Herbert

Herbert poured the vitamin C powder into the glass of water and watched as it fizzed and slowly began to dissolve. His mind began to wander; his eyes fixated on the image of the tiny colored crystals bouncing and bubbling in the glass, so much so that he failed to notice the door creak open. A pair of eyes familiar to him peered through, then closed the door and disappeared.Herbert missed it, his head was completely congested from the cold he had picked up at the park. He brought it home with him and infected the whole household.His roommates were asleep, also sick.His girlfriend of two years was drifting in and out of consciousness on the couch in front of the TV which was turned down so low it was almost impossible to hear. This always annoyed Herbert, he would have liked to watch TV had she not been sleeping there.

He thought about the park, playing tennis with Sheila, drinking from the fountain; that’s what did it, he was sure. The day was perfect. They had started with a friendly match, then stopped for his favorite breakfast at the Coffee Shop. He was slightly hung over, just enough to feel dehydrated, but otherwise fine. The trip to the park seemed like a good way to enjoy the sun and get past the mild effects of the previous evening. Sheila was particularly cheerful that day, not her usual self, she wasn’t angry at Herbert that day. She had been very happy and after their breakfast burritos they wandered around the little town stopping into the thrift store to browse for treasure.

The antique looking gold and ruby ring was a surprise find. It looked like real gold and maybe a real ruby. They bought it and Sheila put it on at the counter before they walked out. They talked about the ring on the way home wondering if it was an heirloom or just a piece of costume jewelry. When they arrived back at the house the roommates were nowhere to be found. A note on the counter stated, ‘out for the day back late’. Excited they rushed to the bedroom and spent the rest of the afternoon locked in.They were unclothed and writhing in a heightened state of ecstasy for hours. Somehow the perfect morning had improved not only Sheila’s mood but also her enthusiasm for Herbert. Herbert was over the moon about it. It was quite possibly the best day of their two years together.

In the morning however, things were different. Sheila went back to being moody, Herbert started to sniffle, the roommates complained because of the abandoned dishes from the day before in the sink. A couple of water glasses, a pizza box (they were having too much fun to stop and cook), two plates and a couple of crumpled up napkins were hardly worth complaining about. Shelda had washed the four dishes and taken the pizza box out to the trash. She was mostly quiet about it but her girlfriend Zena was (as usual) compelled to point it out.Herbert apologized, poured himself a glass of water added some Vitamin C powder and went back to bed. He had a headache and the whinging of Zena wasn’t in his schedule today. By the end of the day everyone in the house was sick. Even Zach, Zenas deadbeat twin brother, who had been “just visiting” long past the expiration date. He would come up for breakfast every morning, which Shelda cooked for him. Then back to the basement till the next day when he would bring back the dishes for Shelda to wash.

Herbert finished his glass of vitamin c water and headed into the bedroom to go back to sleep. He ignored Sheila on the couch. She was especially out of it and he didn’t like having her in the room with him when she was in a sour mood. He could literally feel her anger towards him through his skin.

“Is it now?” A loud booming voice startled him awake and he looked around the room completely out of it.Nothing, it was completely dark.

That happened sometimes, he would swear he heard a loud noise or talking and wake up to nothing there.Not like a dream, it was always outside of his dream. It was always in the room just slightly away from him but when he would get up and look around there would be nothing. No TV on, no roommates awake, no lights even. Just the usual silence of the house before dawn.

Herbert lay back down but couldn’t fall asleep right away. The sound had surprised him and his heart was pounding in his chest. He tried to listen carefully but the sound of blood rushing through his head seemed extremely loud. He lay there thinking, trying to calm his mind, and that is when he noticed the clock. After staring at it for at least several minutes, it failed to change its time.He rolled away to see if Sheila had come back to bed, but she wasn’t there. The clock said 3:32 am, it was getting light out so he knew that couldn’t be right. He looked out of the window at the warm glow on the horizon and back at the clock. It said 7:32 pm. Harold blinked. He rubbed his eyes; they were fuzzy so he thought maybe he hadn’t seen it correctly.

Herbert got up and walked out of the bedroom heading to the kitchen and there was Shelda, washing dishes, a pizza box on top of the counter. Zena gave Herbert the stink eye and then went upstairs to their room.

“Feeling better?”Shelda was kind and concerned, but she had asked him that yesterday morning so Herbert deduced she wasn’t trying to engage much.

Herbert assessed himself and the room. He shook his head at Shelda, he seemed the same as yesterday, still sick, not better or worse, the same. Sheila was on the couch. She often stayed on the couch when she was in one of her moods. Apparently she was still in a mood, she was also still asleep.

“I’m sick!” Zach came up from the basement and declared for everyone.

“Still not well? I can’t seem to shake this thing either” Herbert felt a sense of déjà vu.

Herbert returned to the bedroom deciding that sleep was the best medicine for a cold. It was Sunday, or was it Monday? Now he wasn’t sure. They had played tennis on Saturday. Sunday Zena was fussed about the dishes, and so today must be Monday. Herbert checked his phone, no, it was Sunday, but was it 7:32 am still? Maybe it was actually pm? that happened sometimes when you were sick and slept for a full day you would wake up and not know weather it was dawn or dusk, but the pizza box…

Herbert went back to bed looking at the clock again. It was clear now, it read 9:32 pm. Surely the clock was broken, he looked again, 7:32 am. Probably needed a new battery, he went back out into the living room and looked at Sheila on the couch, still in a deep sleep. He walked into the kitchen to look for batteries in the junk drawer.

“Feeling better?”Shelda was kind and concerned, but she had asked him that already so nothing original coming from her.

Herbert assessed himself and the room. He had just been in here a few moments ago. It was the same only no Zach this time and no pizza box. This time Shelda was making breakfast, sausages and eggs.

“I’m sick!” Zach came up from the basement and declared for everyone.

“Still not well? I can’t seem to shake this thing either” Herbert said without thinking and then it was no longer déjà vu it was now a repeat of the same conversation from moments ago. He sat in a chair at the kitchen table and looked at the floor, for a split second he thought he saw a shadow move across it, but when he looked up no one had moved anywhere near him.

“I think I have a fever” he said partially to Zach and Shelda, partially to the empty space around him. “I should go back to bed. Shelda do you have the correct time? My clock seems to be broken and I left my phone in my room.

“Yes its 6:23, I am making spaghetti for dinner, it’s almost ready do you want any?” She was cheerful now.

“No this cold, its ruining my appetite. Wait did you say you were making spaghetti? I thought I just saw you making sausages and eggs.”

“I haven’t made that since last weekend; I was craving it when we were all sick remember?”

“Yeah, I um…” Herbert again assessed himself, he felt fine, no longer sick.

Sheila was on the couch watching TV, she stood up and looked at Herbert, daggers. Still angry and Herbert couldn’t think why. They hadn’t fought or even spoken to each other in the last… wait how long had it been? Herbert was getting confused.

“Are you ready? Your mother is waiting to take us to the Dr.I think she is more excited about this baby than we are!” Sheila was standing in front of Herbert, dressed and hugely pregnant, smiling and filled with that glow they always talk about.

Herbert began to spiral, what had happened, when did she, what the hell time was it. He looked at the table, the clock was gone, the table was different, it was the table from when he was a child. He WAS a child, his feet were small and his shoes were his favorite T-Rex Sneakers. His mother was putting oatmeal on the table in front of him.

“Now eat it all up and then we will go to the park.”

They had torn that park down ages ago and they put up employee housing in its place. People kept complaining about the condition of the play structure there so the city decided to get rid of the whole thing. It was prime real estate after all and housing was limited. Why maintain a park that only makes people upset.

Herbert stood up and walked towards the door. It creaked open and a familiar pair of eyes looked at him. It WAS him. He was coming in the door. He stared at himself, he was older, he had wrinkles and the house was now modern, no longer the home of his childhood. He looked tired and he recognized the look of misery on his own face.

“What the…” the only words he could muster.

They stared at each other for a full minute. Then he, the other he, backed out the door as if moving in reverse, and then Herbert saw the room go blank for a split second. Then Sheila was on the other side of the door carrying a toddler in her hands, the toddler was squirming and whining trying to break free and Sheila looked frustrated, tired and downtrodden. The ring, she was still wearing the ruby.

Harold turned around and there she was on the couch asleep, deeply asleep, but also in front of him with this boy, who was now a teenager. A boy that looked like Herbert, but very unhappy.

Herbert walked over to the couch and took the ring off of Sheila’s finger. She was furious, she stood up and her face went from young to old and then back again. She was about to start screaming and Herbert put his finger against her lips.

“I think we should break up.This is clearly not working.”

He put the ring in his pocket, got in the car and drove forty-five minutes north to the Lake. He rented a boat, drove out to what seemed to be the middle, and tossed the ring in. He went back to the dock, returned the boat, got back in his car, drove back to the house, packed a bag and drove to a hotel. He assessed himself again. He felt good about ending the relationship, he no longer had a cold and the time was 4:15 pm. He had no idea what day it was but he didn’t care. In the morning he would leave, he’d been out of work for a while anyway.Now was as good a time to start over as any. Everything was right, he was moving in a normal time direction, forward, that was as it was supposed to be. Herbert ordered room service and went to sleep.

Herbert Woke up and the clock said 3:32 am he rubbed his eyes and glanced out of the window. The sun was on the horizon, was it day or night? He wasn’t sure.

Herbert got up and walked out of the bedroom heading to the kitchen and there was Shelda, washing dishes, a pizza box on top of the counter. Zena gave Herbert the stink eye and then went upstairs to her room.

“Feeling better?”Shelda was kind and concerned, but she hadn’t she asked him that yesterday morning?

Herbert assessed himself and the room, he shook his head at Shelda. He looked at the couch, no sign of Sheila.

“I’m sick!” Zach came up from the basement and declared for everyone.

“Still not well? I can’t seem to shake this thing either” Herbert paused. Déjà vu?He grabbed a glass of water and poured some vitamin C powder into it.

The end.