The Depths

The pain was nothing new to me, especially after the first shift. Cries no being should make rung through the night, calls I couldn’t ignore. My heart thrummed in my chest as I dragged myself up on a nearby steep rock face, searching urgently for a sign. The pull to land was so consuming my scales exploded off my body in agonizing waves. My legs pulsed in shock and yet, I found I could stand.  

The day it happened was unsuspecting. I had wandered from the deep as I so often did since I was a child, my long scaled tail beating to keep me afloat in a sunbaked and restless sea of turquoise. Humans caught my gaze in the twisted jungle just past the rocky shore. They collected a bright yellow fruit in woven baskets. They reminded me of the seaweed baskets my people used to collect shells in for our homes carved into the coral far behind and beneath me. There was a ship in the distance, farther than these humans could see but I knew where it was headed. 

Why did I care? They mattered no more than a school of fish floating by.   

By evening the ship reached the shore. 

To my surprise my new limbs weren’t shaky but formidable, like it came naturally and my body was ready and waiting for this night. Walking was exhilarating. I increased my pace to see a circle of dense leaf covered huts engulfed in a blinding hot destruction, the smell of it seared my nostrils and I recoiled in disgust. My eyes watered as I blinked the tears away to see rows of familiar humans on their knees, hands tied behind their backs. 

Why was I here? These creatures meant nothing to us. 

“We stay to ourselves, the deep blue is vast enough. No need to venture onto land,” my mother would say as part of the evening mantra while she braided my mane of thick black hair. 

“But-we share similarities mother, do we come from them? Do they come from us?” My curiosity knew no bounds those days, and my head was filled with scenes of cautiously watching the humans reside on my turquoise beach I’d so often sun myself on. That light inside me had still pulsed steadily before centuries of solitude had taken their toll.

“We have been here since long before Amatheia, they are inconsequential simple beasts. Wander land if you dare,” she warned as she finished my hair and pointed her long delicate seafoam green finger to the opening of our home. She was always shooing me out of our vast coral dwelling, wanting me to find a mate. To settle down. To ask less questions.  

Her words of warning echoed in my turbulent mind as I watched the humans, my humans, have their faces shoved in the dirt by what looked to be other humans. These other humans looked so strange. They were wearing armor the color of dark fish scales that glinted off their chests, arms, and legs. The shiny beasts rounded my humans up, spears pointed at a particular human I was fond of. His tan skin was bloodied and gleaming in the fire’s light, beads of sweat poured down his chest as fury shone in his eyes. He was fighting them and pride flared brightly in my heart. I knew he had to be a warrior of some kind. We had warriors as well under the waters, fighters who hunted and killed for our well being. Warriors like me.

As I stepped out of the moonlit shadows, my humans saw me and balked, mouths dropping open in a mixture of awe and terror. I couldn’t blame them, but I would show them differently. 

My claws remained in the shift, and they were now weapons on this land. By the time the first shiny beast saw me it was too late. I slung the back of my hand and he flew into a tree by the edge of the village. I was bigger, stronger and eight of them were a small inconvenience. I brought my shimmering talons down to slice through the ties holding my humans. They flinched and cried out only to look down and see the ties fall from their wrists like the leaves off their trees. 

They stared at me, backs stiff and mouths agape. I stared back. They had to have seen me before, I was ashamed at how many times I’d laid on the shore wondering if any would approach me. I’d given them enough chances to spot me. Under the water I was alone. Up here I was alone, but the loneliness carried hope with it. A world that hadn’t turned its back on me yet. 

I sprinted to the water, my skin yearned to be swallowed whole by the waves and I gladly obliged. My people are hard edged and brutal like the temperamental waves that beat the shore around me. I just never ended up swimming to those depths. I suppose my path led up and out instead. 

I paced the shore, making tight circles in the toasted sands glistening under a crimson setting sun. The slashes of red against the orange sky made my mind flash to the blood all over our village and all over me after she had appeared last night. As my feet dug deeper indents in the sand I felt like the vivd onyx and purple birds that performed mating dances in the summer. Circling and circling they weaved in intricate patterns and I couldn’t help but become transfixed in wonder at the effort. 

She was frightening and beautiful. A foreboding creature dragged up from the depths yet I’d know those eyes from anywhere. Under the waves, halfway up the shore, they watched us but we never named her. 

“Don’t get too close, if you do the deep will have you,” the words echoed from the warriors as they spun tales around the fire, the children shrinking back in fear, eyes wide as they glanced back at the cresting waves.

I believed the stories, but the doubt crept in as years went by with the absence of anyone being taken and drowned. 

“I’ve named her Merrimiak,” I said one storm laden night around a humble fire as we stood guard around our village. 

“And here I thought your head was always up in the clouds. Now I see its in the ocean,” my friend said, shaking his head and poking at an errant ember. 

“Has any ever tried to talk with her?” I say, ignoring the jab. My curiosity had gotten the better of me. I knew that was a dangerous thing to say. Silence dropped like a stone over the group and even the swaying of the tress above us seemed to pause in their protest of the insistent wind.

“Her? We don’t even know what that monster is let alone if its male or female. You’re out of your head. That’s the end of this and you’d do well to not bring it up again lest I tell the elders and they’re forced to contain you.” The leader of our group left no space for a response, and I stay quiet and unsatisfied.

Now, we’ve seen her, now we know her. She’s saved us, yet they still argue of her danger. I waited on the shore. I will see her again.  

Several days passed by and my circling continued. One afternoon I thought I saw a tail flicker by the sharp rock face, sunlight bouncing off deep violet and green scales. I placed a shaky hand to my forehead and squinted as beads of sweat dripped from my chin. She will come tonight I just know it. These ships in the distance are acting as an omen. One she won’t ignore. 

This threat is unlike any we’ve ever seen. Battles have come and gone, but this was something else entirely different and my heart ached at the portent of death and destruction.  

Merrimiak translated to hope, something beaming on the horizon. Where my people saw terror, I saw beauty. I gave up my path in the sands for waiting where the forest met the beach. As I sat under a small covering of trees watching the sun dip under the ocean for maybe the last time, battle loomed over my shoulder like a predator stalking its prey. I would wait until the last minute if I must, to prove that with her by our side we would turn the tide. 

I knew who remained on the shore. My heart cracked open into too many pieces to count as I swam laps around the island. My internal battle fell this way and that. I should never return, it is not our way. We only use our powers on land in dire circumstances. The ability to shift had been dying out year after year, yet here I was, still able to. This was a sign wasn’t it? 

By the fourth day, when more ships splattered the horizon, I had made up my mind. He didn’t deserve to die when I could help. He was clearly waiting for me. A man, a human man and the pull to help was more than I’d felt in a long, long time. 

As I came ashore my steps felt light and imbued with purpose. The shift was faster this time and I made my way past the beach into the forest to the humble firelight where I knew he waited for me. Pebbles bit into my tender feet and I flinched with the new pain as I ducked under a tree heavy with the yellow fruit, its sweet scent mixing with the lingering ocean salt that still coated my now richly tan human skin. 

He stood as I approached, broad chest bare and black hair tied back to reveal the hint of a smile lit from hope within. His eyes danced behind the firelight as he grabbed a piece of fruit and took a tentative step toward me, offering it out of his hand in encouragement. 

This was the right decision and the look of hope in his eyes matched the yearning void within me. Thorns had grown around my heart. Protection that in turn dug its own sharpness inward, constricting everything in my path. Until this moment. That look on his face matched my own in the few seconds our eyes fell upon each other, blurring out the rest of life around us. 

I reached out a hand, noticing the lack of webbing between my fingers and felt the corners of my lips twinge upwards at the change. I held his eyes as I took one, two, three steps forward, close enough to touch his outstretched hand. 

Before I could reach him, a sharp movement behind his shoulder pulled my attention and I opened my mouth to warn him but not a word could escaped. The only panicked noise I managed to make in my throat sounded like choking or drowning or maybe both. He furrowed his brow in confusion scanning my face as I watched one of the shiny beasts spring from behind, focused entirely on my human. 

I roared in warning, the sound finally bursting through. The yellow fruit fell from his hand and rolled in front of my feet as a cruel silver point protruded from his chest. No, no, no! 

He fell forward on his knees and the shiny beast then noticed me, a triumphant look on sharp features morphing into horror. But he doesn’t have long as I decided to side step and swiftly plunge my claws into the muscle of his exposed neck. He collapsed with a look of terror on his face and I realized he is much smaller and has less of this armor on him then the others had. A scout then. One I did not see coming.

I turned and hugged my human to me, blood trickled from his mouth as he stared up into my eyes, the life draining from the face I’d come to know. 

Tears would not give him justice, nothing would. I pulled him closer as I knelt on the blood soaked ground, cradling him to me and dropping my forehead to his until some time had passed. I stood and didn’t let go. I couldn’t as I made my way back towards the beach, his head falling backwards against my arm and his legs limp at my the other side. 

The world around me was a blur of grief as I made out angry shouting behind me. I heard words I can’t understand but recognized as his peoples language. They’ve seen us. At least he knew the truth. 

An arrow sliced the air past my head, followed by another that pierced through the flesh on my upper shoulder, and I stumbled forward for a moment. It takes all the strength I have not to just collapse on the beach and wish for my earthly body to be absorbed by the sand.

Another arrow cut by and planted itself in the shallow water in front of me. I looked back to see two warriors watching, stalking me with a look of darkness, of rage.  

I kept going until the icy water rose up to meet us. From the depths I came, and to the depths I return.