When I Packed Up My Home, My Life Changed

When I Packed Up My Home My Life Changed.

 (The story contains verbal emotional abuse)

After dealing with debilitating trauma during the night, I had to start the challenging process of packing up all my possessions and arranging to have them taken to a local storage unit. Luckily, I didn’t have many things to put into storage, as I had downsized when I moved into this small unit two years ago. As I packed everything into boxes, I thought of the past that had led to my life falling apart. It had started with the separation from Michael, my partner.

The relationship had become very controlling. Michael kept ringing me when I was out on my own or with friends. He asked me when I was coming home. Eventually, he told me he didn’t want me to go out without him because he needed to know if I was safe. This conversation left me wondering whether his concern for my safety was a way for him to control who I saw, where I went, and what I did. When Michael began yelling at me I knew I had to escape, which meant moving to another state to ensure that Michael didn’t find me.

Moving away on my own meant giving up my beautiful home in the country and my job at a local pharmacy. Michael’s controlling abuse had left me with virtually nothing, and without a job, I was struggling financially. I was able to pay the bond on a small apartment on top of a high complex in the middle of the city but I had issues with my neighbours who were noisy and fighting with each other. I felt threatened and didn’t want to leave my apartment in case they confronted me. My life had gone from one form of abuse to another, and there seemed to be no way to escape, yet the eventual escape put me in a worse situation.

I was struggling to pay the rent every fortnight, and when the landlord raised it, I fell into arrears. I was soon facing eviction, and I could not find other accommodation in the two weeks he gave me to vacate the premises. The only choice I had was to sleep on the street with other homeless people, in a tent, I had received from a local charity with a small mattress. I carried them out into the city street near tents where other homeless people were living. When I lay down on my small mattress with one blanket that night I felt more threatened than ever before as I couldn’t lock my tent and anyone could have come in and confronted me. My perception of people had changed with the threats I had endured for a long time, and I believed everyone was selfish and controlling but over the next week I started to learn that this was not true.

One day I spoke to a lady who was living in the tent next to me. At first it was difficult to talk about myself as I thought she would believe that I was inadequate and a total failure. The opposite was true and in many ways she shared my life experiences as her relationship had failed, she had left her partner, and she had also been forced to live on the streets in a tent due to financial difficulties. Debbie and I immediately connected, and she told me she had heard about a charity which provided meals for homeless people on a weekly basis. The meals were served inside the facility, and it was an opportunity to socialise with other people which I was beginning to realise was important if I was going to be able to move on with my life and leave behind the abuse.

The next day Debbie and I went to the facility. We sat at the long table surrounded by people from our local community who were friendly and happy to interact with us. This was an extra bonus to the delicious meal we were served and the positivity continued. I spent time with a support worker who helped me move on with emergency accommodation to get me off the streets and give me a comfortable home. The support worker also talked to me about applying for a job or completing a course to help me qualify for a job. I thought about what she had said and I decided I would work on my future career to help me financially and move on with a rewarding life.

I was able to access online job openings on the laptop provided for us at the facility. I had worked in a pharmacy for a number of years and I wanted to start in this occupation again and upskill to a pharmacist preparing the medication for the clients. I saw a number of local pharmacies looking for staff and I immediately applied for one after contacting a senior pharmacist from my previous workplace who had heard of my previous challenges. George was very happy to give me a reference, and I remembered how friendly and supportive he had been when we worked together. My impression of people had changed from a totally negative one to an understanding that while a minority where a threat to our well-being and safety the majority where kind and supporting contacts.

It took a few months to start a new job and get an apartment. Debbie and I had kept in contact and she had supported me all the way while also setting herself up for a positive future. As I walked to the local pharmacy where I was working, on a sunny day, I looked around at the busy streets and the traffic moving slowly next to me. At times I missed the relaxing countryside where I had been surrounded by the calming features of nature. I knew that one day I would return to a similar location but for now I was happy to be here, moving on with my life on a road very different to the previous one. This road was straight with a few occasional bumps which were easy to walk over and reach my destination.