Curtailed Kismet

Recess, 4th grade, near the basketball court. That’s where I first met Paul. He was standing there kicking little rocks with his hands shoved in his pockets, his fingers still sticky with jelly from his sandwich. I know, because I walked over and introduced myself and shook his hand.

“I’m Mike. You don’t play much at recess, do ya?” I’d said.

“I’m Paul. Nah, nothing to do. I don’t like football, or tag, or chasing girls til they tell the teacher.” Paul had said with a roll of his light blue eyes.

“Yeah, that’s so dumb! You won’t find me chasing girls either. Wanna go fling ants off the tree over there with sticks?” I had asked, hopeful he would be as amused as me launching helpless insects across the playground.

“That sounds awesome!” Paul said, his eyes lighting up.

And that’s how we became friends. Agreeing that girls were dumb and ants could be astronauts. We’ve come a long way since 4th grade. We somehow managed to graduate high school without getting in too much trouble together, finished college, and found a place together until we can save up enough for places of our own.

Growing up, we’ve always had similar interests. It’s why we get along so well. We both agreed on the apartment when we went to look at it. It was just fine enough. We don’t have high expectations, and two bedrooms, one bathroom, a kitchen, and a living room to watch Netflix was perfect. We didn’t argue about who got the bigger bedroom; I let Paul have it. Guy’s been through a lot growing up, he deserves a bigger room now. His parents split when he was in 6th grade, and he had to share a room with his two brothers right up until he left for college. Then he was stuck in a tiny dorm room with a roommate who always had friends staying over, cramping the room even more. Now Paul can finally have his own space, and a pretty big one too. I’ve been lucky to have my own room growing up, then a single dorm room in college. Having the smaller room now is no big deal.

I shoot Paul a text when I go on lunch at work.

“Let’s get dinner at The Marsh later,” I send, and wait for a reply. I know Paul takes lunch at around the same time as me, so he should respond quickly. I sit at the break room table and open my lunch bag. Sandwich, apple, water, and chips. Pretty much the same lunch I’ve had since I met Paul in grade school. I laugh thinking of the loud cafeteria, the food fights, the questionable gray meat the cafeteria ladies in their mesh hairnets would slop onto trays.

I finished my lunch and still no reply from Paul. Maybe he got held up with meetings or something. He has a great job. I mean, really great and promising for his future. He’s working as a project manager at a big company right in downtown. At the rate he’s going, he will be able to get his own place soon and then I’ll be stuck finding a new roommate. I don’t have a bad job, but it’s definitely not the same caliber as Paul’s. I work as a consultant, entry level, pretty much a step above mailroom letter sorter. But it’s fine, I can move up the ladder.

Ping

“Maybe another night. Plans later.”

Paul’s reply jolts me from my ponderings, and I’m confused. Since when does Paul have plans? With a shrug, I type back, “That’s cool bro. I’ll see you later.” I pack up my chips that I forgot to eat, and head back to my cubicle. Plans? What’s he up to?

That night, Paul didn’t wander in until 10:30pm. Very unusual for him. I was already tucked in under my heavy blanket and didn’t feel like getting up to find out what his plans were that kept him out so unusually late. I’d catch him in the morning. But 10:30? That really had me wondering.

“Late night, eh?” I said as I poured milk into my corn flakes. I looked up to meet Paul’s eyes, and didn’t realize the flakes were acting like some kind of breakfast prism, ricocheting the milk like beams of light in every direction all over the table.

“Dude, watch the milk!” Paul shouted, as I simultaneously looked down at my mess. Then we belly laughed at my carelessness as Paul rushed over with paper towels. He’s always cleaning up my messes.

“Yeah, it was a fun night. I have to run now, I’ll tell you about her later!” Paul said as he ran out the door.

Wait. “Her”? So it was a date! I smiled and ate my corn flakes, wondering who the new lady could be.

Work went by slowly, and I couldn’t help but think about who Paul was seeing now. He mentioned a “Vicki” a few times, but nothing overly exciting. He said he talked to “Gina” a few times since they left college, but that relationship had dried up faster than a puddle on a summer day. No way was he resurrecting that disaster.

Ping

“Be presentable later. Sophia is coming over.”

I read Paul’s message and it’s like he was reading my mind as I tried to figure out who this new girl could be. Sophia was the girl he mentioned about a week or two ago, the one who moved into the office down the hall from his. “She’s really…smart.” He had said with a grin and a wink. But then he didn’t bring her up again. I figured nothing was going to happen there. But apparently, something has happened, and she’s coming over later.

The only girlfriend I didn’t like that Paul had was Laura. He dated her freshman year in college, before the epic disaster of Gina, and she was one for the books. Was she pretty? Yeah. Was she crazy? Clinically. Don’t get me wrong, I was always nice to her. I was friendly with all his girlfriends, even the crazy ones. I’m glad he didn’t date Laura for long before he realized she wasn’t “long term” material. She’d wait outside the dorm, huge smile on her face, and walk him to every class. This meant she was mostly late for her own. I told Paul, “Buddy, there’s something just not right with that girl.” But he’d shrug and say she was nice. She’d text so often he couldn’t keep up with the conversation, bring him food all the time, started doing his laundry, put several pictures of herself in his room without him knowing, then dropped an air tag into his backpack to keep track of him without him knowing. She flipped one night when she tracked him to the student center when he was supposed to be in Bio.

“Class ended early so I met Mike, what’s the big deal?” He innocently asked. “Wait, how do you know where I was?”

And it didn’t take long to figure out what she’d done, then he broke it off. He threatened to get campus security involved if she didn’t leave him alone, so she cooled it.

Then there was Gina. Nice enough, pretty enough, exciting as wallpaper. He tried really hard to make that work, time and again, but Gina was hopeless. She’d talk about the Industrial Revolution all night long, switch to Ancient Rome, then say she was too tired to continue the conversation and go home. Paul wouldn’t stop her. Then Jackie. I thought that one would last longer, but Jackie wanted to focus on school and basketball. Fair enough.

I never dated much. There was Tricia, who was fine to hang out with, but I never felt much for her. Same with Zoe. And Becca. Becca and I still hang out sometimes, but just as friends. Never got that “wow, this is who I want to be with” feeling with them.

I left work early because not only was it Friday, but I worked through most of my lunch. I wanted to get home and do the dishes at least before Sophia and Paul showed up.

I stood at the sink with my sleeves rolled up to my elbows, scrubbing at a glass that once held a strawberry smoothie. There were tiny strawberry seeds embedded like fossils in the sides that may just be a permanent part of the glass now. I contemplated this as the soft sound of laughter rose from outside the door behind me in the kitchen. The door opened, and I turned around to greet Paul and his new girl.

I opened my mouth to say a warm, “Hey! I’m Mike!” but nothing came out. I locked eyes with Sophia, and she locked hers on mine.

“Sophia, this is Mike, who I told you about. Don’t worry, brother, none of the good stuff! And Mike, this is Sophia.” Paul said, smiling as he introduced us.

I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, my hands started to feel tingly like I had been sitting on them and they fell asleep. Was I turning red? Sweating? Sophia stood before me, and it was as if a switch turned on somewhere in my body. I was all electricity. There was a buzzing in my ears, and I half heard the words that she spoke.

“Nice to meet you, Mike. Paul has told me so much about you. He just adores you. Right, Paul?”

“Eh, I tolerate the guy,” Paul said and landed a playful punch on my shoulder. I still hadn’t spoken.

“You good, bro?” Paul asked, and snapped me back into the kitchen.

“Yeah, yes, I mean. I mean, it’s good to meet you too, Sophia, was it?” I babbled.

“Yeah. I’m sure I’ll see you around,” Sophia said as she followed Paul out of the kitchen. Her eyes never left mine. Her hand never left Paul’s.

I stood there not knowing what to do. I was still holding the strawberry seeded glass. What just happened? My heart was still racing. My hands started to feel normal again, slowly. Never have I seen such a beautiful face, beautiful hair, lips, body, everything.

And she was Paul’s.

I slowly walked to the doorway, and saw them on the couch. I saw him watching her with his eyes, touching her with his hands, as they looked for a movie to watch. I bet he’s going to hold her close tonight, as they lean in together and watch something. Suddenly, a wave of jealousy comes over me. I never wished to have one of Paul’s girlfriends before. Not until now.

“Hey, buddy, come watch a movie with us,” Paul shouted over his shoulder when he noticed me standing there.

“You sure? I don’t want to be the third wheel or anything,” I nervously replied.

“Yeah, Mike, come and watch with us!” Sophia added, and scootched Paul down the couch to make room. She patted the couch next to her, and we locked eyes again. There was something in her look that didn’t give me a choice. I sat by her, and she smiled her beautiful smile at me. Her hand was on her thigh, and it did not escape me that she slid her skirt up her leg, ever so slightly, before returning it to Paul’s.

I grabbed a pillow from the end of the couch, and held it on my lap, as she and Paul picked a movie to watch. We could have watched “The Little Mermaid” for all I cared. I was sitting mere inches from the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen. Paul put something on that Sophia requested. Some rom-com I’d never heard of. As the movie predictably plodded forward, I watched Sophia more than what was on the tv. The way she laughed and tucked her silky blonde hair behind her ear. The small parting of her red lips as she watched the movie, engrossed in the terrible plot. The tilting of her head towards Paul’s shoulder as she became sleepy near the end. My leg was close enough to hers to feel body heat radiating out. But not close enough to touch. But I can’t touch. This is Paul’s girl.

When the movie ended, I quickly stood to get out of the room. I didn’t want to be rude, but I couldn’t take it anymore. Being so close, watching them watch each other, was too much. Then when they started talking cute, telling each other what a nice night it had been, well that was that.

“Hey, thanks for letting me hang with you guys. Goodnight,” I hurried to say and disappeared into my room. Would he ask her to stay over? Are they going to his room now? I decided I couldn’t think about it. I wouldn’t think about it. But then all night long, as I restlessly tossed and turned, that’s what I thought about.

I made coffee first thing in the morning after rolling out of bed. I usually sleep in on Saturdays, but there was no sleep to be had. As I grabbed the coffee pot and began to pour a cup, I felt the warmth of a small, soft hand on my arm.

“Mind if I have a cup, too?” Sophia whispered.

I nearly spilled the coffee.

“I…yes. Sure, let me grab a mug,” I sputtered. Sophia’s blue eyes were the color of a tropical ocean, maybe the Bahamas from pictures I’d seen. And there was a deepness to them like an ocean. What was she thinking? Did she feel the electricity too?

“Thanks, this is wonderful. I can never sleep in on the weekends, so I think my body just expects caffeine bright and early. You too?” She asked, sitting down at the kitchen table. She held the green mug with both hands wrapped around it, leaning forward on her elbows.

“Yeah, just couldn’t sleep,” I said and sat next to her. I want to say so many things. I want to tell her what I’m feeling, but the point is probably moot. She’s with Paul. This will never be. Can never be. Or, can it?

“Sophia, I wanted to ask you something. And please, just be honest,” I said, steeling myself.

“When you first came here, and watching the movie, did you - “

“Hey gorgeous! No, not you, Mike,” Paul said as he came into the kitchen. He gave Sophia a kiss, and I looked away, uncomfortable.

“Morning!” Sophia said, getting up from her chair, and wrapping her arms around him. I sat, staring into my coffee cup.

“Better get dressed so we can go grab breakfast,” Paul said, taking a sip of her coffee. They were sharing a workplace, sharing a bed, and sharing a coffee.

Sophia went to get dressed, and Paul sat down.

“Isn’t she great? I can’t believe the way we hit it off. It’s like, I’m just so happy when I’m with her. Know what I mean?” Paul leaned back, stared out the window with a smile.

“Yeah, man, that’s amazing. She’s amazing. I’m happy for you. Really. I get a good vibe from her. I think she’s pretty great. I mean, where can I find a woman like that?” I said.

“Ready?” Sophia came back into the kitchen.

“Yep. Let’s roll. See you later, bro!” Paul said and walked over to open the door.

“Mike, it was so great to meet you. I really look forward to seeing you again,” Sophia said, and took my hand in hers. She squeezed it, gently, and again our eyes connected. It felt like our bodies connected, everything connected. She held my hand a moment too long.

And then she turned and walked away.

I listened to the sound of Paul’s car pulling away, and knew I’d never get to find out if she felt what I felt when we met.

After all, she was Paul’s girl.