"Mug and bean,so let me spill the beans"

To team coffee or tea, not to be a downer or anything but I always thought coffee was for older individuals (elders) and my idea of grabbing a coffee was when am preparing if for my dad or grandma but as time goes by I found myself enjoying it especially in a rainy day while reading a book of one of my favorite authors, however I recently found myself traveling to Varsity to prepare for my registration in a rainy day that caught me off guard and I had no coffee to warm myself not to mention having a book to read.

Truth of the matter is it was just not my day, on my way to the bus station, I was stuck in traffic and I arrived late as we had to take another route which dropped me off from a distance and now I was rushing, running to catch the bus, my flip flops were damaged not that I am complaining because they were in a bad shape, you know fixing them with a wire (Bob the wire) and before u like you should wear sneakers I don't own a pair, imagine I haven't been able to complete my degree so I was on 2 year gap year, battling some mental, emotional and spiritual attacks while busy with appeals (lost almost everything external) and not to scare you or anything but I am still coping as it is.

So here I was running on wet socks in the rain and yes feeling embarrassed, if you could have seen the people in the bus when I was entering laughing but it didn't really matter because I dealt with mockery, humiliation, rejection, aboundment from the people and systems meant to protect me.

Yeah I know a rainy day can be off-putting not to mention the judgments. Lucky enough our first stop was by the garage were mug and bean cafe was located so I said to myself a muffin and a cup of coffee was an ideal situation, spending the little that I had at the time but if your someone like me who believe in self development it's kinda hard to wanna neglect yourself to save a penny, now don't get me wrong am not from a rich background, I only had R250 that my father manage to conjure up last minute which was now reduce because of a taxi fare to reach the bus, well I was fortunate enough because he manage to book the bus ticket early last year (2025) he is a pastor so the church sometimes assist and we don't even own a fridge so we eat day by day even chose to fast when we were out of food.

I was unable to get a job so resulting to illegal activities was also not an option especially when you want to pursue a career and battling with mental health and also trying my spiritual journey by exposing myself to seed retention (celibacy) you know tackling generational curses, you can't just break branches but have to aim for the roots, including everything from teenage pregnancy towards dysfunctional family dynamics etc.

it was taking a toll on me, the only hope I had was retrieving my deposit money that I had left in 2023 to try to use it to buy myself food and probably pay for admin fee to an accomodation, well it's true that God works in mysterious ways because the last money I had that was now going to the cafe for coffee led me to an interesting conversation with one of the student in the bus who was trying to get a coffee to clear his mind since he was on his way back to campus to write his reassessment, that coffee leaded us to share not only a moment but the trip together, when we reached our bus stop it was already dark at night mind dew I have to no cash trying to buy airtime to contact my back then agent to inquire about a place to sleep as she promised, she had nothing!

because the one she was hoping for haven't arrived yet and they didn't left the keys, so now I was standing there contemplating as to where I should go likely enough he was there trying to reach his classmates to help him to spend a night because it's late and he must write tomorrow, few calls were made that left a bitter taste to the mouth but all hope was not lost he managed to get one and we both contributed to take a meter taxi because it was far, we reach the place and the fellow friend welcomed us as to spend a night and we were safe.

In the morning we went to campus he was on his way to prepare for his reassessment while I was going to enquire about my registration as I was set to talk to the academic advisor, we arrived on Wednesday night and now it was Thursday morning, my academic advisor told me that my issue will be fixed on Monday but I consistently went to check on Friday, Monday again till Friday, on the other hand my agent is still searching for a place to put me in, nothing!

So my friend that I met in the cafe was done writing booked a ticket went back home, now am left with the one who offered us a place to stay, he was wonderful (a miracle) because not only did he offered a place but food as well, day by day, we even started to pray together I spend a whole week with him while busy trying to retrieve my deposit, if I tell you I got my deposit to fix my phone that was a gift to begin with, was now another problem that came up in the middle of everything and now I had R3820 in my account that is to cover the cost meanwhile I don't have food, a place to rent because I have to register first which might be a problem because I haven't received any news from bursaries I applied for and also no clothes.

As am writing this story typing with my phone am trying to take from the little that I have to take chances with this contest, never intended to enter it like this but what can I say, no risk no reward and we live and we learn hoping for the best.

I am still not registered but am in an emergency place that am renting and i received a discount which terminate on Monday not to mention whether I can still measure up but I have faith and a new friend.

I have grown a lot as an individual especially since I embarked on my self discovery which isolated me and i can say I am still trying to push against the current leaving the lack mindset to a growth mindset, from being a victim of circumstances to an active participant of changing my life, striving towards finding balance in all aspect of my life mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically as I know healing myself is in fact healing the universe because I have been able to begin healing my trauma, negative projections, limitations and most important my heart,

haven't been in a relationship for almost two years and putting my trust in the lord going through this journey step by step (heart surgery) striving towards creating an environment built in love, trust, empathy and compassion and as my studies goes becoming the best teacher , one who is able to learn, teach , inspire, motivate most important bring hope, so when your reading this the aim is to give you a smile that not everyone want others to feel the pain and betrayal inflicted to them but inspire to create change and make sure that others don't cry and carry their load alone.