Between Shadows and Silence

It was 9 o’clock at night. I’m late, thought Bob. To anyone else it might seem like he meant bed time. Not Bob. He placed his camera on a tripod, grabbed the chair, and sat down behind the camera. He switched it on and began tinkering with the settings. 

Bob cut ties with his family and friends long ago. It began with sleep issues that turned into chronic insomnia. That gradually drove people away, including Sarah. She told him she’d had enough. Or was it the other way around? The details were hazy.

Occasionally, he would involuntarily doze off for sometime. But then he would wake up to a recurring dream, and proceed to have a headache for the next few hours. He barely remembered the dream, except for a mysterious silhouetted figure.

He had one of those shut-eye moments that evening. That was the reason he was late.

The headache made his mind jump between the task, and flashes of memories from the past. One moment, he was on a lush green meadow, enjoying the soft sound of rustling grass, and cool breeze on his skin, and Sarah laying calm and peacefully beside him. The next moment, she was seated beside him on a sofa, talking about a new doctor she’d found for Bob’s insomnia. She gracefully tucked her hair, revealing an earring with a missing diamond. Was it a mistake during purchase or had the diamond fallen off when Sarah had that nasty fall? Why is it so hard to remember? he wondered. 

Those moments were more than a year ago. Now, he spent most of his time observing people, studying their behaviors, obsessions, and triggers. Financially, he had done quite well which allowed him to afford his current unproductive lifestyle. So every night, he sat in his living room with his camera.

That night was no different. He managed to finally get the camera settings right. He panned from one window to another hoping for something interesting. Most nights were uneventful. People would simply crash and doze off, or they would switch on the TV and scroll through their phones instead.

Occasionally, he witnessed random sexual encounters, which had excited him in the early days. But not anymore. It’s all just meaningless lust. And then, there were people who would argue and fight, which he thought were no less meaningless.

He remembered an argument he had–something about a lunch commitment. Sarah had just woken up. Bob, as usual, had another sleepless night. She sat beside him and tucked her hair, revealing an earring with a missing diamond. She looked concerned–or maybe annoyed? By that point, Bob remained awake for nearly the entire night. Sometimes he read, and sometimes he watched TV. But once Sarah was asleep, he spent the rest of the time watching her. “Why can’t you be more like this when you’re awake? Calm and peaceful.”

Bob’s thoughts were interrupted by an approaching convoy of vehicles, a limousine at the center, and two SUVs each at the front and the back. Once the convoy stopped, a roster of security personnel stepped out of the SUVs and formed a protective circle around the limousine. Bob noticed something peculiar about their movements. They were in sync, which seemed unnatural because no amount of training could make people move in tandem like programmed robots. Then one of them stepped forward to open the limousine door. A sharply dressed elderly man walked out, followed by an attractive young woman.

“Interesting!”

He recalled, the most excitement he had was watching a young maid seduce an elderly fellow who had arrived in a similar convoy. Meanwhile, her accomplice rifled through his belongings, stealing millions worth diamonds. 

Good hustle. But bad luck.

The two women were later found dead in a parking lot. Their bodies were left exposed as a statement for whoever dared to steal from the cartel. As sadistic as it might seem, each night since then, Bob hoped for something gruesome.

The old man and the young woman reached their suite. As expected, things quickly turned sexual. He saw their bags. What twisted scenarios are they imagining? He glanced down at the security. The entire group had changed into robes with hoods and were about to enter the hotel.

“What the fuck?”

When he turned back to the suite, the woman was on the bed in a nightgown, while the elderly man stood nearby holding a cross, dressed as a priest.

A smile crept up on Bob’s face. He began recording.

Through the camera, he saw the old man dramatically waving the cross. The woman reciprocated, violently squirming as though in extreme pain. Slowly, she undressed herself while continuing to writhe. The old man, as though he regained his youth, jumped around the bed.

Bob noticed his temperature rising.

Is this turning me on?

The old man climbed onto the bed while ripping off his robe. The woman was almost naked. Meanwhile, Bob was fully engrossed and found himself eagerly wanting to see what came next. 

Suddenly, the lights went out.

“Fuck!”

The entire block had lost power. Wait…! Why is my camera down?

As he tried to figure out the problem, the lights flickered back on. So did his camera. Bob quickly went back to the camera view. To his surprise, the old man was tied to the bed and the woman stood over him, with two hooded figures from the security in the room. Confusion was plastered all over the old man’s face. Bob noticed that one of the hooded figures was holding a knife. Bob squirmed violently on his seat at the sight of the knife. 

The woman slowly sat on top of the old man while the hooded figure handed her the knife. Panic washed over the old man. He desperately shouted for help. 

How is no one hearing this?

The woman took the knife and tested its sharpness by piercing her fingertip. Satisfied by the result, she swiftly cut into the old man’s belly.

Bob leaned back in his chair, “What the fuck!”

Suddenly, a muffled scream echoed from another room. Then another. Bob looked in horror as the hooded figures were restraining guests throughout the hotel. 

Bob looked down at the camera display. The old man looked dead. The woman was still sitting on top of him, rubbing his blood all over herself. The two hooded figures knelt on the floor with their hands raised as though they were worshipping her. 

I should call the police.

Bob grabbed his phone but struggled to operate it. He paused for a moment, forcing himself to calm down. He glanced back at the camera, and noticed something unsettling. The woman stood in the balcony seemingly staring at Bob. He also noticed every hooded figure froze to turn and face him. What seemed even more disturbing was the fact that the woman was eerily similar to the silhouetted figure from his dreams.

Unconsciously Bob stood up and took a step back. To his surprise, all the hooded figures did the same, as if they were mirroring him. 

“This ain’t happening.” He took another step back. Again, they followed!

Bob looked at the woman. She remained on the balcony staring at him. Slowly, she raised a hand and pointed at him, and then let out a visceral scream. 

In an instant, all the hooded figures sprinted out of the rooms. 

What…what’s happening!  Bob stood there in confusion.

A few seconds later, he saw them burst through the hotel entrance and run toward his building. Without thinking, Bob rushed to grab his revolver, and on the way out of his apartment, grabbed his car keys also.

The lights in the corridor disoriented him for a moment. Once his vision settled, he paced toward the fire exit, passing by a man. 

“You okay, buddy?” asked the man he just passed. 

Shit! Bob wanted to ignore him. But I should warn him. “Hey, uh listen! Get back to your room, okay? I think I saw some crazies entering our building.” He continued walking toward the fire exit. 

“How you doing, Bob?” replied the man. 

“Look, just get inside, all right…! Wait! Did he call me…?”

Bob turned to face the man. He was smiling, but something about him was off. 

“Do I know you?” Bob asked, slowly stepping closer.

“How you doing, Bob?”

Bob’s frustration grew, “How do you know my name?”

“How you doing, Bob?”

Bob grabbed the man by his collar, “I said, how the fuck do you know my name?”

The man remained unfazed. “How you doing, Bob?”

Bob pulled out his gun, and aimed it at the man’s head. “Answer the question, goddammit, or I swear, I fucking swear I’ll blow your brains!”

Suddenly Bob heard another voice, “How you doing, Bob?”

Bob turned around to find another person standing down the corridor with the same demeanor. Doors opened along the corridor and more people emerged, all staring at Bob, and chanting the line “How you doing, Bob?”

Bob waved his gun around frantically, unsure of what to do. Tears began rolling down his face, “Stop, please stop!” But the chanting only got louder. He shut his eyes, covered his ears and sank to the ground, hoping it would end. He let out a guttural cry.

Suddenly, the chaos ended. 

But there was a familiar voice calling out his name. Through his teary vision, he saw her. “Sarah? Wha…what’re you doing here?”

Sarah noticed Bob’s agitation. “Bob? What’s going on? You look…” her voice trails off. “Why do you have your gun out?”

Bob’s senses were settling down, but he was still jumpy. “Let’s get inside, Sarah. We’ll talk, okay!” He was barely holding himself. 

Sarah edged back slightly. “You’re scaring me, Bob. What happened to you? You’re out here all edgy. And…and…and you have your gun out for some reason. Wha..what’s going on with you?”

“Sarah, I swear I’ll explain everything. Just…can we get inside first? There are people who could hurt us. Okay?”

Sarah was visibly confused. “I…I don’t understand. Who’s trying to hurt us?”

Bob sighed in exhaustion. “Sarah…please, trust me? We need to get inside. Please…”

But Sarah suddenly became calm. “I’d listen to you, Bob. But right now, I can’t. I’m asleep, remember?”

Bob’s mind stalled trying to register what she just said. “Wha…what? What’re you talking about?”

“I’m sleeping, Bob. Don’t you like me better when I’m asleep?”

The realization dawned on Bob.

Sarah’s voice shifted, “How you doing, Bob?”

Bob stumbled backward. “No…no, please, not you too…”

Sarah pulled a knife out of her bag and kept advancing toward him. “Aren’t you happy, Bob? Isn’t this exactly how you wanted me–calm and peaceful?”

Bob gasped at the sight of the knife. The uneasy feeling when he saw the knife on the hooded figure in the hotel room returned, but this time he felt physically sick. Then, out of nowhere, a hand gripped his shoulders from behind. Startled, he spun around, and before he could register, he had already pulled the trigger. 

The building security’s body dropped with a heavy thud. 

He spun back around, “Sarah…!” He gasped. But she was nowhere. 

On the verge of complete mental collapse, Bob began slapping his face, hoping to force himself awake from the nightmare. But nothing changed. 

“Fuuuuucccccckkkkk…!”

He dragged the body through the stairs of the fire exit, down to the parking lot. After he reached the parking lot door, he shoved it open.

Then he froze. 

Standing there were the hooded figures. Bob pulled out his gun and aimed at the mob, expecting them to jump at him. He waited, but nothing happened. They seemed oddly calm. Still wary, he resumed dragging the body toward his car, making sure the gun was pointed at the mob. 

Before he could reach his car, the limousine from the convoy earlier drove in and parked in front of him. The driver stepped out and walked to the dead body. With inhuman strength, he lifted the body and tossed it into the trunk of the car. Then, without a word, he gestured to Bob to get inside the car.

“Aah no, fuck that…” Bob began stepping back. But his body hit a wall, or so it seems. When he turned around, he was startled to find the mob standing at a breath’s length. He realized that they had him cornered. 

With no other option, Bob reluctantly got into the car. The driver shut the door behind him and returned to the driver’s seat. The crowd parted, clearing a path for the limousine. 

Inside the car, Bob recounted the events that led him to his current predicament–a murder witness, a murderer himself, and a potentially hostile driver, with unknown intentions.

Outside, the city ran at its pace– parties, fights, arrests, and countless unfolding lives. Bob sighed at the sight of a couple screaming at each other at the top of their lungs. 

“You never liked him anyway!” yelled Sarah.

“Yes! Finally! Finally you understand.” replied Bob. “I fucking despise that guy. He is a piece of shit.”

“You know what, Bob? I think you’re jealous.”

Bob began laughing. He found the accusation so absurd that he didn’t know how else to react. 

Sarah continued, “Yeah, that’s right. You’re jealous! And insecure! Because deep down you know that he is better than you, has more money, and…” she hesitated for a second, “and in spite of all my flaws, he still wants to date me!”

By the end of the day, Sarah had packed her things and stormed out of the house. Bob recalled himself screaming and yelling till the time she went out the door.

“For fuck sake, Sarah, wait! SARAH!”

Him screaming in the dream pierced through his head like a needle and woke him up with a jolt.

Sarah’s name was still echoing in his head. He pulled out his phone and dialed her number. It was out of service. He looked for another number and hit the dial. The line got through.

Come on…pick up. Pick up, damn it.

Someone picked up. “Hello?”

“Hello! HELLO? SARAH!”

“Sarah? No, it’s her mom. Who is this?”

“Barbara? It’s Bob.”

“Bob? Jeez…what time is it?”

“Barbara. Is Sarah there? Can you get her on the phone?”

“What do you mean…? Bob, are you okay?”

“Look, Barbara. It’s important I talk to her, okay? Can you please get Sarah?”

Barbara’s voice broke down slightly. “I…I don’t…I don’t understand, Bob. How…”

The car came to a sudden halt. 

“Hello? Bob? Can you hear me? Bob…what’s going on?”

“I’ll have to call you back, Barbara,” he said. 

Bob got out of the car. Why does this place look familiar? he wondered. The driver had already moved the body out. Without a word, he got back in the car and drove off. Bob walked toward the body, trying to place the nagging sense that he’d been here before. The soft sound of rustling grass, and cool breeze on his skin seemed oddly familiar.  

Bob picked up the shovel left behind by the driver and started digging. A few minutes later, he struck something solid. He dropped to his knees and carefully removed the dirt. When the dirt gave away, he saw a knife. Bob became squirmish again. He stumbled and was barely able to balance himself. Then he noticed what was actually buried in that hole. It was the remains of a human body. On it was an earring with a missing diamond. 

Memories of Sarah flashed by Bob’s mind. That Halloween party, their first kiss, and their first night together. It was perfect. He was a hippy priest, and she was a possessed girl. When he introduced himself, she responded–”How you doing, Bob?” 

Bob felt the earth underneath him move. Before long, the woman from the hotel room was standing before him. He could finally see her face. It was Sarah. 

Hidden memories also began unraveling. Bob saw a pool of blood and bloody clothes. He felt the knife pierce through Sarah’s skin as he stabbed her. He saw his hand clamped over her mouth. He remembered following her with a knife in hand when she stormed out the door after their argument. He saw her lifeless body fall to the ground, and the diamond getting knocked off the earring.

He took her body to the same meadow he had taken her one time for a surprise picnic. Ever since, she had expressed her desire to visit the meadow again. That’s where he stood with her lifeless body. Before burying her, he stared at her face one last time, “I like you more when you are asleep.”

Confronted by the ugly truth of his past, Bob broke down. He couldn’t bring himself to look her in the eye. He wanted the suffering to end, and wished she would be the one to do it. 

Instead, she knelt in front of him, and gently placed her hand on his face and said, “It’s gonna be okay Bob. You can let go.”

Hearing those words, Bob began sobbing uncontrollably, apologizing over and over.

When he regained some composure, he looked up, expecting to see Sarah. She was gone, again. But, he knew what he had to do. He walked until he reached the police station where Sarah’s file still remained open, and confessed his crimes. 

For Bob, this was the first time in many months that he felt a sense of genuine relief. Because his exhaustion was not just from insomnia, but also the burden he had carried for so long. Finally freed from his guilt, he lay down in peace in the holding cell. Within minutes he felt a heaviness creeping over him. He let that feeling take over, and for the first time, in a long time, he drifted off into a long and peaceful sleep.