The Trading Catastrophe

Author's note: "Market" - a special market where secret organizations trade or barter with each other

Market Councillors - organize and manage the market 

“Hi, this is Tony Smith. I am part of a secret organization called I.N.T.E.N.S.E. The full form of I.N.T.E.N.S.E is ‘Villains International Trading of Evil things for Evil’. I do not like the name, but I did not make the name. I ha-” 

“Wait, Mr. Smith. I need to show the council something better than what you are going to show. Hello, this is doctor Trey Matthew from V.I.T.R.I.F.Y. It is well known. So ... I have a very spe-”

“Sorry to interrupt you both, but I need to leave.”

“But you’re one of the councilors! You can’t leave! This is a very important meeting! We need to show you the things we have to trade! And we are not allowed to trade without all of the councilors!”

“I have gotten a very urgent call, so I need to leave! Will you please understand?!”

“No, I will not! You have to stay!” 

“I am leaving! Hellen, substitute for me.”

“Ok, I will sir.”

“So, as I was saying, I have a very special artifact that everyone has been looking for. It is the Kohinoor Diamond. It will be exchanged for whatever I will like the most from the other traders.”

“Okay, so this is Tony Smith again, and I have something as good as that. Maybe better. Many people would like it … I am sure of that. I have the map to … The Lost City of Atlantis! I will see what the other traders have; then I will see what I want for this. The next person can show us what they have.”

“Hello, this is Lucas Titiny. I’m from I.N.S.T.I.N.C.T. I’m also an instructor of the most famous villain trading school, V.T.S. I have made 2 new things I would like to share with only you. It is The Minimizer 2000! Look, It even works.”

ZZAAPPP!!

“See, it works. You can use it to make a bank small, and other stuff. It’s good. The other thing is The Gravity Hook. You can see what it does with your own eyes.”

ZZZZZZZZZZAAAAPP!

“See. You can take all the jewelry and money and stuff from the bank. All I want for this is that. The map to Atlantis. That’s all I want.”

“Hello, my name is Lexi Rodriguez, and I have something that Mr. Titiny will really like. I have a coat. But not just any coat! Look at it! It has so many pockets and straps to put gadgets. And, it comes with a LOT of gadgets. Like this gun, and the lipstick laser. Ok, c’mon, please! Just gimme that. Yeah, that. The Minimizer 2000.”

“Ha, got it! Oh no, I gotta run! See ya!”

“Catch her! I want my Minimizer back!”

“Yes, I got her! HAHA! You’re going to I.N.S.T.I.N.C.T’s jail now, little girl. And you won’t like it there. Take her away!”

“Ok, NEXT! Ah, yes Ronald Werter from V.E.R.D.I.CT! Your turn.”

“So umm, you already know my uhh, name, and where I’m from. Well, uh, I have something to show to you, er, right now. I umm, have a, um, Gunenator. It makes, uh, well, anything you shoot with this will, uh, um, make it a gun. So basically, um, yeah. That’s what it, um, does. Yeah. Ok, anyone can, er, take this. For whatever you have to, um, give me. I, uh, also have another, er, thing. It is called the, uh, the Ammonator 2000. When you, um, shoot, it makes any, uh, random thing, er, turn into, uh, ammo for guns. Wait, er, was I the, um, last one?”

“Yes, you were. Ok, it’s now break time! You can do whatever you ‘til 11:30, which gives you a lot of time to eat. And also give us the things that you’re going to trade. See ya!”

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“Welcome back everyone. We have to go to some other place for the trading part, so please follow the other councilors, Oliver and Antonia. They both are at the exits of the room. Councillors, please accompany the traders. Thank you.”

“Nice ride, right Lucas? Looks high tech!”

“Uh-huh. Yeah, Tony. But I dunno if it’s a limo or a van.”

“Yep. I think it’s a van though. Look at the tires.”

“Oh, yeah! I guess it is.”

“Everyone get in the car! QUICK! They’re coming! THE POLICE!!”

“WHAA’! Get out your GUNS! Wait. Does everyone have guns?”

“Not me.”

“Not me.”

“Ok, get in the van, everyone who doesn’t have guns; and the people who do, start shooting! Oh yeah, Mr. Werter, give me your Gunenator. QUICK! I’ll shoot now.”

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWPPPP!

“Take this Councillor Antonia. I’ll shoot again.”

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWPPPP!

ZZZZZZZZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWP!

“Take these Councillors. Now please SHOOT! Everyone has a gun now?”

“No.”

“No.”

“No.”

“No.”

“No.”

“No.”

“Oh, man! Uh, everyone who doesn’t have a gun, follow me into the van. Quick! Everyone who does have a gun with ammo, SHOOT THE POLICE! You, give me that trash can! I’m gonna shoot the stuff inside it to make guns.”

ZZZZZZZZZZZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWPP!

ZZZZZZZZZZEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWPPPPPP!

ZZZZEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWPPPPP! 

ZZZZZZZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWPPPPPP!

ZZZZZZEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWP!

ZZZZZZZZEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWPP!

ZZZZZZZZZZEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWPPP!

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWPPPP!

“Done. Take these and shoot the police! We will definitely win against them! We have a lot of people from different evil companies! And we have good shooters! C’mon and be a man … or a woman. Whatever you are! Never give up! Keep going ‘til you die! What’s our motto?!”

“REH MIGHQU' QA'!”

“EVIL WILL ALWAYS WIN!”

“Yeah! Now SHOOT!”

“Uh oh. I don’t have ammo!”

“Me neither!”

“Me neither!”

“Me neither!”

“Here! Take some!”

“Good. I won’t have to, uh, give my, um, Ammonator 2000 now. Oh, wait, uh, I, er, forgot to take the Gunenator back. I’ll just, er, stealthily take it.”

“Got it! Yes!”

“Hey! You! Mr. Werter! Why aren’t you fighting?”

“I, uh, don’t know how to. I’m only an, um, an inventor. I do not know how to, er, hold a gun.”

“Oh. Ok. Go on with whatever you’re doing.”

 “Yes, um.”

“I got, er, I got it, uh, it back! Yes! Good me, good me. I need to, er, go home. Oh, no! I, um, cannot! I have to, uh trade. I have to, er, um, stay! Fine.”

“Yes! We’re winning! See! REH MIGHQU' QA'! NO! Man down! I repeat, man down! No! NO! We’re losing!”

“Ha! We are winning! Without losing or injuring most of the officers! What’s our motto?!”

“WO' QEYLIS HOCH!”

“EVIL WILL ALWAYS LOSE!”

“Yeah! And look at that! People with bad spirits will always lose! Keep shooting!”

“We WIN! We win! The evil guys lost!”

“Yeah!”

“Yes! Let’s get back home and tell the chief.”