The picture of the cat

Brown fur. Which one would work?

Lea’s fingers stroked gently over the neatly arranged coloured pencils in the box. Seeing the colours, she waited for the right feeling. A light tickling of her fingertips. A sped-up beat of her heart.

Van-Dyck. Walnut. Umbra.

The silver lettering shimmered under the light of her desk lamp. The half-finished cat in front of her waited for its fur. Then she felt it. The tingling.

Huh? Nougat?

The moment Lea fished out the pencil, she heard the footsteps. Dropping the pencil, her fingers found the light switch. Her room was plunged into darkness. Almost.

Shit! The window.

The silver moonlight illuminated the room enough to see vague shapes. The steps stopped. Hearing the door creak slightly, Lea crouched under her desk. Her chair still turning. Her heart beating against her ribs.

Don’t look. Don’t look.

Trying to breathe as shallow as possible, Lea didn’t dare to move. The door opened further. Lea closed her eyes. Just to open them immediately. There were two quiet shuffles. A head appeared from behind the door while the body remained hidden.

Just go. Don’t come in.

As if the person had heard her thoughts, it turned toward the desk. Lea held her breath, shrinking even further under the desk. The stare lingered. In the girl’s chest was a frog trying to escape its prison. A sigh was audible. Then the door closed again. Softly. After a few more moments, Lea could hear the steps again. This time moving away from her room.

With her hands still shaking, she crawled out from under her desk and climbed into bed. The blanket was formed into an odd shape, and she needed some time to untwist her decoy. Finally covered, she shivered. Her feet were icy, as were her hands. Kicking her legs as if she were in a pool, she hoped for the cold to disappear. Turning her head, she glanced at the alarm clock. The display was no match to the moonlight but helped to illuminate the room even further. Lea stuck out her tongue to the clock. Then she pulled her knees to her chest, turning away from the clock. Warmth was slow to come but after a few more wriggles of her feet, she felt her eyelids grow heavy.

Nougat. It should be that colour.

Peeking up from her cereal bowl, Lea focused on her mother drinking her coffee and scrolling on her phone.

“Uh, mom.”

“Hm … ya.”

“Mom.”

With a sigh, the phone was put on the table, screen facing down. Lea swallowed and sat up straight.

“Uhm, well … I wanted … Have you seen my cat picture?”

Her mother’s eyes stared at her with a blank expression. Lea watched closely for any kind of twitch.

“What are you talking about?”

“My picture. I … I drew a cat. Two days ago. It was a brown cat. With green eyes. Sitting. A ball of wool in front of it.”

“I haven’t been in your room.”

“It’s really important, mom. I need to show it to Magda. So can you …”

“As I said. I don’t go into your room without permission. That’s what we talked about. You remember our talk about trust.”

“Ugh. That’s not what I … My picture is missing. And … You’re the only one. It can’t just disappear!”

Somehow her voice had gotten louder. Too sharp even in her ears. Her hand gripped the spoon tightly.

“Lea, dear. I really have no idea.”

The voice was quiet and in contrast to Lea’s agitated tone. It made Lea grind her teeth.

“You have to. Now I’ve nothing to show. And Magda will be … It was a masterpiece.”

A light tap against the coffee mug. A frown. Lea looked straight into her mother’s eyes. Lifting her chin by a fragment.

“You check on me the whole time. And now you want to punish me. Just give me back my picture.”

“Punish you? Why would I want to punish you?”

“Because … I … ugh. Just give me back my picture!”

Her mother closed her eyes. Lea’s breathing was heavy. The half-empty bowl of cereal looked like an invitation to escalate further. Her mother straightened her back and calm eyes focused on the girl.

“Look. I’ll check later when you are at school. It could be somewhere in the flat. When you come home, go through your … art upstairs. It could have fallen. Maybe it’s under your bed.”

Mimicking her mother’s pretend calm, Lea also closed her eyes. Anika had told her to breathe and count when she felt the anger overwhelming her.

1 … I’ve checked everywhere! … 2 … It’s important. … 3 … She lied … 4 … She really looked like she knew nothing … 5 …

“That would be great. Thank you, mom. Gotta go now.”

“But your cereal …”

The moment the teacher finished her last sentence, the school bell rang. Immediately, the classroom erupted into organized chaos. Students were busy writing down the homework and packing their bags, talking about after-school activities.

Like everyone else Lea just wanted to get her jacket and get out of the loud and crowded environment. Then she saw Liam approaching her. A quick glance around told her that it was safe to talk to him. Everyone was busy. It was time to go home. Not making eye contact, she closed her bag. Just when he stopped next to her desk, she looked up, trying to look indifferent to curious eyes.

“Going home?”

“Well, duh. Why?”

Liam shot her one of his radiant smiles and Lea frowned. A quick glance around told her that Magda had already spotted them.

Go away! Leave me alone.

“Found this on the floor. Your name’s on it.”

A folded paper, looking as if it had been ripped out of a notebook, was lying on his palm. Black ink. An unknown scrawl showing her name.

“Did you read it?”

Another smile. No, a smirk.

“It’s not my name. Privacy of correspondence, you know.”

Rolling her eyes, she quickly grabbed the paper, feeling stares targeted at her.

“Thanks, I guess. Bye.”

“Hey … are you …”

But Lea didn’t bother to stop to let him finish. Rushing out of the classroom squeezing the note in her fist.

Must be a prank. Another one.

Just when her arm was through the second sleeve of her jacket, Magda tapped her on the shoulder. Snapping around, Lea managed to only stumble back half a step.

“So, what are you up to today?”

Confidence. I’m confident.

But her stomach felt like she had swallowed lava. A smile stapled to her lips, she faced the other girl.

Huh? Where are Sheela and Rina?

Magda had crossed her arms, mirroring Lea’s smile. Dark eyes focused on her as if they were in a staring contest.

“I’m going home. My mom’s caught me reading at night. So, now I’ve chores to do before she comes home.”

Heat crept up her neck.

Please, no red cheeks.

“Poor you. Then … you better hurry. But, just out of curiosity. Liam gave you something, right?”

Lea’s fingers tightened around the paper.

Of course you saw that. Stupid Liam!

“Yeah. I dropped a paper earlier. He found it on the floor. You see.”

Her hand plunged into her jacket pocket. Her fist opened. Fingers closed again.

“Homework: English page 37 – read and answer, Maths page 42 – No. 3 and 5, Social Studies …”

With a frown Magda threw the paper back at Lea. The girl didn’t react fast enough and the old note fell on the floor. Quickly, she crouched and stuffed the old note back into her pocket.

“Well, he’s quite nice.”

“You think so? I mean, he is the class representative.”

There was another scrutinizing look from the other girl, but Lea tried her mother’s noncommittal smile she had practiced in the mirror.

Empty eyes. Corners up. Tilt your head only a little.

“You’re right. Well, then you better hurry. Have fun with your chores.”

“Sure. See you tomorrow.”

Magda turned around. Lea’s smile turned into a grin. Shouldering her bag and her hands around the original paper, Lea hurried out of the building.

Sitting cross-legged on her bed, Lea stared at the paper in front of her. It was more crumpled than before. Her palms were sweaty and her thoughts were buzzing. The scrawl was difficult to read but there was no doubt that it was meant for her.

“The cat dusnt work. Do it agen. We need mor.“