The Notebook

CW: Themes of obsession, stalking, sexual content and sexual violence.

June 5, 2023

There is nothing more hurtful than knowing in your very core that you are not important. To anyone. You are not special by even a degree of the word. You are not even particularly good at anything besides possibly making everyone you've ever come across flee in record time. I am such a person. I am drab, pudgy, plain and easy to forget. I am soft spoken. I cannot even fake having a sense of humor because, well I don't. Have a sense for it, that is. I have seen people, women, who walk into a room, and everyone sees them, wants to be them, wants to be friends with them. It makes me ache to witness. Don't get me wrong, I mean yes, I'm certainly jealous, but not in a mean or ugly way, I just long to have that effect on even one human. I'm Ann and I'm positively miserable.

June 21, 2023

It happened again diary. Eh I don't like that, I'm going to call you D. It happened again D. I woke up and I'm still me. So that's quite annoying. I just want it to be over but not like, I'm going to end it kind of over. Just the monotony of my days, my life, my face. Ugh. I wish I had a friend. I suppose that's what you're for. According to Dr. Forest. "Write it all down, act like it's to a dear friend, and for God's sake Ann, be HONEST." Word for word. So here we are.

Ok friend D, I woke up alone, like always, made breakfast and ate, alone, you see the pattern here? Anywhoo, I made my way to work and clocked in and found my empty cubicle and worked for 8 hours with people all around me and I didn't speak to a soul. Go me.

July 14, 2023

Dear D,

Nothing to report, same same as the last entry.

July 30, 2023

Dear D,

I got spoken to today. It was alright.

August 7, 2023

Dear D,

Ok... I might have a bit of a crush? I'm not sure why I made that into a question. She's pretty. She is one of THOSE women though, so I'm sure that she is waaaaaay outta my league. My league? Like I have a league, how laughable. Jesus Ann Shut up.

August 26, 2023

Dear D,

I saw her again. We ride the same train in the morning. Oh, D she's stunning. Absolutely draws the eye. I pretend to read my book, which I was reading before she started showing up. Now I pretend to read while I sneak looks at her. She's not always in the same car, this is twice now and I cannot contain my guts. Is this what people talk about when they say butterflies in the stomach? Haha, I always thought that they were ridiculous, and now here's me, butterflies, or something with wings anyway. Anyways D, I'll dream of her, I hope. Sweet dreams.

September 15, 2023

Dear D,

Today she was wearing a dark green dress. Which set her Red curls on absolute fire!!! OMG D, I swear I maybe drooled on my book. I flushed when she walked by me. Oh and she smelled really good of course. Ugh! She probably has a gorgeous husband and a million beautiful babies too. Kill me D. Fuck.

September 20, 2023

Dear D,

She was there again. Oh, did I mention that she's also kind? Crap! Yeah, she gave her seat to and elderly man and she stood. Her back to me. I did look at her ass. Yes, I'm guilty Dr. Forest Dammit I did! Also, glorious. I'm coming unglued here. I want to touch her hair. I want to bite her lip... Shit D, I need to go in for a session.

October 3, 2023

Dear D,

Sooooo yeah, Dr. Forest had some advice. She says that I can be obsessive and maybe I need to ride a new train for a while. I don't know, I'm bummed dude. I like her, I want to see her again. I don't know her name yet, but I can learn it, maybe I'll even ask her! Maybe I'll be bold and do it. Yes, I will. Tomorrow, if she's there, if she's not, I'll take it as a sign and I'll switch trains. Yes! I have a plan, ok here we go D! Wish me luck!

October 5, 2023

Dear D!

She WAS THERE! Her name is Rebecca! Of course it is! She's a knockout redhead, what else could it be?! Ok D, her fucking voice though, like cashmere sliding off the skin. Rich, decadent, delicious. She sat across from me today, there was an open seat next to her when a couple came on and sat way too close to me, I moved. I MOVED! Can you believe that D? Holy shit! Anyway... I said " Hey, I've seen you on here a few times girl, what's your name?" Bold as you please! And she looked up from her phone and she smiled at me. She smiled at me. Her teeth are a little crooked which I think is way better than straight. She said, " Oh hey, yeah, I have noticed you before, hi, I'm Rebecca." At this point I nearly shit my pants D, she said " She noticed me ". Oh Lord just kill me now, this is too good. Going to bed now. And just between us girls, I think I'll hold off on the sleep for a bit...

October 25, 2023

Dear D,

Ok, Dr. Forest might be right. I'm completely obsessed with this woman. I want her. I think I want to have sex with her. I think I want to own her. I think I want to fuck her and choke her and never ever let her out of my sight.

November 2, 2023

Dear D,

I'm going to do it. I'm going to take her. I don't think that I have a shot any other way, and she'll probably love it and she'll understand and she'll eventually fall for me. I got my house ready. I stopped seeing Dr. Forest. She was not helpful. She doesn't understand how Rebecca and I are soulmates. Rebecca will see it. I don't have a date yet, but I can't keep going on without her. we need to be together now. Rebecca will not want you around either. Sorry D.

"Excuse me? I found this book on the train, and I just wanted to get it to the woman who left it." A striking redhead reaches out and hands me what looks like a notebook.

"Oh darn, ok Miss, thanks for turning it in, do you know who it belongs to?"

"Yeah, she's maybe 30, quiet thing, said her name is Ann, brown hair, a little on the ummm, rounder side." She says this with a little shame, which I find endearing.

"Well alright, thanks, I'll be on the lookout for her then."

She strides away and I can't help but watch her go, ahh women like that could rule the world. I glance down at my watch and clock out with the little notebook tucked under an arm. Time to get home to my own woman who also used to draw every eye in the world. I chuckle to myself as I climb down from the conductor's seat and head to my truck to make the drive home. As I'm walking through the train station the book drops from my grip "Dammit" I say, as I scoop up the open pages. Something catches my eye, "I'm going to take her."

Curios now, I skim through and my eyes bulge. I reach into my phone and dial 911.

They caught her in time. Louis and I got the call. I prevented an abduction and probable, if what they say they found in that house was true, homicide. The Notebook had nothing on this.