WHEREVER THE HERE AFTER

“WHEREVER THE HERE AFTER” by Carolyn Petersen

It seems we have all spent some part of our days thinking about the afterlife. I believe we have all accepted the fact we are going to die in some fashion whether by illness or accident or by our own hand. People have come up with all kinds of belief systems, religions if you will, that are supposed to comfort you to the idea that once this body is no longer visible it still exists in some form. We buy into these ideas because we have spent so much time in this body perfecting it by eating right, exercising, and educating our minds. Has this all been for naught? That “poof “all this hard work went for nothing, nada. I’m here to tell you that all those years were not wasted. As this human body starts to rot away which it does as soon as you are born.

 I am lying in wait, excitement growing over time when I can finally be released and be and do whatever I want, not waiting for someone’s approval, not being afraid to hurt someone’s feelings, not fulfilling others wishes. I want to rip off that skin that binds me and cements me to this solid ground. Yes, I want to be free of this body sack.

Saying all this I now will reveal to you that I have arrived. I am a ghost of myself.

What don’t you believe me? Quess what, I don’t care. The only thing that matters is this incredible feeling of lightness I can’t really explain. I am not attached to any one identity. I could as easily be a cow or a human or a bug it matters very little what my form takes it is this, how can I explain it, these floating thoughts as I gaze upon the earth.

Spirits, ghosts, whatever you want to call me I have become. I sit and wait and when you are in doubt about what you should do or say I will be there whispering in your ear. It might scare you this whispering, you won’t know where it is coming from and maybe you’ll feel a little mad but that’s o.k. You may even feel me touching your skin as you walk down some dark alley or hiking in the woods, it could be anywhere. You’ll try to brush me off and convince yourself it was just the wind or a leaf fluttering down from the trees but in your heart you know that isn’t true. In your heart you believe someone or something is sending you a message.

I find I can be funny and serious which sort of surprised me in the beginning. I say in the beginning when I looked down at my body and well, didn’t see one. I only saw nothingness.

This takes a while to get used to. What happened to my feet, my hands, my head ? How could I explain where and how these thoughts were coming from; then I realized I didn’t have to explain I just needed to accept. I didn’t think so much of my past existence as I did to what was going on right now. I spent so much of my life mulling over things I said or did and debating if I said or did the right thing. I was to come to the realization that regrets are a waste of time.

There was one peculiar aspect of this new beginning I started to realize. I realized I wanted to to guide people towards decisions that I felt would make their lives happier. I know that sounds judgmental but that’s o.k. as I said I wasn’t going to make excuses for my actions in my new form. I will admit try as I could I was judgmental in my other form; either verbally or by thoughts. How could people make such crazy decisions about their lives I often wondered. Actions such as choosing the right mate.

The beauty of being a ghost.

I’ve often appeared in homes with negative energy; I don’t know what draws me there but I will tell you negative energy is very strong and scary. I will listen and view people quarreling .They will be abusive either by threatening each other or sometimes hitting each other . I whisper in both their ears not just one I don’t want to make like I’m taking sides.

“Leave the room, go for a run have a stiff drink (just not too many), just get out of your negative energy fields. “ I whisper softly I want them to think it’s their idea. Believe it or not but it works sometimes but, in all honesty, not. They continue to abuse with no resolution to their problem. The simple solution, like leave just doesn’t come to them. I wish I had known that when I was in that body sack, life could have been a lot more fulfilling.

I never stay too long in one place I don’t like the negativity so I drift along. I am looking for the beauty in life but it is becoming so difficult. As I grew into adulthood it seemed like the beauty in life was disappearing, perhaps not the beauty but the innocence. My belief that people wanted to help and not hurt each other was gradually being eroded. From the top of the government to the pits of the homeless, people seemed to just be out for themselves. I couldn’t stand it.

As a ghost I decided I would only do good. Initially this sounds like a contradiction of what I initially expressed but it is not. Doing good can sometimes be disguised as being mean or cruel but sometimes that’s what it takes. And so I float around this world basking in its wonder and appreciating all I have; the freedom to be really me.

As the saying goes “fate is a roll of the dice, regret a waste of your time”.