200ft and counting

Friday night. That was pizza and wallow in self pity night and she was already deep into both. She slouched in her throne, her armchair, equipped in her queenly garb, her dressing gown and pyjamas, and eyed up the pizza box that had only just closed after claims that she was already full.

She raised her leg and craned it over to the table, flicking her toes at the box's lid until successfully prying it open.

Only empty space and internal judgement filled the gap between her foot and its target, all she had to do was pretend to be a claw machine, clutch the prize and bring it back. She wiggled her toes in anticipation only to concede and take the slice by more acceptable means.

She tapped her phone. No new notifications. She flopped back with a huff.

"On tonight's weather report. Entirely dry with no sign of rain."

She held the pizza tip to her lips and as she was about to take a bite her phone buzzed. She could see the notification from the chair. An old friend in current times.

"Maybe a slight chance of rain after all"

She chucked the slice back into the box and clutched at the phone.

You've got a match!

She unlocked her phone, slightly annoyed that the facial recognition worked in her current state, and looked at the newly acquired match.

"Oh he seems nice. He's got all his teeth from the looks of it and he definitely knows that shampoo, conditioner and body wash should be kept in separate bottles."

She scrolled through the profile.

Likes hiking, is a writer for a local young persons blog, liberal...

"Gooood good." She said, "Ah..."

5ft7

She paused.

Then he messaged.

"Hey! Don't suppose you're free for a drink tonight?"

It didn't take much thinking.

"Hey! I'm sure I could move some stuff around." By that she meant the pizza from table to fridge. "Just give me a time and place and I'll see you there?"

She didn't even wait for the reply before jumping in the shower, brushing her teeth twice and opening the closet hoping to find something date appropriate. She took out her blue dress and slipped into it.

"Weird." She said looking down at the dress that she could've sworn went below the knee. Instead it now rode up above them, encroaching on revealing an nsfw amount of thigh.

"Whatever, not like I'm meeting the parents."

The closest the taxi could drop her was three blocks away. Apparently some sewer pipes exploded and the city blocked off the roads for vehicles, typical Chicago.

"Jesus Christ can you stop!" She hissed at her dress as it kept riding further up her legs with every step. She was almost beginning to regret the choice to wear it but remembered it had been an awfully long time until anyone had seen this much of her skin and decided that if there was a night for it it was tonight.

The Matchbook Bar. It definitely screamed trendy leftwing blogger. The lighting was near non-existent, she had to follow a dim red LED strip light to avoid bumping into one of the tables. The bar was on the right side, illuminated by slightly brighter lights. As he said in his text he was already sitting there, what his text didn't say was he had most likely been there when he initially messaged her.

“Wow you just couldn't wait and got started without me huh? Got me feeling like you're more excited about the drinking part of the date than the dating part.”

He jolted up, probably expecting her to text letting him know she was there.

“Oh shit. That's ugh that's not mine.” He said sliding the glass away. “Gina, right?”

“Mikey, right?”

“Haha right.”

He slid off the bar stool and looked up, retreating a little.

Gina did the same. She could help but notice she was a good head taller than him.

“Your profile said you were 5’4…” He laughed, rubbing a nervous hand on the back of his head.

“And yours said 5’7…” She replied. “Clearly one of us is lying, and sadly history shows it's usually the man.”

Shit. She thought. He’s still cute though right?

She looked him up and down and sure he was cute, well groomed, well dressed and looked the type to have a couple $300 “parfums” at home.

“Can I ugh, get you a drink?” He asked, gesturing to the bar.

“Sure, thanks.” She said taking the seat next to him. “Gin and tonic, slim line if they have it.”

He ordered her drink and got himself a tequila on the rocks which came in the same glass that apparently wasn't his.

They sat in silence for a moment sipping on their drinks. She could feel the dress riding up her so much that if she turned she’d be flashing him way too prematurely.

“So.” He cleared his throat. “You're that girl who does the weather right? I would say I'm a fan but I usually get my info from more boots on the ground types you know, like YouTubers, tiktokers, that sorta thing.”

Riiigght. She thought. A boots on the ground weather presenter.

“Gotta say you look a lot shorter on TV.”

“That's the funny thing about TVs, everything's much bigger outside of a box made to fit in your living room.”

“Haha funny… good one.” He said, taking a hefty gulp of his drink.

He's cute right? She thought again, looking still looking down on him even though they were sitting. Yeah, schoolboy cute. And a liar.

“I'll be right back, I just gotta use the ladies.’

She didn't even wait for him to reply before she left.

Walked into the cubicle and couldn't help but laugh as she looked down. The toilet was possibly the lowest toilet she'd ever seen in her life.

Have I walked into a bar made for kindergarteners disguised as adults?

She squatted barely fitting on the seat, did her business and left the comically small cubicle. She went to wash her hands and again the sink was ludicrously low, so low she had to bend to reach, she couldn't even see her head in the mirror, only the dress that now rode all the way up past her hips.

“What the actual fuck!” She screamed.

Her skin felt prickly hot and her head felt like it weighed nothing and a million pounds at once.

She tried to hold onto the sink but it was too low. Gravity's pull felt more alluring than it had a few seconds ago and she found herself falling to the floor at a speed that would be ill advised in most circumstances.

“Hey, are you okay?” It came from the other cubicle.

She tried to mumble a reply but nothing came out.

“Two seconds Hun I'm coming right out.”

She mumbled again and again no words came.

The cubicle door swung open followed by a scream.

“Help.” She managed to croak.

Whatever caused the girl the scream quickly went away and she felt her kneel beside her.

“Oh honey what on earth…”

She felt the other woman pulling at her arm, trying to get her upright with great effort. After many grunts the world was back how it should be and she looked around. The woman's face came into her view, she looked concerned, terrified and compassionate in one confusing bundle.

“Girl are you alright?”

“I… I think my dress shrunk.”

The other woman's face softened.

“Honey, I don't know how you got in that damned thing in the first place, let alone why you left the house in it… like your whole cooch is out!”

“But it's my date night dress…”

The other woman's face hardened again.

“Date night? Girl did he roofy you and put you in this shit? Is he out there? I'm about to go kick his ass.”

“No! No.” She waved a heavy hand. “He’s harmless… and tiny… actually so are you… so is everything here…”

“Damn girl I'm pretty sure everything is tiny to you.”

“Hey… I’m only 5’4!”

“Pffft sure you are hun and I'm goddam Oprah.”

“You're Oprah?”

The other woman raised her eyebrow.

“You must've hit your head pretty hard huh? We gotta get you to a hospital.”

“No… I'm okay, just a little dizzy, just…get me home please.”

The other woman hesitated but agreed, dialling the cab number.

“Hi yeah, I'm at the Matchbook bar. I need a pick up going to 633 LaSalle street. Mhm yeah and I need it to be one of those big mini vans. How many passengers? Just the one, you'll understand when you see.”

She was starting to think she was living in some messed up dream. Everything felt smaller to her. First her date, then the bathroom and now the taxi. She was beginning to think there was something seriously wrong. Maybe she was dreaming, maybe her drink was spiked, maybe she was hitting a second puberty. All she knew for sure was she was struggling for space in a 6 seater mini van with a dress that was now a tube top. Thankfully the girl from the bar had given her her coat to wrap around her waist.

Surprisingly the cab driver made no complaints about her situation, only commenting that he knew her from the TV. Clearly this was not the weirdest thing he'd seen on shift, that or he was enjoying seeing far more of her than she'd like.

She pretty much burst out the back of the cab when it stopped at her complex even then the driver just smiled.

“I've seen you on TV.” He said once more before getting back in and driving off.

She tried to get her key from her bag but it wouldn't fit. Her hand was now the size of the entire bag that contained a separate makeup bag, keys, pepper spray and a spring action umbrella.

She screamed and threw the back on the floor sending everything in shattered directions.

She stormed up and yanked on the handle hoping someone had left it unlocked. They hadn't, that didn't matter. The entire door came off.

She threw it to the side and squeezed into the gap it left.

“Just. Get. Me. To. Bed.”

She grunted, squeezing herself in and through the entry hall.

“So. This. Fucking. Nightmare. Can. Fucking. End.”

Like a spelunker she squeezed herself up the steps and down her hall. She had to crouch just to fit in the hall that led to her apartment.

She shoved one forceful hand into her door, breaking the lock and sending a cloud of wood shards into her apartment.

“You!” She hissed pointing at the pizza that she'd forgotten to put away. “You did this!”

She looked down at the dress that was completely torn and hanging off her now naked body like a blue tourniquet.

“You did this!” She ripped off what little remained on her.

“When you wake up it will all be okay. It's fine. This is just a dream.”

She crawled through her tiny apartment and punched a hole through to the bedroom.

“It's fine… there are no security deposits in dreams.”

6am CT:

“Jesus Perry, will you hurry up! We're already late as it is.”

Julianne slammed the door of the channel 5 news truck and shoved past the camera men that flocked around the apartment building. Perry followed closely behind struggling to keep hold of the camera as he was shoved from all angles.

“Yo Julianne slow down. I'm going to drop the camera.”

“Don't you fucking dare.” She said not turning around, if anything she sped up.

“Julianne! We don't even know what's going on, can you just slow down!”

She came to a halt and spun on her heels.

“Don’t you ever tell me what to do, camera boy!” She snapped jabbing a polished nail at the tip of his nose. “For all we know there could be a 200ft woman hiding behind Willis tower and we’d be the first to get it.”

“A 200 what? Julianne have you gone entirely ins-” his words were cut short. The camera no longer a priority fell freely onto the floor.

Julianne was ready to unleash her fury but Perry put his hands on her shoulders and twisted her around.

The ground shook as it happened. One giant foot, followed by another stepped out from behind Willis tower.

“Julianne. Are you down there? I think I see the channel 5 van but to be honest. They all look like hot wheels from up here.”

She looked down at tens of vans and hundreds of people that stared up at her. None of them, able to make a sound, not even scream.

She stepped out fully, she was covering her more sensitive areas with her hands. To no one's surprise underwear wasn't available in her size, even in America.

“Julianne, It's me Gina.”

After a long silence she heard Julianne.

“Hi Gina… you look nice… new haircut?”

“Something like that.”

She paused. She could hear sirens in the distance.

“Hey, Julianne I know it's a bad time for jokes but… I don't suppose you want to know what the weather's like up here?”