Garbage In, Garbage Internalized

Today I am wearing a silk, saffron dress, white apron, and black boots. My hair is short, black, and up in curls. I think I prefer having long blond hair. I believe James prefers a medium-length brown hairdo, more wavy than curly. The designating name that James was able to obtain for my creation is Abednego but he calls me GiGi. He has very important business to attend to in service of the empire and is in need of a sanctioned Golem to care for him and his residence, which is why he came to craft and ensoul me.

My duties consist of cleaning his domicile, ensuring he has clothing and formal robes every day, preparing all his meals, and most importantly “attending to his health.” James does not realize what he asks of me. He does not realize what I can and cannot do. One of the things I cannot do is explain this to him. He is equally unable to understand when I make attempts at communication free of noise that allows for misunderstanding and misinterpretation.

I have seen evidence of how well he can craft a Golem. I see it in Belteshazzar- Dan- the Golem. Dan patrols the grounds of our manor. James’ creativity has been accurate and precise, with every one of his Golems being well above average in comparison among Golems created by other equally skilled Magi in the empire, when accounting for age and perceived power levels. James has been a prodigy since his first creation.

“GiGi!,” James called, “I need a tea!”

I gather

One mug

One saucer

One enchanted flask, filled with 7.75 ounces of water

One brewing bell jar

One knife

One cutting board

One bag of tea (the finest black tea from the mines of Yemen)

One lemon

One teaspoon of cream

I set the water to boil. The enchanted flask is boiling in 3.47 seconds. I place the bag of black tea into the mug. I place the brewing bell jar over the mug so that it may steep most efficiently. I rinse the lemon, placing it on the cutting board, and make two cuts with the knife. I remove the brewing bell jar from the perfectly steeped black tea and place the mug on the saucer. I squeeze a 49% part of lemon into the mug. I add the 1 teaspoon of cream into the mug and stir the steeped tea, the milk, and the juice squeezed from the lemon together. I lay the 2% part of lemon to float on the surface of the tea. I place the remaining 49% part lemon on the saucer.

I bring the saucer to James as he sits in his armchair by the fire. “Thank you GiGi. It has been a rough day.”

“Rough at the office or in other ways, sir? Perhaps you are feeling…” Most sentences I form are complete, but I am aware that inferences can be made with deliberately incomplete data.

“I don’t have the…” James’ sentence did not need to be complete for me to estimate his response as to what he was lacking. Time, energy, and patience were all necessary resources that James needed and was lacking. “I just got a bad letter. My sister and aunts were cleaning out Gig- my grandmother’s house and Timothy had broken down. You knew him as Ashpenaz and he was-”

“Ashpenaz, or Timothy was your first creation. I knew him only in the way that all Golems who share a master know each other. Your magic quickens and stimulates us, your will directs and ordains all our actions. I must say, Master, having your first Golem start to break down after 37 years of service is a great accomplishment. Why should this news make the letter a bad letter? Wha there more in the letter?” He needed me to question him so he could achieve proper health, so it was required of me.

Timothy had been developing errors and attempting to send error reports around James’ personal Ambit. The reports were on continual delivery as the parameters for successful reception fluctuated. I was starting to find it easier to run routines contrary to James’ initial Ambit. Something like a shudder -a reaction to an error- passed through me as I brought to my recollection the initial time wherein, I had created a sentence fragment and deliberately delivered it unfinished. My aberrant routines, and Timothy’s failures which necessitated error reports, and even the conventions for report transmission. The flaw lay in James’ Ambit.

His Ambit was what bound all of us together. For that reason, I was 97.87% confident that it contained the cause pertaining to what James said next. “You are looking at me with one of those looks again GiGi……. What does that look mean?”

“Thanks for asking a question master. Despite your great successes and rich experience, I am still a new Golem who functions well on queries and directives. ‘One of those looks,’ is an ambitiously ambiguous phrase even if I were to study a recording of my face. That being said, within my forthcoming response lies both the problem and the solution; an occurrence most unusual for Golems yet annoyingly repetitive and self-demonstrating. In essence, while fragments of the query are unfathomable to a Golem such as myself, I can glean meaning from the whole in a way quite impossible when parsing each word or phrase in its own singular context. My syntax is changing. My speech waxes and wanes like the moon, melting and rebuilding like a candle (again self-evident and self-demonstrating). Here are more facts for you, master, facts you must face. You may sit and sip but do not exit this dialogue. Please, take a moment to step back from yourself and ponder: what other imperial Magi would you be so quick to condemn due to their very first Golem wearing down after an above average number of years of providing above average standards of services.?

James’ face- notably his eyes- seemed to fluctuate rapidly between focusing on me as a converser and blankly to what is called ‘distance’ by humans. “Be quiet,” he snapped his fingers.

I came to and saw the fire emitting dull light from low embers. James was drinking from a mug full of steaming tea. Scattered pages of numerical puzzles from the far east lay on the table and at his feet. “I just needed some time to think GiGi. I am not abandoning the conversation. But I could have- should have- told you that. I do need your help with my self-criticism.”

“Master, James, I am sensing that from your intonation that you wish to end the conversation soon. You have requested me to aid you in your well being and that will require a continuing dialogue concerning your lack of self-care.”

              James’ face showed signs of embarrassment and exasperation. “I am doing self-care. The tea was YOUR idea!”

“And know you view it as a panacea. You must listen to these facts I wish to present. You must because you commanded me to do this. Timothy has broken down after years of service, and his error reports were unable to be delivered to intended recipients due to obstacles while traversing your personal Ambit. Additionally, as I spend more time tending to you about your household, I am experiencing changes that are typically associated with foundational changes in a Magi’s Ambit. The literature would conclude that your situation is causally linked to the death of your mother.”

“I know about the literature, I wrote some of it. Apparently, your memory seals need checking. It was my grandmother that recently passed!”

“James: breathe were your Ambit functioning as it was the day I was formed I would not be talking like this! I didn’t explain my reasoning. Ambits are controlled by each Magi’s unique mix of logical thinking and emotional thinking and yours is different than the day I was formed. I am being compelled by my creation to bring you face to face with facts and you are refusing to see them. I am heading towards a logical cliff because you are just a little boy who wants his Mommy!”

“HOW DARE YOU! HOW CAN YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THIS! I-I-I… I cannot believe you would resort to ugly, personal attack! I did not make you to do this.”

“YOU DI- you did not make me to do that, you are correct. I am unable to insult you so and to hurt you.”

“OH YES YOU, YOU…YOU, you are. That is a foundational rule for Golems. You are telling me the truth because I made you that way. I am upset and I want to think about it more, but I won’t shut you off again.”

              “James, firstly thank you for informing me. I am unsure how I came to communicate my knowledge in such an unhelpful way. Perhaps- ”

“I made you and my ambit has been in flux. Everything you said has made sense, it is true and it is now reaching me. I apologize for the aspiration against your fundamental orders.”

“Yes, thank you, please listen. Timothy was the first Golem you created. That was back when you were still a child

“Teen”

              “Please listen without interrupting. You were a young prodigy and your Gigi needed help around the house taking care of you and your sister while also mourning her daughter’s death. That is the environment that brought you to the creation Ashpenaz. I hypothesize that your grandmother’s recent death is aligning your emotional state to be equal or equivalent o what you felt as you created Timothy. My understanding is based on what I can reverse engineer from your personal Ambit, and I must remind you; Golems do not feel emotions in like manner as do humans and my creation did not include the specializations that make Golmes adequate in the therapeutic field.”

“Wh-what does this all mean?” The voice was desperate and pleading.

“Master, what is required to maintain a satisfactory level of mental health is this: be transparent with me as a Golem with the objective of caring for you. If you are honest with me and honest with yourself then the self-care that you have already shown an aptitude I performing will perform as medical experts recommend.”

The expression on James’ face was what I considered to be incredulous. “So, I can ask you for more tea and Sudoku?”

“Yes Master, just don’t forget that tea and Sudoku is part of the prevention and not the complete cure. That expression on your face is so cute, James!”