Like a Whale

Friday Night: Shortly After Round 2

“Dude, aren’t you white?”

I stared into his blue eyes as I–very gently–shoved him against the lockers.

He stared at me, confused, probably because a near stranger was holding him by the shoulders and had–once again, very gently–shoved him against the locker behind him.

“I’m an eighth Canadian…”

I tilted my head, “Native or…”

I trailed off as he shook his head, “I meant I’m very white.”

“You can’t be making racist jokes if you’re white. You shouldn’t be doing that anyway, but especially not if you’re white.”

“I guess I’m just a racist white guy then.”

I released him, then shook my head, sighing.

“Obviously.”

Teenage boys and their microaggressions.

A Short Time Later

“I just got a hug from a straight racist white guy.”

Aiden had a look of pure concern on his face, “What?”

I started to explain it to Aiden, then I saw him, “Hey Mitchell!”

He raised two fingers in a salute, starting to walk towards me.

As he neared, I gestured to him, “This is the straight racist white guy I got a hug from.”

He gave me a quizzical look, “You say that like it’s an accomplishment.”

“Perhaps it is.”

“Why would it be? There are a lot of straight racist white guys. I’m not all that special.”

“Perhaps getting a hug was the accomplishment. Perhaps I don’t get a lot of hugs at all. Especially from straight Canadian, racist, white, blue-eyed, freckled, orange-tied, two-handed guys who do impromptu.”

We stood staring at each other from a moment, then he spoke, “Fair enough.”

He walked away.

I prepared for the third round, grabbing my red notebook and a pencil. Emri and I walked to room 1519. I was glad to have her shadowing me.

My Mental List of Impromptu Rules:

1. Remember the diamond.

2. Really listen to what your competitors say. (it’s a respect thing)

3. Use prep time.

4. Fist bumps?

5. Try starting with a question.

Friday Night: Round 3

“Today I was chose the topic of a fish out of water.” I took a deep breath, looking at my audience.

It was only six kids and a judge. I could do this.

“In many stories, there is a point where a character is a fish out of water. Whether when trying something new, or when something they are generally good at suddenly becomes hard.” I took a breath, stepping towards the side.

Remember the diamond.

“I think we’ve all felt like this, a fish out of water. I know I have. I feel like one right now. Impromptu and speeches are pretty new to me… in fact I only joined the team about two weeks ago, and I kid you not, when I looked at the topics to choose from, my mind went blank,” It felt like the theatre kid in me was showing through as I spread my hands in the air, almost as if I was washing a window with both hands, or gently caressing a door, wishing it would whisper the secret to giving a perfect impromptu speech, “Honestly, I hardly have any idea what I’m saying at the moment…”

Cue the nervous laugh.

I moved backwards a bit–once again remembering the diamond. I searched the faces of my competitors, looking for approval, scorn, boredom, anything. Their faces were impassive.

“I believe we’ve all felt this way, like a fish out of water. Floundering and flailing and hopping around on-like… a fish just tossed on the shore.” I gestured weakly in front of myself, “When this happens we feel uncomfortable.” I took a couple steps to my left.

“And th-And I believe that this is important. To feel uncomfortable I mean. You see, we need to learn to adapt, like-take the whale for example. Whales started ou–according to the theory of evolution, whales came out of the sea, adapted to the land, became mammals, then went back into the sea–alon–I suppose along with the other marine mammals, I suppose. Now, we mus-I believe we must be like the whales… quick to adapt…”

I leaned towards the desk, checking the timer on my phone.

4:42:36

4:42:37

4:42:38

I have two minutes and eighteen seconds left. Frick.

“Because… because we need to learn to put ourselves in places that make us feel uncomfortable. If we do–don’t do this, then we won’t grow. There’s no improvement without putting yourself in a place where you’re uncomfortable–where you-where there’s room for improvement. Because we can’t grow without being uncomfortable. We can’t be who we want to be–unless I suppose who you want to be is someone boring, that never tries to grow, and only does things they’re good at, with no meaning in life… the work–the un–discomfort shapes into who we are to become... well rounded people. A–as I mentioned before, I feel like a fish out of water right now, like all the words I could be saying have disappeared. Though I suppose as impromptu speakers who are all at their first tournament today, we-we’ve probably all fee-felt like this today. And this is okay. I feel like…”

I stepped forward, fumbling for words.

“We need to… grow legs from our flippers, or I suppose we must learn to swim, considering that we are land mammals, not fish. What I mean is…” I took a breath, “We must learn to adapt, like the whale, and in order to do that, we must put ourselves in uncomfortable situations. If we never let ourselves be uncomfortable–if we never let ourselves be the fishes… or fish I suppose, since that is the correct plural of fish–If we never let ourselves be fish out of water, then we will never grow. At least… we won’t grow in the ways you do if you are forced to adapt. I-In conclusion, in order to adapt, in order to grow… in order to become who we want to become, we must learn to be comfortable with the uncomfortable, and with being the fish out of water.”

“I concede the rest of my time.”

I walked back to my seat, shaking my head.