Sunday

I love Sundays because it’s my most peaceful day of the week. This particular Sunday I woke up to the smell of cinnamon toast my daughter was making in the kitchen. My room isn't far from the kitchen. I can see her grabbing the toast and spreading butter on it. I admire her because she’s getting so big, she's ten now and becoming more independent. I love to admire her, watching her do life by herself, observing her be in her own world. The longer I stare her spider senses started to tingle and she looked at me.

“Moooom, why are you staring at me again?”

“I just love you babe”

She laughs at me off, she thinks I'm weird, I remember thinking my mom was weird when I would catch her staring at me. I get my mom now differently and why she would stare, and one day my daughter she will get it too.

“Do you want me to make you some toast too?” she asked

“Yes please but please put Jelly on mines”

She sang “One piece of cinnamon jelly toast coming”

She is my sweet girl, she doesn’t even know how she changed me, before I had her I liked to party. My girls and I never missed a Taco Tuesday, Wine Wednesday, or a Thirsty Thursday. I was in my early 20s, went to college, partied it up, went to every establishment and I had a lot of fun, maybe too much fun. When I conceived her It was with my on and off ex boy friend from high school. Knowing what I know now I'm not surprised of how things turned out. He is everyone's fun guy, he was even my hi and bye booty call. A combination of our unstable relationship and the way maturity hit us differently left me to be a single mom. It was unfortunate but my daughter needed a real mother so I took everything I thought was a real mom and became that.

“Mom, toast is ready!” She brought me my toast in the bed “Hurry up mom were going to be late for church” I lifted myself up and grabbed my toast

“I don't know why I am so sleepy, what time is it?”

“It's 7, we have to leave in 30” She walked into the bathroom we shared and I jokingly yelled “Well how am I supposed to get ready when you're in the bathroom.”

I could hear her eyes roll from the bathroom, I got up and got ready, this Sunday I am volunteering at my church. We have been going here since she was 5, we kind of church hopped until we found one that felt like home. This one is good. I don't get any bad vibes so it has worked out for us. This Sunday I work with this guy named Bryan. Ha has been here as far back as I can remember. He was one of the first people to greet me when I started coming here. He never made me feel uncomfortable or tried to hit on me but he is extremely attractive sometimes I wish he would. When he is around I tell myself to hush my crushing and focus. I haven’t dated since my daughter was younger. I wanted to focus on being a mom and healing the parts of me that felt broken. I didn’t realize how much time has passed since my last date but lately it has been on my mind if I should start again.

We arrived at church a few minutes late as usual. My daughter went up the stairs to the child area and I made my way to the cafe. I go back and forth from the cafe to the kids room. My daughter thinks I'm hovering when I go to the children's area so lately there has been more volunteering in the cafe. Brian was there already when I arrived.

“Well look who decided to come to church today”

“What do you mean? I am here every Sunday”

He looked at me with his head tilted and put his hands on his hip

“Now I don’t want to call you a liaaaaar buuut”

“I know I know but I'm here this Sunday” I responded. He was always playful with me and everyone around him. A lot of people liked him and a lot of the girls too. I am not sure why he doesn’t date any of them. Some of them seem like nice girls but he turns them down. I have volunteered with some of the girls they come in hot and bothered that he declined. I must admit I am not entirely disappointed he says no. I guess it's the crush I have on him, but I would never say anything to him about it. I like how things are with us being friends and it takes off the pressure to do more. I always worry if I date someone at my church if things would go bad and I don't want anyone to ruin it. I think that's why I am content with things and don’t act on my crush.

As we were working in the cafe we usually had a rush the first 15 minutes with coffees, breakfast, and getting everyone settled. Once service starts the cafe slows down so we really don’t get too much traffic. We usually stay open about 15-20 minutes after service starts to start closing down. We were having a casual conversation about this couple who is in the news. They were a well known celebrity couple and they were breaking up. The guy was an athlete, his name was Tell Williams, he was a well known soccer player who was dating Angela Vogal an all rewarded R&B Singer. Tell Williams was a cheater but he was my celebrity crush and Bryan knew that.

“Did you hear about your crush?”

“Yes I know he and Angela are breaking up”

“Did you hear? He’s a cheat…. do you still like him”

I started to fake cry “Not Tell it can’t be”

“Oh its Tell he's all over social media with his latest cheating scandal”

“Well I know that’s what initiated the break up but what did you see, what else happened?”

He pulled out his phone and showed me a TMX pod cast. Tell was spotted with Angela's best friend post break up.

“No !! Are you serious?! He’s a dog he’s a dog” I grabbed my heart as if it was mines that was broken

“So I'm going to take that as this crush over” he laughed

I pretended to be distraught. “My heart is broken but yeah” I wiped my face as if real tears were dripping down and out of whim I guess asked him

“Who is your celebrity crush?”

“I don't have a celebrity crush”

I didn't believe it everyone has one; so out of curiosity I asked

“Well if you don’t have a celebrity crush, who is your crush?” we were having a playful conversation I didn’t expect an actual answer but he stopped putting away the creamer in the fridge and looked at me

“I like you” and of course me still not taking him seriously blurted out

“You like me?! But you haven’t asked me out, try to hold my hand, or tried to kiss me”

He moved in closer, he grabbed my hand, his hands were soft and when our fingers touched I could feel the intensity of his energy. It was so weird it was like all his energy was saying everything he wasn’t. I stopped joking around and looked at him. His other hand touched my chin and he lifted up my face.

“I like you” and then he kissed me, I didn’t stop him, in fact I kissed him back, I couldn’t believe it. After a few seconds I stepped back.

“We probably should stop before someone walks in here”

He was still holding my hand

“Yeah maybe we should start with a date”

I was still holding his hand back

“I think that would be a better start.”