Out with the Old, In with the New

I’m waiting for Gerry to come home. It was a simple task; go to my ex-husband’s home (I no longer think of it as my old home) and pick up some winter clothes for me. My ex-husband is called Kim. He’s not a bad man, but I don’t trust him around me.

Kim and I had – have – a really toxic relationship. When we first met, we were both young and open to new experiences. We experimented with everything, and I do mean everything. If we wanted to, we could blackmail each other for years. Here’s the joy of Mutually Assured Destruction. We can’t pull that trigger without hitting ourselves as well. But when we see each other, things tend to explode.

Gerry seems like the ideal go-between. A friend to both of us, as far as Kim is aware. And it’s a good time of year to reclaim my winter coats and sweaters. When I left the house in June, I packed light. The main idea was to put distance between the two of us before Kim found out I was divorcing him.

Kim doesn’t know that Gerry and I are living together now. Kim doesn’t have any contact information for me, and I have deleted my social media accounts and email, changed my phone number, and electronically disappeared. I have been checking on Kim, and he hasn’t moved a new girlfriend into the house yet. A new woman would certainly want to get rid of all my belongings – I think Kim is keeping them in case I decide to come back. Not gonna happen. Whoever he’s seeing, he must go to their place (knowing Kim as I do, they could be any sex, but he sticks to women for “official” relationships).

Still no Gerry. I’m starting to get nervous. It’s a simple errand, picking up winter clothes. Kim should understand. Maybe he’s delaying, trying to get Gerry to tell him where I am. I can see him doing that. He’d really like to confront me, but that would be dangerous for me. I have to stay hidden. Once Gerry gets back, we can get ready to leave the country.

I went to school with Gerry. We met Kim ten years ago while we were all in college. Kim and I were wild and crazy, Gerry was a calming influence. Coming from a crime family apparently makes you stable and responsible at an early age. Kim and I played with drugs and sex, gambling and petty crimes. If your definition of petty crimes includes car theft and a few street fights. Gerry’s connections had to get us out of a few tricky situations.

I started to fall in love with Gerry as my relationship with Kim crumbled. Gerry had been my rock all this time. And Kim was like a bad habit I couldn’t kick. It was Gerry’s idea to steal from Kim’s bosses. Kim was their accountant, and he kept all their banking information and passwords encrypted on his laptop.

I knew Kim well enough to figure out how to decrypt the files and copy them to a thumb drive. I sat on them all these months, waiting for an opportunity to siphon off funds and run away. I deliberately hid the files in the house when I left. Kim had no idea that I’d managed to get the banking information. With luck, he’ll never figure out what I did.

Gerry is bringing me some sweaters, a winter jacket, and a thick felted wool coat. The coat has the thumb drive sown into a heavy seam. As soon as I have the coat, I’ll unpick the seam and load up the files and start moving funds around. It’s Saturday, so there’s a good chance that no one will notice until Monday, by which time we’ll be on a flight. We chose parts of the old Soviet Union, where Gerry’s family exerts a lot of control, and there are no extradition treaties.

If they can trace the theft, Kim will be left holding the ball. Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy. He may guess it was me, but there’s nothing he can do about it.

Still waiting for Gerry. I can picture the two of them having a beer, talking about the old days, while Kim tries to get information about me. Gerry won’t tell him about us. Our carefully concocted cover story is that I reached out to Gerry and asked for a favor. Gerry is to pick up the clothes and deliver them to me at a prearranged location. That kind of handover is not unknown in Gerry’s world.

Kim knows he can’t outdrink Gerry. There will be no drinking of shots. Just a relaxed afternoon drinking beer and reminiscing, talking about our wedding and the huge fight at the reception. Gerry’s big brother Max, who is the size of a wardrobe, had to force us apart, and we left on separate honeymoons, reuniting a few days later after we’d both calmed down.

I wish Gerry would text, let me know what’s going on. I have a glass of wine to steady my nerves. I stare at my left hand. The platinum engagement and wedding rings were cut off my finger by the jeweler who bought them. The marriage had been a messy mistake, and it seemed fitting that my finger remained swollen for the duration of it, so I’d never been able to take them off.

The glass of wine is empty already. I can’t have another one. I need to be sober to deal with the financial transactions when Gerry gets home. Transfer the funds into my overseas accounts, terminate my lease on the house, paying rent for the next two months to delay any need for the landlord to visit before we go, then we disappear like thieves in the night.

I can’t settle. I’m walking around the room – pacing is probably a better term. I have my phone in my hand, constantly checking to see if I’ve missed a call or a text. I sit back down on the sofa and skim through old photos on the phone. Gerry and me as teenagers on an old vacation. The three of us partying at the club. Pictures from that disastrous wedding reception. Kim had disappeared for half an hour, and when he reappeared, I knew he’d been with someone else. Not a deal breaker on an ordinary day, but this was my wedding, dammit! I remember punching him, throwing things, him hitting me and screaming that I was out of control. Then Max’s huge body between us, stopping further damage. And then Gerry grabbing my arm and pulling me out of the room.

A horrible thought hits me. Was Gerry with Kim that day? It was Gerry’s idea, not mine, to steal from Kim’s employers. Is she going to leave the country with me, or is she going away with him? Or is she taking the money and ditching us both?

Still waiting to hear from Gerry. I don’t know if I can keep it together much longer.