Silenced

Once upon a time I fell off a wall

Once upon a time I had a great fall

It doesn’t matter if I had horses or kings

No one would repair my broken wings

###

I could hear a string snap. Another inch of my sanity being claimed by shadows. My shadows. A shiver snaked its way up my spine, curling around my heart and lungs. I’d woken up with this nightmare pasted over my world. Everyone I knew and loved was gone. Just gone.

I didn’t know how…

A single shuddering breath was all I could manage to pull in. It had never been this bad. Sweat was pouring down my face, eyes dancing from one alley to the next and then toward the tent. Its red and white stripes were basically nonexistent, all of it fading into a twisted gray.

“Hello, pet.”

My skin went cold, blood draining from my already pale cheeks. The claws moved across the ribbons of my ruined corset. Most of the fabric was gone, leaving the boning as exposed as the pink coloring had been to the elements. It was all tattered and white now. This was all that remained. My circus, my home, consumed in something I couldn’t fathom.

I smothered a scream. They’d hear. My demons would hear.

I took off, a phantom racing for the tent as if it would offer me some amount of safety. The shadows wouldn’t follow me…I hoped.

The ghost of claws still traced my skin as the last whispers of a breeze brought the shadow’s words to me.

“There is nowhere to go. Let’s play.”

Let’s play.

The words burned into my mind.

All it would take was a single choice. It would be so much easier than running. I just had to speak. I pressed my hands over my ears, willing my thoughts to go back to whatever cursed corner of hell they had come from.

My bare feet were sliced and bleeding when I pushed open the tent flap. The darkness in there was all consuming. Each one of my heartbeats was the throbbing ticking of a clock, counting down to an inevitable fate.

Fingers slid across my bare neck, too cold. Dead. The scream reawakened in my chest, unwilling to let me slow it now. I murmured a strangled moan, fighting to escape as the hand drove its nail into my neck.

My skin tore free, pools of blood running down and staining my thigh-length skirt.

“Let’s play, pet. Everything will feel so much better.”

My eyes landed on the speaker. It was the only thing I could make out in the abyss. A checkered mask covered its face, ragged, bloodred clothing clinging to decaying skin. Each patch was sick green, translucent enough for each black vein to stand out.

“Nothing would be so scary if you couldn’t feel it. If you died.”

Its hands reached out to me just as its eyes flashed open. Black pits, ready and waiting to swallow me whole. I tried to run, tried to think of how to get out of this nightmare even as my heart raced and sweat poured down my face. I couldn’t risk making a sound.

Silenced.

I clamped my mouth shut as tears streamed down my cheeks, my back slamming against something unseen. I could feel the claws grabbing me, digging into my arms, chest, and cheeks, furrowing holes through my flesh that would never heal.

The masked demon moved toward me as the hands yanked at my skin. The wall behind me gave out and the fabric of the tent washed over my body.

Each lick of cloth on my cheeks was nothing short of agony as blood and skin hung off my face.

“Welcome to the circus.”

My head snapped around as my tears dripped into my wounds, burning till a scream was clawing in my throat. There was another…thing.

Give up. There’s nothing you can do. You’re going to die.

I tried to shake off the thoughts as the second voice found me. Dark skin clung to barely concealed bones. A black and white checkered mask covered the faceless thing, though the rest of its clothes were like a raven’s wing.

I didn’t have a second to move away before the mask was an inch from my face. Too long, too narrow fingers brushed my jaw, staining them crimson. The monster pulled back, staring at its fingers for a moment.

I was on my feet before the icy chill of its touch could settle any further into my bones. My legs were trembling as I bolted in the only direction that seemed to go on for a ways. In my panicked haze, I risked a glance over my shoulder as the demon turned to me, my blood dripping from a crudely painted smile and eyes.

I stopped, gut twisting as it moved. It didn’t step any closer to me, rather it was looking…behind me.

Trembling, I turned, letting my eyes land on the crimson demon in front of me, the same one from the entrance. It was less than an inch away from my face, it’s decaying breath washing over me, making my gut churn.

I jumped back, directly into the other one. My own blood dripped onto my shoulder from its face.

“Just call for them.”

I couldn’t tell which of them said it. It could have been both or neither. They watched me with unseen eyes. I could no longer tell what voices were in my mind and which ones were really heard.

Silenced. Silenced.

I chanted the word to myself. I was silenced. I wouldn’t break that. I couldn’t risk breaking that. I felt their hands curl about my body, and I shoved for all I was worth. As my skin burned from their touch, flesh sizzling and falling from my body, the circus spotlight flickered on.

In the darkness, it illuminated only one thing. A tightrope.

Crying, trembling, and with a racing heart, I shoved with everything left in my worthless body. The demons loosened their grip for just a moment. It was enough.

I ran for everything I was worth. My legs were burning and I could barely see through my tears. I leapt for the ladder, feeling the cool metal under my sweaty palms. Rust stuck to my hands, coating my fingers. The demons watched me, unmoving. I shivered, trying to focus on nothing but the bars. The metal beneath my feet gave way, and I smothered a scream. I couldn’t get rid of all of it.

A single squeak made it out, and then there were a thousand eyes, edging toward me. Crimson and shining. Hungry. They were on the ground for now, but some of them had a foot on the ladder, waiting for me to make a single peep.

Not even a whisper would be safe now.

I wanted to cry. I wanted to fight. I wanted to do anything that might get me out of here.

I yanked myself up the rest of the way, standing on the podium that went out onto the tightrope. I stared out at it, wondering if it would be a safe place, ready to beg it not to break.

“Talk to us, sweet.”

I spun, my face just an inch away from the demon with a painted smile. My breath caught, and I took a step back, nearly tipping off the edge. The demon reached out to me. I had no other option left. It would torture me till I made a sound, then it would destroy me.

I leapt out toward the tightrope. I’d never be able to walk it, but I could cling to it for dear life. My hands curled around it, grasping, willing it not to break. My fingers slipped, leaving me barely clinging on.

“Just come to us.”

The painted face demon stepped out on the tightrope as if it might have been a solid floor. I sucked in a breath as it knelt down beside me, setting rotting hands to either side of my face.

My skin burned and peeled away as agonized tears scampered down my cheeks. Its rotting face moved closer till I could see my reflection in its painted face. Pain tore through my body and the scream escaped my lips before I could stop it.

The tightrope snapped. I knew then with striking clarity, this was where everyone had gone. They were dead. Every last one of them, and I was going to join them.

Everything was sucked into darkness so quickly I barely felt it as the shadows, finally, enveloped me.

###

When my eyes flashed open, the masks had fallen from the demon’s faces. My family, my lover, my life. It was them, all dead and decaying. All of them waiting for me.

I had found them at last.