Best Friends Forever

The final warning bell echoed throughout the hall. But everyone was in no hurry to class, after all, the teachers had given up by the last day of the school year. I strolled into my science class as my teacher set up a movie for us to take it easy on the last day after a year of supposed hard work. If only I could take it easy. My mind wandered to Sadie. I started to feel my heart thumping in my chest as my head started to ache, prompting me to put my head down. I clutched my purple friendship bracelet in my palm.

 Sadie. My “best friend”.

It was early October when my trio with Sadie and Amara had formed. We all had settled well into the new school year by then as juniors. I had known Sadie since the third grade, and we had been close ever since. We coincidentally had several classes together though middle school. During Freshman year we even considered each other best friends as we gave each other these childish BFF bracelets. I had known Amara before as an acquaintance, but she also became friends with Sadie as they had science class together this year. After hanging out with each other as a group, it became routine to talk to each other about our new teachers and annoying assignments. Little did I know that this friendship would be the biggest test I would face during junior year. 

Everyday at the end of school we would meet up before we split to our buses. I waited by the art hallway, which we claimed as our spot. Sadie and Amara came over and we started to talk about chemistry. I mentioned how complicated my teacher made our polarization lesson. Suddenly Sadie and Amara hushed and eyed each other. They both burst into hysterical laughter that lasted for who knows how long. I stood there awkwardly for some time and faked a chuckle.

“Wow! What’s so funny?” I asked curiously.

“Oh, I don’t think I told Lia about this yet,” Amara said.

“Girl, why are you laughing you weren’t even there," Sadie replied, quieting down. “ Yeah, It’s just an inside joke from class the other day.”

I shrugged it off and we said our goodbyes to head on to our buses. At the time I was just intrigued by their inside joke , but I started to feel more uncomfortable as similar incidents would happen again and again, until I just stopped asking.

My friends and I decided to join a school club for service hours during December. It would be a win-win situation, we got volunteer service hours and we would enjoy some time together. In the first meeting, we were introduced to the board who assigned our first project, making cards for seniors at retirement homes. But every time I tried to get something or help, I was shot with “Lia, you’re so dumb not that one!” or “Don’t be stupid, Lia” from Sadie. I classified this as friendly teasing, but each of those remarks felt like a steaming hot bullet piercing through my chest right into my bloody heart. Of course, the mask on my face hid the pain. Instead of going to the meetings every Tuesday I found myself texting the group chat a flimsy excuse.

In the Spring, our buses started to drop us off ten minutes early, so my friends and I met up at our spot to kill some time before class. One peculiar morning we were all in the bathroom fixing our hair or touching up.

Looking into the mirror, Sadie abruptly asks with a smile, “Pop Quiz! Who’s best friend am I? Here’s a hint, it's only one person”.

Amara and I look at each other. Amara had known that I was very close with Sadie for a long time, and she genuinely did not feel like Sadie’s best friend. She looked as shocked as I was. Why would she even ask that? 

I laughed nervously and said “Stop trying to stir up drama, Sadie.”

We left the bathroom like nothing happened and hung out near our spot where we debriefed about upcoming tests and homework. Sadie and Amara started gossiping about a girl in their class, named Lizzy. Hate on hate. They picked her apart like vultures scavenging on a carcass. I loathed rumors and backbiting. I just smiled a plastered grin and pretended to listen to their complaints while I really felt like peeling off my skin until there was nothing left. Worst of all, Lizzy passed by us in the hallway, and Sadie waved to her with a cheshire smile. 

These instances kept piling on top of each other until I couldn’t keep ignoring them. But the truth was, I myself was afraid of conflict and confrontation. I never have had a long lasting friendship as I had with Sadie, and I was always hard to get to know by others. I did not mention the sweet memories I had with Sadie, throughout this year as well. While these uncomfortable occurrences would happen, they were also blended with relatable conversations, funny jokes, and talks about our shared past. This medley of memories made it hard for me to speak up. But today, the last day, was when I was going to end this masquerade. I will put an end to this toxic friendship, even if it is my best friend.

My head still ached as I imagined my confrontation with Sadie. The booming noises from the movie made it worse. But I had to convince myself that confronting Sadie was the right thing to do, so that I wouldn’t chicken out, as always do. 

After several grueling hours, I was in my last class, English. I stared at the clock as I bounced my leg on the floor. A part of me wanted time to freeze. With each second, the pit in my stomach dug deeper and deeper, a shovel digging my own grave. Finally, The last bell of the year rang, and the fuse of my timebomb I planned burnt out. 

Rushing out of class, I shoved through students running in the hallways to get a whiff of summer break. It felt as if I was walking against a sea of students, pushing me to turn around. I stumbled to their spot where Sadie and Amara were. With my bracelet in hand, I start to remember all those painful moments that left me singled out, isolated, all alone. My anger awakened and spread like wildfire. I head towards Sadie, pulling her aside.

“I am done with you Sadie. I am fed up with your name-calling, your secrets with Amara, and your vicious slanders. I will miss our memories together, but I will not miss feeling as alone as you made me feel, I exclaimed. “Take your bracelet, or throw it out. Our friendship is over.”

Her eyes widened with surprise and she was left speechless. Her eye contact paralyzed me, but my happy mask was replaced with my furious expression. Reading her expression, she may have also been hurt. But,iIn a few seconds, all she replied with was “whatever”. I felt tears welling up in my eyes so I turned around and said my last good riddance. 

Now on the bus, I can’t help but worry about senior year. Suddenly I get a text from Amara, apologizing to me for what they had done. I like the message and turn my head towards the window. The grief of losing my best friend still stung. But, I do not regret it. The bracelet is gone, and the bridge between us can never be fixed again.