The 10K at the End of the World or: The Incident in Salinas

“...BILLIONS WILL DIE FROM ASTEROID ‘2156 KATE’ IN 2026…”

“...SURVIVORS WILL ABANDON THE SURFACE OF THE EARTH AND LIVE UNDERGROUND…”

“...THE WORLD ABOVE US WILL BELONG TO THE DOGS AND CATS…”

An excerpt from interviews with a manic depressive, possibly paranoid schizophrenic, January 13th, 2018 - Salinas County Gazette

The detective was sweating under the lights in my room. It was designed to make me sweat but I was perfectly fine. The noise from the heater filled the room, though. I was very confused at first. “So six years ago, you met this mystery woman who you say opened a portal in your room, walked through it, and then disappeared?”

“Yeah, and then last night I saw her again while on my run.”

The detective raises a bony finger at me motioning to stop talking for a minute. He flips through his manila folder and pulls up a drab flyer and holds it up to my face.

“Did you write this? “Run Your last 10k at the end of the world’”, he reads the text but then he flips it back to himself and admires my drawing.

“Yes, I figured people could go out with a bang, you know?”

“And then? What happened out there?”

“There was no one there at the start. Not a soul. So I just ran it myself. No one believed me when I predicted the asteroid would deviate from its thousand year course. “

“How did you know 2156 would deviate and set a new course towards Salinas?” he asked, wiping his brow.

“It was something I saw in a dream.”

“Uh, huh. But you put this out all over the internet and you got everything right except for the absolutely last second!" The detective was wet by now. Seriously, sweaty all over himself. Was he afraid of me?

“I don't know and then I remembered that gorgeous blonde and thought maybe she would show up!”

“So, you’re running alone on this stupid 10k thing out in the farms…what happens next?” he asks.

“So, I’m running this thing, knowing full well that the rock above us is so close now that it is brighter than the sun. I’m feeling good about dying, you know? I want this. And I'm running along the path that skirts the ocean, past the old farm when suddenly the sky breaks above me and all around me. And now the ground shakes! It was like a million suns cracking and screaming at me. I knew it was heading directly to this farm. 2156 Kate was a poetic ending to what I felt was a perfect ending to my experience with a girl named Katie that I met 6 years ago. Suddenly, something inside me told me to run across the barren field. I’m running and tripping over ridges and furrows or dirt as that rock barrels towards us, and I am ready, boss I am dead already.”

“Yeah, but that didn’t happen exactly. Go on.”

“As I’m running across this field, ahead of me a bright red/orange circle of light appears right in front of me. I thought it would burn me if I got anywhere near it. Inside this circle was a black circle of nothing so I stop running immediately. I know exactly what this is. But before I can gather my thoughts, here comes the prettiest girl, again, that I’ve ever seen. This time shes running straight out of that black hole inside the circle of light and she’s carrying that dumb tote bag again as she had the last time I met her six years ago. She ran right past me.”

“The portal you mentioned last time?” he asks anxiously.

“Yes, and she completely ignores me until I turn around, look back at her as she’s running away from me and yell ‘Hey!’ She then turns around and smiles.”

“Smiles?”

“Yeah. Well, more like a smirk, but yeah she’s then on her knees opening up that tote bag and taking out all manner of metal objects from that bag. She’s got one knee down on that field, going through her tote and taking out pieces of a weapon. She kept looking back at me and then back at the asteroid. I said ‘Katie?’ and she said the worst thing I’ve ever heard in my life!”

“What did she say?”

“She goes ‘Hey hun! How’ve you been’? as she’s putting this gadget together like it was something she’s done many times. She kept looking at me while she built this gun or rifle or whatever it was. And then she asks me ‘You look cute baby!’”

“So you do know her!” yells the detective.

“I don’t think I would ever know this broad but she knew me right away. So I say ‘Babe? I barely know you’”

“Honey! Are you mad at me again? ”She's still working on this device, lots of clicking and clacking with metal and plastic out of her tote bag with that California bear on it. Anyways, she’s focusing on me, then back at this machine she’s building, and then then looking up at the asteroid. “Gimme a minute, hun. Don’t go anywhere, mister.”

“Ok,” I say dumbfounded.

She then finishes her build of this gizmo which turns out is a fucking bazooka and she points it straight at the asteroid. “Look at me with this gadget, hun! Baby, watch this!”

Katie blasts this machine straight at the asteroid and….after a few minutes, the rocket she fires at 2156 Kate reaches its target. That thing that mattered to everyone suddenly didn’t matter. We were back where we started. It was blasted out of the sky. In fact, the sky was filled with tiny rocks burning up in the atmosphere. Best lightshow we’ve all seen.

The detective looks at me, looks at the flyer, wipes his brow again and looks me straight in my fucking eyes. “And then what happened?”

Katie turned over to me and smiled. She was so proud of this but she’s now deconstructing this bazooka thing. “Hey, mister. It’s been awhile. You wanna come with me?” The tote bag is full now but she is now taking that gizmo gun I saw her use 6 years ago and points it to the ground. And now the ground is shaking. I remember this part but now, there is a black hole in the place she pointed this gizmo and she reaches out her hand: “Do you trust me, babe?”

“Wait, Charlie, what happened? What did you say?” the detective says, now fully gathering the gravity of this whole thing.

“Katie reached out her hand and before she could finish her sentence I said ‘Fuck yes’ and we went down into the portal.”

“You’re not Charlie, are you?” says the pig detective with his sweat and stink.

“No I am not.” I say smirking.

“Who are you?”

At this point, the audio drops and becomes impossible for the court reporter to transcribe. End of tape 2.