The Falling Man

CW: Terrorist attack, mass casualty event, suicide, trauma.

Today was like every other day

I headed to work through the crowds of work consumed zombies

Orientation started at 8 AM and I was determined to be on time

New York was different from Baltimore

Same rats, trash and recurring hobos on the corner

The city bustled with the noise of passing cars possessed by road rage drivers

After a delightful ride in the urine scented subway , I made it to my destination

The Twin Towers

I craned my neck so far back, I almost staggered backwards

The clear blue sky coated with fluffy white clouds caused my eyes to water

It was September 11, 2001

After a crushed ride in the elevator

My ears popped and I felt queasy

I got lost with all the glass windows contained by cubicles that looked identical

Phones were ringing nonstop and assistants were running back and forth with coffee

It was 8:20 AM

A random person directed me to the conference room

He disappeared before I had a chance to thank him

Sucked into the abyss of frenzy workers

Eight people joined me in the conference room

The glass conference room allowed us a front row seat to see the staff in action

They were too busy to watch us, the newbies

The sunlight pooled through the window and warmed my hand

A man in a gray suit complained about the wait

His black hair peppered with white gave him a Richard Gere look

Lost in my thoughts

I barely noticed the jolt

My paper coffee cup shook and spilled on my papers

Leaping up for a tissue or anything to salvage my reputation on my first day

Another violent jolt sent me to the carpeted floor like a rag doll

Before I had a chance to question my companions

The building shook hard

The ceiling lights sparked and turned off

The darkened room was filled with shrieks and loud panicked voices

The blonde from the end of the table rushed for the door inviting a wave of smoke into the conference room.

I gagged and tears formed at the corners of my eyes

I asked my future coworkers,” What are we going to do”?

The ginger man freckled with creamy skin shouted in my face,“ I don’t care what you do b#%#h” before running down the corridor

The rest followed

I was left alone with the peppered hair man

He turned and faced me

“Let ‘s Go”

I followed

We walked pass people calling their families as white sheets of paper darted the sky like kites through the broken glass windows

We paused and took in the damage

My mind was trying to process what happened

Maybe a gas explosion?

Maybe....

My thoughts were interrupted by the pepper hair man

We managed to find a stairwell

He swung open the metal door, and we were immediately crushed by thousands of people

Shoving and pushing past each other like pigs in a slaughterhouse

It was so painful to see the sheer panic and how the injured people were ignored by the masses

The pepper hair man grabbed my wrist and directed me to a door

We were leaving the stairwell and entering another floor full of panicked filled people

My legs were shaking from walking down flights of steps for thirty -five minutes straight

Hands raw from gripping the metal railings through the smoke and to help prevent me from tumbling down them

We weren’t making any progress

Another jolt

He grabbed my hand and half dragged me through the cubicles

Coworkers were carrying the injured

Seeing a different side of this disaster gave me the strength to run faster

Kindness still exists

Firefighters rushed past us and told us to keep heading down the stairwell

Our eyes met

We were filled with the hope that were close

Close .... to ending this nightmare

Then I saw it

Something flew past the window

Too big for a bird

Everyone stopped

Silence

It was a person

A human being

Warm, large hands cover my eyes

Tears streamed down my face

He whispered in my ears and led me to the stairway

We started to descend again

Tears blur my vision

I didn’t understand what was going on

But I didn’t have time to figure it out

The strong smell of burning plastic and jet fuel smothered my senses

I tore the yellow bandana from hair to cover my mouth like a masked robber

My eyes were burning from the small fires in the offices

The further we got, the darker the stairwell became

Emergency lights come on and the remaining lights flickered

I started to get dizzy from the warm air and become faint due to the mental and physical strain

The peppered hair man helped me to sit on the steps

He stood at my side blocking people from stepping on me in the craze

“Rest and we will start again” (I looked up at him and quickly lowered my head)

“Are You Scared?’’

“Yes”

“But you are standing here .. Protecting me... The others ran away”

‘’ They say ... the real you come out when you are consumed by fear. .. (pause) It strips every man’s dignity away, leaving only the truth”

“Yes, I can see that... even now... I can see “...(my voice trails off)

After an hour of walking down more steps

My watch said 9:03 AM

Then a loud boom

The building was shaking with flickering lights, and the stairwell was full of prayers and cries

People were screaming, “the building is collapsing !!”

The panic – filled stampede started and we were crushed against the wall,

Left grasping for a way out that didn’t include being crushed by the multitude of people

My pepper haired companion lifted me like a doll and shoved through a door

We bumbled over fallen chairs and desks looking for another exit or stairwell down

The broken windows sent bursts of air towards us pushing us forward

After playing musical chairs with every door on the floor

We realized

We had to go back

It was the only exit

The only way down

The smoke burned my eyes, and I walked to the window for a breath of fresh air

I looked down at the street below that looked like a small grey line with moving dots

Watching falling glass and debris litter the street below

He pulled me back and I snapped back to reality

We ran to the exit then a second boom combined with the crash of falling ceiling panels

Made us pause and look up

It was blocked

Debris and flames blocked the ... only exit out

We were still too high up

Everyone was gone; We were the only ones here!

They won’t come back looking for us

He calmly sat at an empty desk chair and lowered his head into his hands and cried

He cried

I cried

In silence

The ceiling tiles started to cave in, and the cylinder light bulb rods dangle entangled in wires like a jack in the box

The lights flickered and went off

The room was filling with smoke and reluctantly we got closer to the open window

Sweat drenched my shirt, the heat from the fire crawled closer

We were sitting crossed legged by the window after several strong winds almost carried me out.

The he just stood up and faced me

I raised my face to him

He looked downward to the streets below and my blood curdled

He decided

To not wait for death, but to greet him Face to Face

He stepped out without hesitation, and the wind carried him away

No Sound

No Scream

He became the Falling Man

It was 9:41 AM