And that crumb was called visibility.

As the event was coming to a close, the man had already walked away with almost 20 contacts, feeling proud of how the night came about. As he challenged himself for one more contact, his eyes caught a glimpse of a familiar man. He looked twice, glancing away as to not make it appear as if he was staring. The subject was brown skin, slim but fit. He stood with poise but it was obvious he wasn't used to conversing for long amounts of time. The man felt his body tense like he was preparing to brace himself for something, but didn't know what. The subject looked familiar, of someone he rather despised and had chosen to forget. It was impossible as this familiar face of someone else has exited both his life and the living, but could still feel the same body language emanating from the subject just a few feet away. To shake off this feeling the man decided to abort his mission for one last contact and leave the event calling it a night. As he walked in the opposite direction, his colleague who had just arrived walked up to him.

“Man, I’m telling you taking Uber does not save you any time. What a waste.”

“I’m heading out, catch you later,” the man said, putting his champagne glass down on the table beside him.

“Wait before you go, I want you to meet this dude. My friend tells me all about him and his great work!” the colleague pulled the man in the direction of the subject he was trying to avoid. He cursed in his head, not directly refusing but taking heavy steps forward making it harder for his colleague to pull him. He was a businessman, he couldn't show discontent to a potential client, he thought to himself.

“Hey my man! Nice to finally meet you. I’m Jake's partner at KP Media,” his colleague announced.

“Oh what's goin’ on? Where's Jake?” the subject asked.

“The usual, it’s movie night with his girl,” the colleague winked, making the crowd that was with the subject laugh and make a chorus of oohs.

“Have we met before? You look familiar,” The man asked as he squinted his eyes, now gaining a clearer view of the subject's face. He didn't know what he would have done or said if the subject recalled the name of the person he knew didn't exist, or so that's what he had hoped for all these years. He knew he had heard correctly, when he was told that the person who had caused him hell was gone for good. In an odd way, it seemed that the subject in front of him possessed the same voice as his foe, but of a softer tone and a moody stance.

“I don't think so, but I’m Finn, nice to meet you.” Finn put his hand out to shake the man's hand.

“Claine right here, is the guy you need for all your promotional needs. Maybe not for you Finn, but if anyone knows someone who does, hit him up,” the colleague passed out Claines business cards, making Claine give him a look on how he’d gotten a hold of them.

All of Claines' previous thoughts vanished as he smiled and returned Finn's gesture. He knew his imagination couldn't have gone to that extremity, and hoped for a new connection with Finn.

When he left, he headed home anticipating the conversation he was about to have with his mommy. He slouched down onto his living room couch, searching for her number, but stopped as a news break message appeared on his phone. He clicked the headline which read,

‘Up-and-coming actor Finn Debrari is set to star the main lead in the new Sky Devil series.’

His brow furrowed angrily as he gripped his phone firmly enough to shatter it into pieces, which felt like his heart at that moment. He wondered why so much outrage was consuming his body, why his palms were getting sweaty and his vision becoming more and more obscured. This is good news, but the reaction that was masked on his face was far from pleased. The person he had connected with just a few moments ago, had been affiliated with the family he hoped to stay away from. An actor who was part of an agency who clearly had more connections than his, to have gotten such a grand role. He could no longer be a confidant. Taking a second look at the news and gritting his teeth when he saw the ‘Sky Devil Series’, Finn had gotten the role he had worked for months on for his clients to receive. His heart turned from living to stone. He couldn't call his mommy in this state, he might just say something wrong to worry her.

“Why is this happening… why won’t it stop…” The man strained to say as he threw his arms over his face and fought to breathe. I'm not that person anymore, I'm different. This has to end! He thought. He weeped to himself . “I can't– I won’t live like this!”

He wanted this feeling of exhaustion, of superiority, of disappointment to wash away, just as memories of his past did. Or so he thought… but now a wave that has been suppressed has come to shore and everyone was its target.

In an effort to get rid of the phone, the man throws it from his hands and sends it crashing into the wall. Not giving a single thought about anything, his mind drew a blank. He fought the urge to do something, something villainous. This was not in his character to be– to think this way. He made a name for himself, he had others who looked up to him. But why should he care, they didn't know his struggles, the torment he faced to be where he is now. Mental and physical hurdles he had to conquer to help everyone, but who really was there for him?

The man unbuttoned his shirt, tugged at his collar and grabbed a bottle of chardonnay chugging it. He didn't want to be conscious while he made any decisions. It just might inflict more insanity into his brain which couldn't take another single thought. He stumbled into his room, grabbed the latest magazines that had been delivered this morning and flicked through them, eye on only one man, that looked familiar to the one who seemed to torment his life.

“I'm sick of it, that damn Debrari Family...” he said with a pained expression plastered on his face.

He pulled any articles with the young actor's face on it and plastered it on his wall. Each side of the wall was now filled with pictures and maps. It was a storyboard of madness. He sat for an incredibly unhealthy amount of hours…days, researching mischievously for a plan that could rid him of despair, while also filling him with content being unseen, unsuspected–.

“They need to feel how I felt…” the man mouthed, finishing his second bottle of whiskey.

Days went by, the house phone rang constantly, calls going ignored. He sat in the same spot from sundown until sunrise. Leaving no room for distractions, he had meals sent to his home and purchased black-out curtains for his abruptly odd hiatus. Turning his room into a dark lair, sculpting his plan to cause the ultimate downfall. Darts were thrown constantly at the actors face, each slam that indented the picture was the stabs at his heart over the years, what he faced deep down has resurfaced and this time he was determined to return the favor.

On the 14th day the dart slammed into a picture written in red bold letters circled ‘FAN BASE’

He smiled, knowing no one would see it coming. The light peering in from his curtain windows shined on his lips, revealing a smirk, his teeth almost creeping through wanting to deepen the smile. He was ready.