Young Judas

The sun was out and several children from town were playing tag. Through the sound of laughing, one voice rang out. “You’re it, Judas!” Judas frowned at his plight. He was smaller than the other children and he rarely was able to run one down to tag them.

The other children encircled him, like a pack of wild dogs around a lamb. “Come on Judas, pick me!”, they chanted. Judas lunged out but was unable to touch anyone. They were too quick, and they knew it. A single voice shouted out. “Awe, the poor baby can’t touch us. Don’t cry, little baby!” The rest of the children broke out in laughter.

Judas felt his face flush, and he knew everyone could see it. “Look everyone,” another shouted. “The baby’s having a bowel movement! I hope he doesn’t roll around in it, when it comes out!” A second voice joined in. “Maybe we should help him get over the fear of doing just that!” “You’re right. Maybe we should,” chirped out a third voice.

Like vultures circling its prey, the children closed in on Judas. Two of the oldest boys grabbed him by the shoulders and dragged him to a street corner where a dog just went. Mercilessly, they threw Judas down on the pile and made sure he was thoroughly smeared with dog shit, from head to foot. “There you go, little baby,” another voice said. “You should feel comfortable now, living in what you’re made of. You’re lucky we won’t make you eat it.”

Defeated, Judas laid immobile, waiting for the vultures to disperse. After what seemed like forever, the children dismissed themselves in the echo of laughter and left him where he lay.

As their laughter faded in the distance, Judas’s became filled with rage. It was at that moment, the seed of an emotion was planted in his mind, and it sprouted into hatred. Pulling himself out of the mud, he went home. As he dragged his feet down the road, countless eyes gazed at him, dressed in his filthy clothes. But Judas just ignored the stares. He knew he smelled terrible and looked like a pig in the muck, but none of that mattered, though. He had to get home and get cleaned up before his father discovered what had happened to him. With the thoughts of his father creeping in his mind, Judas’s fit of rage was quickly replaced by fear. He knew the humiliation he felt walking home would be nothing compared to the punishment his father would bestow on to him and worse, the punishment he would give his mother for birthing him. Rumors exploded throughout the town about Judas’ birth and even years later, they reached my ears.

“Where is he?” Simon, Judas’ father had asked. Ruth, Judas’ mother went to another room and returned, carrying the child. “Well, let me see.” Ruth uncovered the child’s face, and he looked upon his new son for the first time. His look of disappointment was obvious. “Huh,” he said. “He looks small and weak. Is he going to live?”

Ruth was aghast with his abrupt question. “How can you ask such a thing?”

The back of Simon’s hand struck the side of her face before she even realized he moved. Wagging his finger at her, he spoke. “How many times have I told you to watch your mouth, bitch? One of these days, I won’t be so nice.” Simon turned around and walked out of the house.

Ruth broke out in tears. Both the shock and pain were too much for her to bear. She put the child down and nursed her wound. The welt was already starting to swell and darken. She will have a hard time hiding it from everyone. Why bother trying to cover it? she asked. Everyone already knew how Simon treats me. They might as well see the results of his actions. Ruth shied away from these thoughts. She went to grab a shawl and tried to hide her face. It did a poor job of covering the bruise, but it was better than nothing.

As she inspected the placement of the shawl, an unanswered question rolled back in her mind for the thousandth time. How could my father arrange a marriage like this for me? Again, there was no answer. Fate had struck a severe blow, shortly before the wedding was supposed to take place. Her father suddenly died, leaving her tied to the alter. All the luck she had in her life turned out to be bad.

The clouds of despair did part for a while, after the birth of their first son. When Adam was born, Simon gravitated toward him, and their house was an abode of peace. Unfortunately, like most peace treaties, the peace didn’t last. In less than two months, he fell back into his old habits, bedding whoever he could find and beat Ruth at his whim. Ruth heart cried out, calling out to an empty room. Why, father, why? she asked. She was only answered with silence.

Ruth returned to the sleeping child and watched him. Perhaps, with this new addition to the family, he’ll change, she said. Maybe he’ll become the husband and father he’s meant to be. With God, anything is possible. All she could do was pray. Judas lost count of how many times he had heard this story, before his fifth birthday, and it still haunts him through today.

Fortune was with him because his father wasn’t home. Quickly, he changed out of his clothes and washed the slime from his body. When he was done, Judas went to find his mother. It was in the kitchen where he found her preparing the evening meal. Giving her a hug, he said, “Hi, Mom. I missed you today.”

Ruth smiled at him and returned his hug. “Hi, my Judas. I’m so glad you’re home. Where’s your brother?” she asked.

Judas released his hug and shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know,” he said. “Don’t worry about him. He can take care of himself.” He knew it was true. Adam was two years his elder. He was tall for his age and strong. Adam also had a lot of friends and was praised for being a good boy by their neighbors. He was everything Judas wasn’t.

Ruth too released her hug. “It’s almost time to eat. Be a good boy, Judas and go find your brother.”

Judas relented and returned to the outdoors again. He went to the part of town where Adam frequented and as he wandered down the road, he found Adam on the street talking to some other boys. When Judas saw who he was talking to, it made him freeze in his tracks. What he saw was Adam talking to one of the boys who rolled him in the muck. Judas hid behind the corner of a nearby building and waited. It wasn’t long before he heard both of them laughing out loud about something. There was only one thing he could think of, that would make them laugh like that. The rage he felt earlier roared back in him and began to devour him. As the desire for vengeance filled him, he waited for an opportunity to strike back.

God must have heard my prayers, he said. For soon after, the boy left Adam and walked off alone. Stealthily, Judas followed him and waited for his chance of revenge. He picked up a rock about the size of his fist and continued his quest. Then, the ill-fated moment arrived. As the boy started up a deserted street, he made his move. Judas caught up with him on silent feet, then called out to him. The boy stopped and turned around and when he did, Judas swung the rock with all his might and struck him on the head. When the rock struck him, he heard a cracking sound, as the side of his head caved in. The boy collapsed on the ground and went into convulsions. Moments later, the tremors ceased and the boy’s life ebbed from his body, as Judas watched with curiosity.

The rage he felt eased up but was still left with a feeling of dissatisfaction. He wished the boy had suffered more. Satisfied with the results, Judas then turned and walked back the way he came. When he returned to where Adam was, he called out to him. “Adam! Mom’s looking for you. Come on, let’s go.” Adam took off with Judas, and they ran home in silence.