New School

After her mother left, Ace sat beside Edward’s desk and waited for her guide. Five minutes later a loud thud was heard against the door on her left, leading into the school. Both Edward and Janice looked up in surprise.

“My goodness!” startled Janice, “What was that? Another bird?”

Ace stood to check what happened and found a boy in disarray on the ground, rubbing his forehead. She pushed open the door and held out a hand to him.

He looked up dazed before smiling shyly and accepting her help.

“Thanks!” he said, but instead of letting go, he began violently shaking it. His hand was sweaty. “Hi! I’m Kai. You must be Alice Quinn.”

Kai was a few inches shorter than Ace, with dark hair that fell just above his eyebrows in waves. His face was narrow and covered with freckles; his eyes were black. Kai dressed similarly to Ace’s uniform- including the shirt which hit his knees; but instead of formal shoes, he paired the outfit with thick combat boots that were most definitely against the school dress code.

“Ace,” She quickly corrected, pulling away.

Kai squatted and started collecting the notebooks and pencils that had scattered across the ground. Ace bent down to do the same. As she picked them up, she realized they weren’t homework pages, but sketches of mythological creatures and ancient heroes. When Kai saw what she was holding, his face turned red and he snatched them from her followed by a mumble of gratitude. He stuffed them into his backpack. The sound of crinkling paper made Ace twitch.

“Ace,” he repeated once he’d composed himself. “Sorry for being late.”

The conversation froze.

“Well…” He continued, “Can I see your schedule?”

She gave him the sheet and his eyes darted across the table of class numbers and last names.

“Cool! We have English together.”

“Why is that cool?” She didn’t understand. Why did that matter? Did he think they were going to talk during class?

“It means you can watch my back when I start to doze off. Mr. Richards is such a bore!”

Ace bit her lip. He was supposed to be her guide?

“I’m joking,” he clarified.

She still didn’t laugh.

“I’ll just show you where your classes are,” He turned on his heels and began the tour.

Walkways crossed in the middle of the space sectioning it off into four squares. Greenery filled the areas; in one corner, a large tree shaded a third of the yard. Surrounding the courtyard, archways boarded the scattered hallways where the classrooms resided.

“What brings you to Windsor?” Kai asked after a few minutes had passed.

Great, small talk, Ace thought.

“Windsor’s supposed to be the best, isn’t it?” She answered.

“Ya, but why’d you transfer?”

“My last school wasn’t challenging enough.”

“So, you’re smart?”

“Aren’t all the students here supposed to be?”

“That’s what the pamphlet says, but most students just come from families who can pay the private tuition.”

“Oh.”

“Not all of us are rich snobs though. Don’t worry, I can teach you how to survive at Windsor, I am your guide after all.” He flashed her a smile and straightened his back, clearly confident in his ability to do so. Ace on the other hand wasn’t sure if she should be taking advice from a kid who recently ran into a door.

“Why are you at Windsor?” She asked.

“Becasue my family can afford it, but I promise, I’m smart too- despite our first meeting,” Kai winced at the memory like the pain had resurfaced, “I’m actually on track to be our class’s valedictorian.”

Ace’s competitive spirit engulfed her, but with that, so too did an overwhelming sense of anxiety. She knew a monster lived inside of her. It told her all it wanted was the best for her, so she listened. When she didn’t, the monster tried to destroy her from the inside out. Being valedictorian meant more and better opportunities for the future; but she would have to catch up, and that seemed impossible with the school year already being halfway over.

Kai continued the tour, Ace falling a few steps behind. Her head was swimming and crumbling with plans that were humanly impossible.

“What about electives?” She suddenly asked, making Kai jump.

“Oh, um… There are flyers around school. I’m sure you can also look at the school’s website- it should have some information.”

Ace nodded, adding that to her growing list of things to do.

Eventually, Kai stopped at a door and opened it for her, “Well, here’s your first class.”

Had they already finished the tour? Ace knew she wouldn’t be able to trace their steps; she wasn’t sure if she would be able to find her next class. Her anxiety only increased. She was already failing. Maybe she wasn’t good enough for Windsor? No, she had to be. She wouldn’t allow herself to be a failure.

“Ace?” Kai looked at her puzzled.

“Thank you,” was all she said before ducking into the classroom.

The space reminded her of a dungeon: plain, grey stone walls with little lighting. What light was able to enter the room came from the grand windows that lined one side of the wall. Desks were placed in strict rows, some already filled by students awaiting the teacher who couldn’t be found. Ace took a seat in the middle of the room. It wasn’t in the back so it didn’t appear like she was trying to hide- no matter how much she wanted to; but it wasn’t in the front where she would stand out and make fellow peers see her as a teacher’s pet. Ace just wanted to fit in, blend in.

But would that earn her valedictorian?

Ace picked up her things and carried them to a seat in the first row. If she wanted to be awarded top student, her teachers would need to recognize her, know her work, and see that she deserved the title.

More desks were filled as the clock hands ticked closer to the start of class. When the bell rang, a woman, who was clearly the professor, fanned a few dawdling students into the room. She set her brief case on the old desk at the front of the room and began unpacking materials. She wore thin heels, dress pants, a white blouse and a scarf tied neatly around her neck. Her orange hair flowed in long waves and her round classes made her eyes look huge.

“Hello class,” she said.

“Hello Mrs. Emerson,” the class harmonized back.

“Today we will be continuing our lesson on multivariable calculus, so open your notes and turn to page 534 in your textbooks.”

Ace hadn’t had time to get her books, but she pulled out a notebook and tried to keep her hand from shaking. She tried to copy the words already scribed in chalk. Compared to Mrs. Emerson’s elegant cursive, her page was covered in chicken scratch.

“Where’s your textbook?”

Ace’s stomach plummeted into the dark abyss as she looked up and found Mrs. Emerson staring at her.

“I’m new here,” she tried to explain.

“You can share Anna-Marie’s book for now; but when you find the time, I would like you to acquire your own from the library.” She gestured to the girl sitting next to her.

“Yes, Mrs. Emerson,” Ace replied.

Anna-Marie did not look like her name- she looked like she was trying to rebel against it. She remained Ace of the kids who tried to cast curses on the teachers next to the dumpsters at Hamilton. The girl’s front strands of hair and underneath was dyed white while the rest of it was dark brown. She wore dark makeup which included a midnight liner that winged an inch past her eye. Ace could also see the hint of a choker beneath her school collar.

Anna-Marie slid her book over after Ace pushed their desks together. The screeching from the legs against the stone floor made Ace wince and want to hide. She felt her face redden.

Ace followed the instructions and stared at words that read like Shakespeare. The teacher began writing equations on the board and the students around her dipped their heads to start copying it down. She tried to follow, but everything was moving too fast. It felt as if she was lost and trying to find her way back with only half of the directions. She thought about raising her hand, but the teacher left no room to do so. It was clear everyone was meant to already understand what was happening. Ace toughed it out, she could figure it out on her own. Over the course of the lesson, Ace began finding patterns. With multiple examples, she could see reasoning in the equations.

Finally, the bell rang and students began leaving the room. As Ace was collecting her things, Mrs. Emerson called her over.

“Alice Quinn?”

“It’s just Ace,” Ace told her, but bit her lip after the correction. It had caused her teachers at Hamilton to find her annoying and rude. She didn’t want Windsor to be the same.

“Ace, I need to discuss your makeup work.”

She nodded and glanced at the syllabus that Mrs. Emerson was showing her.

“We have a test next week that goes over the entire chapter we’ve been discussing. By that time, I would like you to have completed all the homework assignments for this chapter so you don’t fall behind. I know it's a lot, but if you section out your time responsibly, then there should be no problems. If you have any questions you can come into my classroom during lunch.” Ace took notes of the page numbers before leaving for her next class.

By the time lunch arrived, Ace had fifteen chapters to read, six for math, four for biology, five for history; On top of that she needed to complete assignments that went along with each of the chapters. This included the vocab lists she needed to memorize for French class. Furthermore, Ace had three tests next week she needed to study for. She had gone to the library and now her backpack felt like she was carrying a giant boulder. She wondered if this was how Atlas or Sisyphus felt. Her head was spinning with all the work she had to get done; so much so she nearly missed the hand waving in her face.

“Ace! Hey!”

She blinked, pulled out of the hazy maze.

Kai fell into step beside her, “Want to sit together? I can introduce you to my friends.”

Kai pointed to a table where two students sat talking enthusiastically. They appeared to be debating something- Ace longed to join. Then one of them threw a fry at the other who laughed and Ace was disgusted.

“I have work to do,” she told Kai.

“Oh,” the cheerfulness in his tone faltered, “Ok. I’ll- I’ll see you in English then, ya?”

“One o’clock with Mr. Rodgers,” Ace said, stapling the number to her brain.

“Mr. Richards,” Kai corrected.

“Right.” Focus Ace, she scolded herself, “I’ll see you then.”

Ace found a table in the corner of the room hoping no one would bother her. She cracked open the first book and drowned herself in the words.

When Ace walked into Mr. Richard's class, Kai pointed a pencil at the desk next to him. She complied and slid into the seat. It was the nice thing to do after refusing his earlier offer. Ace had been told she needed to work on that: being nice. She hadn’t yet figured out why it was more important than stating the truth. She didn’t like not understanding something, so she needed to test it out.

“I just wanted to let you know that if you need any help with the homework-”

“I’m fine,” Ace told him. If she wanted to be valedictorian, she couldn’t allow her opponent to help her get there- it would only prove why he deserved the spot more than her. Could she even trust him to help her? To be fair, he didn’t know they were in competition. Ace concluded that she needed to focus on catching up in order to then exceed her peers.

“Are you fine?” Kai asked.

The directness of the question startled Ace. Maybe she didn’t actually like the truth as much as she thought she did.

“Ya.” At least, she eventually would be- she just had to get over a few obstacles first. Kai didn’t seem convinced, but he dropped the conversation.

After Mr. Richard's class, Ace trudged up a spiral staircase to the top of a tower where her next class took place. Anxiety coiled like snakes in the pit of her stomach, already dreading what was to come. When she walked through the door, her peers had already changed into tights, leotards, and tutus stared at her in confusion and curiosity. Ace had been forced to join dance for her elective. Not just dance, but ballet. She didn’t know how this happened, but she wouldn’t be here long; she could go back to the school’s office and ask for a schedule change.

Ace stood in the doorframe waiting for some sort of direction.

“You must be Alice,” said Miss Darling. Throwing her hands in the air, “The changing rooms are over there. You were provided clothes, yes?”

She corrected Miss Darling.

“What a cute nickname,” said Windsor’s dance teacher, “Now that we’ve got introductions out of the way, go change and come back when you’re ready.”

Ace listened and came back out feeling completely uncomfortable. She wasn’t naked, but she was basically in a bathing suit. Bathing suits were meant for the beach, not school. She wanted to be back in the familiarity of her uniform.

Once Ace got in line with the other students, class began with the clap of Miss Darling’s hands.

The teacher led them through stretches before bounding into a short routine. They practiced leaps and twirls across the room making Ace feel even more embarrassed than she did in Mrs. Emerson’s class. It didn’t help that Miss Darling was criticizing her the entire time. She tried to be nice, but it all sounded the same to Ace.

The teacher said, “Ace, dear, you need to relax. You’re too stiff.”

You’re wrong

You’re messing up

You’re not good enough

Be better

You need to be perfect

Ace tried to push herself, she tried to follow the other students, but that only led to her making a costly miscalculation. During a leap, Ace fell on her ankle, causing her to collapse in front of the whole class. A sharp pain shot up her leg, springing tears in her eyes. She would not let herself cry. Everyone crowded around her, making her want to curl up into a ball and die. Miss Darling held out her hands to Ace and helped her hobble across the room before sitting her in the corner. She was given a bag of ice to press on the injury.

After changing back into her uniform, for the rest of the class, Ace found comfort in what she knew best- studying. She tried to ignore the monster roaring in her head- telling her she wasn’t good enough.

At the final bell, Ace and the rest of Windsor’s students were released. Miss Darling asked if she needed help getting down the stairs, but Ace insisted that she was fine. She held onto the railing, each step sending bolts of pain through her body. She stifled the whimpers that tried to escape. She couldn’t be seen as pathetic, weakness wouldn’t survive at Windsor.

She waited at the curb for her mother. Opening her phone she saw a text.

I’m so sorry, honey. I’m going to be a few minutes late.

Ace shut off her phone, took a seat on the stone round in front of the school, and pulled out a few of her textbooks.

“How was your first day?” Kai asked.

“Fine,” Ace said.

Kai bobbed his head, kicking at the dust on the ground before brushing it off of his skirt, “I understand. Sorry, I’ll leave you alone.”

Ace turned back to her book, but she could no longer focus.

She was being mean. He didn’t deserve her bite. The whole day he was trying to be kind to her. It wasn’t fair- that, she understood. She shut her book.

“I plan on being valedictorian,” she spluttered.

Kai turned back around, his eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Oh,” he said, “Does that make us nemesis?”

Ace pondered, “I guess it does.”

Kai smirked but it quickly morphed into shock at the sound of a sudden honk, pulling both of their attention towards an expensive white sports car.

“My sister,” Kai supplied.

“Oh.”

“So long, my new nemesis,” he said, and bowed before saluting and walking away.

Ace rolled her eyes, but smiled.

“I saw that!” he called and she found him smiling back at her.

A few minutes later, her mom’s minivan came speeding around the corner and Ace slid into the passenger seat. She laid her book open in her lap and continued to read.

“How was school?” her mother asked.

“It was fine,” she repeated. The word was a lie, but it was safe and she thought it would give her mother some ease. This was only her first day; but looking at what lay ahead of her only caused dread to stir in her stomach. She shoved it down. Letting it consume her would only allow her emotions to win. She needed to stay in control. Ace didn’t want to know what would happen if she allowed them to escape. She was afraid of the monster that was lying in wait for her to make another mistake. Another mistake and the monster could be unleashed. Ace wouldn’t allow that to happen. She would put in the work and she would prove to everyone that she was good enough.