Life Ends, Love Begins

Romance. The emotional entanglement most people yearn for, and the very experience many don’t get – some people’s rose petals spring and bloom, while others wither and fall. I once was a bubbly, naive, hopeless romantic, now I’m someone well-versed that the pains of life are reality.

The high of your life, at seventeen years old, became the devastation of my future. Driving home alone from cheer practice, I was in a head-on collision with a pickup truck that swerved into my lane. The shade of the red-painted vehicle ended up splashing its color onto me with the tragedy of permanence. The collapse of the truck’s front end into my seat pinned my right leg between the dashboard and the compressed engine. My flesh was crushed for many moments too long, and killed all the tissue in my leg from the upper thigh on down. The only way to save my life was to sacrifice my right leg. My pelvis was injured as well, leaving permanent spinal and nerve damage. Besides the loss of an entire limb, I was also gifted with chronic pain and a limping walk.

A year and a half was then filled with misery on earth—life in the hospital with multiple surgeries, rehab, and learning to live with new disabilities. My eighteen-year-old self could not accept this life, and I sank into a deep depression for a couple of years. My body glued to my bed felt better than any sunshine on my skin. The melancholic airwaves playing in my headphones were food for my joyless heart. Packaged food tasted livelier than any home-cooked meal. The still ceiling looked prettier than moving clouds ever could. I was in a spiral, I enjoyed it, it was all I could do.

Three years ago, what was a day like any other for twenty-year-old Allegra would become the day life would slowly start to get color again. The grey tint through my sight would slowly wear away to vibrancy. Scrolling on TikTok, watching all the lives that could have been mine, I came across a simple interview that would ignite my faded heart. The author spoke about writing stories of worlds and lives she had always dreamed of. She could pour her hopes and fantasies into words seeped onto pages.

Words had always held a fascinating place in my heart. My obsession with them began in middle school. Specifically, the meaning and definition of words would really excite me. I aced my language courses because vocabulary was my favorite hobby.

The next six months embarked on a long but healing journey. Typing away at the life I once dreamed of. As a teenage girl, I always had my plan for a college romance and how it would happen. The fluffy romance that you only read about in books was exactly the future I set for myself. The love you only see scrolling through on Pinterest, was the sole purpose I wanted for my book, A Gentle Breeze of Love. Realistic was not the purpose, but a place that I could forever document my naive, young heart.

Daisy, the female protagonist of my story, is modeled after a non-disabled me. Her name means ‘innocence’ and ‘new beginnings’—exactly the life I envisioned for college. She has light, silky, brown hair with curtain bangs, and the length that rests at her mid-back. Her height reached almost average at 5’4”. Her positivity shines through her brilliant smile, and her chocolate brown eyes shimmer with radiance. Everything encapsulated in her being is what I could not become.

The love interest, Luke, is a 5’9” man with the golden retriever personality. His fluffy, gentle, blonde hair complements his emerald eyes. His name means ‘light’ or ‘light-giving,’ and his optimistic presence harmonizes with Daisy perfectly. Luke’s light beams through Daisy’s new beginnings. The two bubbly and bright personalities saw the world in such a joyous light.

Terren Hills University is located in Virginia. Both of the leads are attending a summer course, so the campus is quieter than in the other semesters. Surrounding the college are plenty of grassy fields and gentle hills; the perfect setup for a girl’s summer dream.

Daisy is majoring in secondary education to be an English teacher. Luke, however, is majoring in engineering. The bubbly male lead doesn’t just overflow with lightheartedness, but also with knowledge.

The moment they meet, I made to be so cheesy and totally out of a romance book. Daisy walked into a-

Ring. Ring. Ring. My thoughts were interrupted as my phone began to play a lo-fi version of the song “Cupid.” The screen displayed that it was an unknown caller. Back in my high school days, I was so outgoing that I would answer with zero hesitation. Then my accident happened along with my multi-year-long depression episode. My bubbly core is still the same; it’s just been locked away in a memory box. I took a deep breath and answered the call.

“Good morning. Is this Ms. Allegra Cole?” A gentle lady on the other end of the line spoke.

“Yes, this is she,” I answered as bubbly as I could.

“Ms. Cole, this is Harper Reece from Reece Productions. I believe we spoke a couple of weeks back.” Oh my goodness. Did I not save her number? I’ll have to do that when the call is over.

“Oh, Ms. Reece! Is there any problem with the film scripting that you came across?”

“Everything is going smoothly, no need to worry. However, I found the perfect match for who will play Daisy.”

“I’m so glad to hear that! Do you need my approval for casting? Is this why you’ve called me?” I kept my cheery demeanor up, but some of my confusion slipped through my tone.

“Ah, well, I for sure need your approval. Ms. Allegra Cole, I would like you to play the role of Daisy.”

Huh. Yes, Daisy is modeled after me. Our hair matches perfectly, and so do our eyes and height. Our personality is almost a mirror reflection. The problem is, the replica is from the seventeen-year-old Allegra. The naive and hopeless romantic girl who had no idea the curveballs life actually throws. Daisy can run and float, but Allegra can only limp and fall.

“Ms. Reece, I’m positive I won’t be a good fit. You know I’m disabled, therefore I will not be able to match Daisy’s normal human abilities.”

“I personally don’t see any problem. Her ability to walk and run is such a minor part of the book that it can easily be changed. I have thought about this long and hard, and after discussing with my team and the agency you work with, you are the perfect fit. Something so magical happens when an author plays their own character. It’s almost as if it’s as natural as life itself.”

Harper’s soft, yet firm in her position, voice rang out like a song. There are so many mistakes with this. I will ruin Daisy’s perfect and unharmed presence. In turn, she will be revealed to be damaged and broken. Yet something in my heart pulled. And strangely, I found my lips parting the words.

“Yes, I’ll play Daisy.”

Harper Reece said I would have my own trailer and stylist to get me ready. I was really nervous about my disability because it was extremely visible. My leg was replaced with my trusty transfemoral prosthesis. After I fought out of my depressive slump, I decided to make my prosthetic a bit more girly, so I spray-painted the metal parts hot pink. Much cuter than the metallic grey.

My book going viral helped me out in multiple ways. I got paid to be in many interviews, my book is being made into a movie, and now I am in the cast itself. The biggest life-changing way my book has helped me is that I was able to drive again. Because my injury involves my lower spine and a missing right leg, I cannot drive normally. I needed a vehicle with hand controls, and that costs a ton of money to adapt. My dream came true, and now I have a light blue Ford Maverick with hand controls.

“How do you feel about the color of this shirt, Allegra?” My stylist held up a simple and yet super cute short-sleeved shirt that was a tanish-cream color. She already applied light makeup on me as well as put my hair up in one of those styled messy buns, leaving my curtain bangs hanging down.

“That is super cute! Let’s use that one!” I paused and softly sighed, “It’s a shame coffee will be spilled all over it.” My stylist giggled as she handed me the shirt.

Walking into the set, insecurity threatened to swallow me whole, but my brown eyes met the emerald eyes of the real-life Luke. The fluffy fantasy I wrote as the “what-if” of my life was beginning to play out.

“Thank you so much!” I said with a cheerful voice as I grabbed the coffee from Luke. I wanted the little flowers that the readers depicted when visualizing Daisy to see them around me, playing her on the screen. I felt something exciting about living the life I wanted to live. I locked eye contact with this pretty man before me for a moment too long, as I actually felt butterflies fluttering in my stomach. I turned around too fast, so that instead of a stunted trip that was scripted, I actually twisted my prosthetic and fell onto my right side. The coffee splashed upwards from my hand and managed to fall more on my head than my shirt. I silently hoped no one would be alarmed and would stay in character to complete the scene.

“Whoa, that was a big tumble! Are you okay there?” Luke came running over from around the counter and knelt beside me.

“Oh uh, I’m totally g-good! So sorry to worry you!” I spoke frantically as I laughed and waved my hands in front of my face. In truth, I actually wasn’t totally good. My prosthetic was twisted, and I would need a chair to pry me back upwards to my feet.

“Do you need any help getting up?” His emerald eyes and soft blonde hair complemented his kind demeanor. I was almost lost in its trance, just like Daisy was. My personal pride wanted to get up on my own, but I wasn’t near any chairs, and I would genuinely need his help. Plus, Daisy replied as such.

“S-sure. Th-thank you!” The lines felt too real as I placed my hands in Luke’s hands that he extended towards me. In my book, it was just one hand that Daisy carefully used to stand up. However, right now, it was both, and Luke had to fully lift me up with his strength so I could get steady on my two feet with my prosthetic facing the correct way again. Coffee dripped from my curtain bangs and bun, and it made me giggle at the thought of how ridiculous I looked. My soft laughter made Ezra’s eyes widen slightly, then back into his character as Luke, as he smiled and chuckled.

“Let me grab you a towel to at least dry your head and face.” Luke quickly ran back behind the counter. He came back with a small black towel and a black t-shirt with a coffee mug logo in the corner that said Terren Hills Cafe. The small coffee shop was on the college campus itself. Luke worked there, and after this incident, Daisy would start working there as well.

“Thank you! B-but I can’t have this shirt! Or at least let me pay for it!” Daisy always spoke in a very flustered and upbeat tone. It really wasn’t hard for me to match her, as I would just quietly think of my former self. Luke fluffed back his hair and spoke with a gentle smile.

“On the house. Don’t worry about it! The bathroom is right around the corner if you want to change.” Luke smiled and gestured with his arm.

We were on set break, and I sat outside in the beautiful grassy park on a picnic table, eating my BLT sandwich. It was near the end of the day, so the sun was quite low, leaving us with a beautiful golden hour.

“How are you holding up today?” Ezra came over and sat next to me. Ever since my legitimate tumble during the coffee spilling scene, he took extra consideration to make sure I wasn’t pushing myself. His genuine care and worry sent my heart fluttering.

“You’re always so kind, Ezra. I’m doing fine!” I thought about the next scene we were going to film, which was a run through the park during sunset. It was obviously changed for the film script, since walking was even a huge task, but it pinched my chest to think of how I could have actually lived the life of Daisy if it weren’t for my accident.

“You know,” Ezra glanced at me with glimmering, kind eyes, and then set his gaze back in front of him. “I actually like the adaptations we’ve made better than the original.” My shocked face must have given him the wrong idea. “Wait, wait, wait, I didn’t mean that I don’t like your original book!” He waved his hands in front of his face frantically, and I giggled at his flustered reaction. He loosened up and then continued. “What I mean is, it makes it feel more like real life. Daisy and Luke are such a sweet couple, but after the book, life will hit them, and it won’t be as cotton candy-like. Now, the Daisy of the film has hit life already, and it makes the relationship more impactful. There is more meaning and a realness that pulls at your chest. I love her bubbly nature, even with all the hardship she’s clearly gone through.” The words he spoke were gentle encouragements to my own heart.

My old habits started to flow outwards as I just spoke my thoughts to Ezra out loud. “Wow, I never thought about it that way. I think I pictured the reality of life like a spiked curveball rather than an impactful realness that has meaning. Or about her character being all cheerful, even with her disability.” Ezra turned to look at me, and our eyes locked in one another’s gaze again. “Ah, I’m so useless.” I held my right palm to my forehead. Ezra cocked his head in sorrow-filled confusion as I continued. “Sorry, this won’t even make sense to you. But my name, Allegra, means ‘full of life.’ It meant so much to me when I was younger, but after my accident at seventeen, it felt more like a distant dream. I’ve become quite the opposite of being lively.” Ezra’s eyes went wide with shock, then he shifted his expression to a compassionate smile.

“I kindly disagree with you. I mean, every scene that we have filmed that went wrong, all your improvising was the inner you shining through, and it was full of life. So incredibly bubbly and innocent, just like Daisy.” He smiled and rested his chin on his right hand as he continued looking at me. “I mean, take the coffee shop scene! I was genuinely scared you had hurt yourself, yet I could feel your presence telling me to continue the scene. Your reaction to the coffee dripping down your face was laughter, and I thought that was pretty special.” Ezra chuckled gently. His face filled with emotion as he continued.

“My twin sister, Elene, died three years ago at twenty-one years old in a car crash. After that, watching my college-aged peers go through life without a care in the world bothered me. But then I learned that even in the immense heartache, there can still be joy. What if there are still the fluffy clouds of life even if they pour with rain?” The way Ezra spoke was as poetic as the words that meant not only so much to Daisy, but most importantly, to me. My eyes welled up with tears as they faintly streaked down.

“Wow,” I wiped my eyes. “That is really a beautiful way to see things, Ezra. I’m so sorry about your sister, I had no idea.”

“She would have loved you.” Ezra smiled. “She was quite carefree and a lot to handle sometimes, but she had this joy about her that stayed even with all of life’s spiked curveballs, as you like to say.” He chuckled.

My feelings flowed out. “You really live up to your name.”

Ezra tilted his head slightly at my remark, then gave a gentle smirk, “And what does my name mean, Miss Author?”

“It means ‘to help’ or ‘helper’. You’re really helping me see the view of life back again after all these years.”

“Ah, that’s all you, Allegra. You genuinely are full of life. I guess I’m only helping you see that.” Ezra winked as he gave a bright smile.

“You’re also a lot like Luke. You’re being the light to my Daisy’s new beginnings right now.” I gave Ezra a bubbly smile as I continued to gaze at the beautiful golden sunlight hitting the trees. Ezra looked at me and gave such a gentle and loving smile.

“I have the urge to practice our next scene. You can finish your sandwich later!” Ezra stood up from his seat.

“Oh?” I tilted my head in genuine confusion as I put my sandwich back into the plastic bag. Ezra turned around and extended his arms behind his back to give me a piggyback ride. I giggled as I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he carefully and securely grabbed my legs before he started to jog around the grassy field as the sun shone warmly down on our lives full of life.