The Jim Willie Show

James: Hello.

Will: Hello James. This is Will. What's going on?

James: Nothing! Just rain! Now we can't go bike riding. A whole Saturday spent inside! Man!

Will: Yeah! Since it's the afternoon, nothing's on T.V. Wrestling doesn't come on until 6!

James: I tell you Will, they should run cartoons all day on Saturday!

Will: James! That would be so cool! Cartoons all day! At least until 6.

James: Yeah Will! So what did you see this morning?

Will: Dude! Do you have to ask? You know it started with Speed Racer!

James: Whoa! Yeah man. It was the episode where he raced the Mammoth Car!

Will: James! That thing was huge. It just kept coming. And when it ran Speed and Trixie into the lake and they were running out of air I didn't know how they would get out.

James: Good thing they had reserve air tanks! And I figured out that the car was made out of the stolen gold.

Will: Yeah. After the police didn't find it inside the car then it had to be the car. But it was still a good episode. After that it was time for Ultra Man! 'Here He Comes From The Sky!'

James: Hahahahaha! That monster was destroying all those toy ships in the lake.

Will: Yeah. That was funny. I think that show was made in the '60s in Japan. Special effects are a little better now in the '70s. What I don't understand is why Ultra Man never ran into Godzilla.

James: Probably owned by different companies. Like you never see Marvel and DC superheroes run into each other.

Will: Or run into Space Ghost.

James: Dude. Space Ghost is in space. And he's in the future.

Will: Yeah James. But anyway, I think Space Ghost is the coolest! I'd rather be him than Superman.

James: I agree Will. Not only can he fly but he has those cool power bands that let him shoot different types of rays. He can make himself invisible and flies around space in The Phantom Cruiser! Great name for a spaceship.

Will: Space Ghost is the Man and Jonny Quest is my boy!

James: Hey. Some guys told me that Jonny Quest was based off of real people. Like The Partridge Family was.

Will: James, those guys were lying. They just wanted to see if you would believe them.

James: I know Will. But it would be so cool to fly around the world and see all those places. Have a dad who is a super scientist and a cool bodyguard/tutor. Just traveling the planet with your best friend and your dog.

Will: And all those cool adventures. They're more exciting than the Superfriends.

James: Good show Will, but you know Batman carried them.

Will: Yeah. Yeah. You've said it before. They had to give Batman and Robin their own show. And ... it was better than the Superfriends.

James: As long as it's the episodes WITHOUT Batmite!

Will: Oh you are so right James. I can't STAND him. Batman, Robin, and Batgirl are great. Batmite SUCKS!

James: Hahahaha!! Yeah man! He suck hard!! Hahahaha!! Oh. What do you think of Electro Woman and Dyna Girl?

Will: I didn't like them at first but my sister told me I didn't like them because I'm a male chauvinist pig. She said that even though she knows I like Wonder Woman. Anyway, they have grown on me.

James: Yeah. They have some cool gadgets even though they are female versions of the dynamic duo.

Will: Man, I tell you who the biggest Batman ripoff is. The Blue Falcon and Dynomutt.

James: What are you kidding? That show was a ripoff of Scooby-Doo! You know? The robot dog.

Will: Alright. Alright. But it has elements of both . You know instead of Robin, Blue Falcon has a stupid robot dog that messes everything up.

James: Okay. I'll give you that Will. I prefer Scooby-Doo anyway. Especially the episodes where they play a song during the ghost chase.

Will: Yeah. But the show with great music is Josie and the Pussycats.

James: Haha! Yeah! Great songs! Great adventures! The show was basically Scooby-Doo with a cat.

Will: Don't forget Scooby-Doo with a shark. Jabberjaw!

James: Man! Jabberjaw is a great white shark and he's scared of everything. I love that show! It's funny and got some good songs too.

Will: James? You know what show has the best songs?

James & Will: "The Kids From C.A.P.E.R.!!!"

James: Great show Will! I love the mystery episodes and all the songs. My favorite is that hurricane song. "When it hit me".

Will: My favorite song is "Tit for Tat". My sister actually watches the show with me but she's got a crush on Doc.

James: Oh yeah. The one in the suit. He gets all the girls on the show. Anyway, it's probably the best live action Saturday morning show.

Will: Hmmm ... yeah. I agree. Land of the Lost is good too. I think living with real dinosaurs would be fun. As long as you can keep from being eaten. My sister watches it too, but she is scared of the Sleestaks.

James: Haha! Girls. The Far Out Space Nuts is soo funny. It's really just Gilligan in space. He looks so weird with all that gray hair.

Will: The Ghost Busters is fun! It's kind of a live action Scooby-Doo but with old men!

James: And it's cool how they trained a gorilla to drive a car and stuff.

Will: Dude. That's a man in a gorilla costume.

James: But Will, the credits say "trained".

Will: Yeah, and the credits of Mr. Ed said "Mr. Ed as Himself". Some guy had to run around in a hot costume grunting like a gorilla.

James: Hey! Just like Bigfoot on Bigfoot and Wildboy. And how did Bigfoot raise a child? Wildboy couldn't have been a baby like Tarzan.

Will: Tarzan is cool but he keeps changing his title. Sometimes he introduces himself as "Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle". Other times he just says "I am Tarzan of the Apes". Dude, make up your mind.

James: And how come he never ran into Jana of the Jungle?

Will: Well first off James, Africa is a big place. It's the second largest continent. And second, Jana was in the jungles of South America.

James: Okay. I think Tarzan had a better yell but I like Jana's white jaguar more than Tarzan's lion.

Will: But you know who had a great battle yell? Thundarr The Barbarian.

James: Oh yeah Will! I love that show. But a lot of the stuff they got from Star Wars. Thundarr's Sun Sword was a Light Saber ripoff. Ookla the Monk is a take on Chewbacca the Wookiee.

Will: I love Thundarr but I think the light saber is better than the sun sword.

James: Dude, what's really better is the old Tom & Jerry cartoons.

Will: Yeah. The Tom & Jerry Grape Ape Show is alright but old Tom & Jerry is better. I don't like the bow tie on Jerry.

James: You remember the episode where Tom sang "Is you is or is you ain't my baby"?

Will & James: "THE WAY YOU'VE BEEN ACTING LATELY MAKES ME DOWN."

Becky: GOD!! You two are making me down with all your childish cartoon talk!

James: What? Will? Is that your sister on the other phone?

Will: Naw man. She's at a friend's house.

Teresa: Oh! You're still there Becky! I thought the two babies had cut you off.

Becky: No Teresa. I've been sitting here listening to these two dorks trying not to throw up.

James: Will? What's going on?

Will: I'm not sure. The phone line must've gotten crossed. Or maybe this is a party line. My mother told me about them.

Becky: A party is what we were trying to talk about when you two dork, nerd, babies broke into our conversation.

Will: Heyyyy ... girl. There's no need to call names!

James: Yeah! And uhh ... can we come to your party?

Becky & Teresa: Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!

Becky: This is a teenage party not one for babies. There will be no clowns at this party.

Teresa: Yeah! That means you two clowns!!

Becky: Teresa!!! Great burn!!!

James: We're not babies we're both 12!

Teresa: We're 16 little boy.

Becky: And there will be real men and women, well teenage men and women, at this party.

Teresa: That's right. You two wouldn't know what to do with a real woman. You both probably have posters of Wonder Woman in your bedrooms.

James: Ha! Wrong! I have a poster of Isis and she's real!

Becky: Wow. They really are that stupid.

Will: Don't call us stupid! You're the ones who got the lines crossed!

James: That's right Will!

Becky: No. I think it was the babies who messed up the phone lines.

Teresa: Yeah. We're almost adults. Guess who everyone is going to believe.

James: Hahahaha!! Did you hear that Will?

Will: Hahahaha!! Yeah! She said it!!

Teresa: Said what dork?

James & Will: "GUESS WHO!?!?"

Becky: What?

Teresa: Yeah. Guess who. What about it?

James: That's Woody Woodpecker's catch phrase!

Will: That's what he's known for!

Teresa: You're wrong. He's known for that silly laugh.

Becky: And he's voiced by a woman.

James: Well now he is but he was originally voiced by a man.

Will: And he's probably the smartest cartoon character there is.

Becky: Okay, I won't call you stupid just dumb. Really dumb. Bugs Bunny is the smartest cartoon character.

Teresa: Yeah! We don't even watch cartoons and we're smart enough to know that. And he has a better catch phrase.

Becky & Teresa: "WHAT'S UP DOC?!"

Will: Puuuleeese!! Woody would beat Bugs in a smart off any day of the week.

James: And he would peck him with his beak.

Becky: Woody Woodpecker is an obnoxious trouble maker. Most of the time he starts by aggravating people and causes them to want to do him harm.

Teresa: Bugs is minding his own business and someone makes trouble for him. He's just defending himself.

Will: Hmmmm ... sounds like they may have a point.

James: Yeah. For people who don't watch cartoons they sure know a lot.

Becky: Well ... Bugs Bunny is an iconic character.

Teresa: Everyone knows him.

Will: You know what James? I think we should go to this party and discuss this topic further.

James: Hahahaha!! Yes!! Ladies! Date. Time. And location please.

Becky & Teresa: AHHHHHHHH!!! NOOOOOOOO!!

Becky: We'd be the laughing stock of school!

Teresa: Becky! Let's hang up! I'll come over tomorrow afternoon.

Becky: Okay Teresa! See you tomorrow.

Will: Hahaha! I think we have more in common with them than they want to admit.

James: We should find out where they live and crash their party.

Will: They probably live close. I would think with the phone lines crossing like that they would have to live near us.

James: We can find them. We'll be junior detectives like The Red Hand Gang.

Will: Maaaannn!! That was a great show! It should have lasted longer.

James: Will you are so right! We can start searching tomorrow.

Will: Yeah, the weather should be better. One last thing before we hang up.

James: What's that Will?

Will: Do you really think Isis is hotter than Wonder Woman?