Date Zero

The worst place to be stuck in during a plague outbreak is a densely crowded, confined space, like a movie theater. And the worst time in which a plague could break out is during your first date with someone you'd had a huge crush on since college. It was a cold cloudy night. Is it gonna rain? I wondered while we were waiting for the movie to start, just as the lights started to dim. I hope we get to catch a bit of that drizzle. It would make a nice romantic walk.

The movie just started. Romantic walk? pff! Who am I kidding? It's a miracle she agreed to go out with me, let alone to a cheesy indie movie whose concept came from a Reddit post. But to be fair, I know Lucy is also into weird horror movies. Does she have the slightest clue that this is supposed to be a date? I was so awkward that I shook her hand when I arrived. She was going for a hug:

"Hey, good to see you! Traffic?"

"Hi! Yeah, no, yeah, just traffic." (I lied. There was no traffic. I was running late and tripped and fell face-first into a puddle of water crossing the street. I got myself together though; I bet she suspected nothing.)

"It's okay, we still got time to get popcorn! So, how have you been?"

"Yeah, good, thanks! Just working my ass off, haha."

"Haha."

Should I have said, what about you? Of course I should have. What was I thinking? That's what she was waiting for. Such an idiot. Where was this thought process just 20 minutes ago?

I know where it was: busy overthinking. I always do that, especially when my paranoia gets the better of me. I've been overthinking about this new disease. And I'm not talking about the new disease from last year. A new, new disease. Although luckily, it's just limited to a cruise ship, and they're keeping a close eye on it. They don't want the same thing happening two years in a row. Sometimes I worry too much about these things, like how this one could finally be the end of the human race as we know it. But I know this is just in my head. Plus, the parasite is only waterborne, and it's only found in the oceans. And we’re hundreds of miles away from the closest ocean.

Well, would you look at that, the movie is halfway through and I haven't been paying attention. What is this room again and how did he get stuck in it? Oh this movie is boring. I wish I could converse with people as easily as I do in my internal monologues. Maybe then I would have the courage to hold her hand right now. I feel like I need to puke, but it's too awkward to get up and leave. She'd be so embarrassed. How do I tell her I need to take a breath outside? Maybe that'll make me feel better. How would I even leave? Is that red door okay to open? What if it triggers the fire alarm? This is the worst situation to be stuck in. Like you are lying down with a boulder strapped to your chest and have to stand up.

The lights turn on, as if everyone knows I'm about to puke. Some people around us look at me. What do I do? Everyone will judge me. And Lucy would never lay an eye on me again. So I look at her. She's so embarrassed she's closed her eyes. Oh. Did she faint? Someone jumps right next to me and holds her hand and stands there for a minute.

The paramedics get here. They seem to have given up. Did I do something to her? Is she really gone just like that? I don't even know how to feel right now. What even happened? The hand I never held (but shook once) will go cold forever. And the eyes I could fall in love with will never see again. After this, how would I ever walk out of this movie theater? I should go home.

The funeral service would be swift and sad, I'd imagine. Of course, I can't build up enough courage to see her family and all of our old college friends. Plus, what would they even think of me? Some sort of monster she'd rather die than go on a date with? I should go home.

The paramedics know what to do with her. But looking at her eyes one last time would make me feel calm. She always made me feel calm. Even when she was presenting in class, I’d just watch her speak. I hold her hand for a second, for the first and last time. It’s surprisingly warm. The action that felt like carrying a boulder strapped to my chest just a moment ago is now as smooth as midnight rain! Where was this courage just an hour ago? I should go home.

She is alive! She opens her eyes and looks at me, confused. I'm holding her hand; it’s warm and smooth. But I thought she was dead. I even buried her in my imagination. Funny how I can just speak with her now. I’m standing, no longer with a boulder strapped to my chest! I should tell her how everyone in the room thought she was dead. I should tell her I wanted to hug her too. I should just start a conversation with her and talk for hours. But she opens her mouth first. She's whispering something. I get my ear closer to her mouth.

"I thought you were dead," she whispers.

Everything is calm. I can feel a shower of confidence washing over me. I'm holding her hand. Things feel so much smoother and slower. I can notice a light bulb flickering on and off out of the corner of my eye.

"But you died!" she says loudly. "Let go of my hand!"

My ear is still close to her mouth, which makes my teeth so close to her warm neck. I hug her just to feel her warmth. The lights are on. I can see her warm blood pumping in the veins sticking out of her neck. The cheesy movie's paused, of course. And everyone is looking. They're probably judging me now. I don't even care anymore. Why wouldn't I bite her neck? It would be a romantic gesture.

"Lucy the Juicy," I whispered.

Then I screamed. Wait, no, it was her who screamed. I was just drinking her blood. She only fainted in my head, didn't she? I finally let go of her. And her hands get covered in the blood that's still gushing out of her neck. The smell of iron surrounds the room. Everyone is panicking. The gushing blood is now just dripping on the carpet. Right next to Lucy's body. Well now she fainted! People are rushing out of that red door. I go after them. I don't have to overthink about what to do next anymore. It comes to me naturally. Where was this confidence when was alive?

I walk out of the movie theater. It's a cold midnight. I look around; most people are running. And some people are walking after them, some biting into another's neck. It smells like iron everywhere. There is a puddle of water on the ground. Or is it blood? I look up. It's raining.