Blindness

The wine was tastier than any other time.

Arwan swallowed a large amount in one go, not giving a shit about how it ran from the corner of his mouth.

This fucking world was finally paying him back for all the miseries it had put in his way during his whole life. Now, it was his turn to look down on everyone and everything, even the death itself.

Maybe it was the longing that made this moment feel much more satisfying. Whatever it was, he had no plan of wasting it.

He won, and that's the only thing he was going to think about at the moment.

'But did you really win?'

The familiar sound filled his head and made him roll his eyes. Once he turned his head to the left, his dark, cynical companion was there, leaning against the wall with crossed arms. Her dark cloak was covering her long silky hair and her skin was paler than ever.

He hadn't seen her since yesterday, when the new king finally succeeded in arresting all the former royals. He immediately ordered a public execution for them in two days.

Arwan could admit this amount of rush was pathetic, full of fear, distrust and the wrong message for neighboring rulers. But of course, he was not there to give advice to the new king. He would prefer to leave that for his majesty’s counselors.

The only important thing was that his career was in full support due to their beneficial deal. It was safe to say that this king was aware of the significant role of smuggling and underground trading.

Arwan raised an eyebrow at her sight. “Is this supposed to make me doubt, Pearl?”

As her nose wrinkled, a smirk came to his face. Well, it was her decision to not tell him her name in the first place. Obviously, he needed to call her something!

'If I were you, I would pay more attention to my surroundings, Captain!'

Arwan frowned but didn't get the chance to respond when someone knocked on the old wooden door.

With one last calculated look at her wicked smile, he looked away. “Come in!”

Once the office door opened, Arwan had completely forgotten about those shining eyes.

His loyal assistant came in.

“Where have you been all this time? We have to celebrate!” Arwan said to his old friend while shaking the bottle in the air. Then, without giving him time to talk, he snapped his fingers and a new chair appeared on the other side of his messy working desk. “You came at the exact right time. I just wanted to open my oldest bottle. You lucky bastard!”

Arwan stood up and reached for the drawer next to his desk when his friend's voice stopped him.

“I'm not going to stay for a long time. Just wanted to talk with you before…” he took a deep breath. “leaving.”

“Oh, don't rush it. You can join others later.” He took the bottle out. “ I doubt you could find this wine downstairs.” A joyful laugh escaped his mouth.

Today was the day off. He had given permission to all of his spies, assassins and thieves to celebrate and have fun. Of course, there were some of them still on duty for obvious safety issues but that was not the case for Roham.

They had gone through many things together and each time came out of the storm stronger, with more courage to reach their goals.

It was their victory.

At that thought, his hands paused briefly before grabbing the bottle. “By the way, where are Leila and Cyrus?”

“Arwan.”

“You should've brought them with you.”

“Arwan.”

“ Leila will probably get jealous of us drinking but well, she can have all my wines after giving birth. I swear!"

“Arwan!”

The sharp tone made him raise his hands in surrender, while whistling. “What?”

“I'm leaving the town, Captain.”

Silence filled the room as the words echoed, followed by a long, drunken laugh. No matter how hard Arwan tried to stop, it only got worse until tears filled his eyes.

Leaving the town.

Such a meaningless sentence! Especially after reaching what they wanted all these years.

Roham was never a good joker. Every time he tried to be funny, it became awkward, but Arwan could tell that he had made some progress.

After finally getting his control back, Arwan wiped his tears while still keeping a smile. “I'm happy you've finally learned how to be funny.” He opened the bottle with a pop. “Now, let's drink to this big family!”

It took him a moment to realize Roham hadn't moved.

His friend's green eyes were fixed on him. His lips were pressed together. No smile. No warmth.

“I'm not joking.” he shakes his head. “As I said, I'm leaving. My stuff is already packed.”

Each word took his sweet time to make any sense in Arwan's head. It was like he couldn't process the stupid shit that was happening.

He was so lost in his mind that he didn't realize when Pearl got closer and sat on the corner of his desk, next to him.

Time passed and he could only manage to open his mouth and throw some words out. “What…do you mean…”

“This is just a good bye.”

Arwan’s hands became red as he tightened them around the engraved edge of the desk. He blinked several times in a ridiculous attempt to make sure it was his friend who was standing in front of him. The same friend who had shaken hands with him ten years ago before starting their business.

“So, are you just leaving us? Your family? For what?” He growled.

“There is no family here!” He crossed his arms, making an unbreakable wall between them. Arwan could sense it.

“Of course, there is a family here!” He shouted. “You, Cyrus, Leila…and me!”

Roham’s next words made his knees shake and he could swear that after years of practice to predict people's next move so that he could dodge, a fist found its way to his stomach, taking his breath.

“They've already left. I'm..the last one!”

Time and space lost their meaning.

“What…?”Arwan couldn't believe that the weak, broken sound belonged to him. “There must be a mistake. There is no way they’d leave without telling me. Leila would never do that.” He shook his head with force.

What was happening? Sure, his sister would guard her heart by being sarcastic and carefree, but that was because of their awful upbringing. Nothing else! Arwan would do anything for her. The same way she would protect him in her own way.

And also, she was pregnant. There was no way she would risk the life of that baby by going to another place that only god knows how far it is.

“The fact that you didn't notice their absence in these three days, says a lot about this family.”

Arwan's whole body got numb.

'Not so polite of them!' Pearl's fingers start to tap on the wood rhythmically.

“shut up.” Arwan whispered.

'Why are you mad at me? They've left you and I am the one getting all the growls and frowns? Not so fair if you ask me, Captain!'

“I said shut up.” This time he snapped through clenched teeth.

“Who are you talking to…?..wait..” Roham’s eyes widened all of a sudden and Arwan could see how his cold expression turned into something people could rarely see on his face. Horror.

Arwan said nothing.

“Are you still using that forbidden magic? ” He pushed his pale blond hair back. “I can't believe it, Arwan! You know playing with devilish spells will cost your life, you idiot!..”

His friend was nagging like the old times but Arwan was not able to concentrate on his words. His mind was full of thoughts and questions.

'Oh, I hate these spineless people. At least, you like challenges.'

Imagining Pearl's rolling eyes while saying those words was not hard. But there was no power for him to say anything in response.

Instead after a time which felt like centuries, he could finally move his tongue. “Why?”

“Why? Good question. Where should I start?” He smirked. “Maybe the fact that you've sacrificed everything and everyone for reaching this position.”

“I didn't sacrifice you guys!” Arwan shouted.

“Yes, you did. It's been a long time that you've been on your own. You stopped listening. You pushed us away. And now look what that left us with.” His fist got tighter. “Lots of enemies and people who curse you every night before sleep. ”

“And now people's opinions are important to you?” Arwan smirked before drinking from the bottle.

“Good people's do.”

“For god's sake, we are criminals. We are not supposed to make people satisfied.”

“That doesn't mean we have to become monsters and hurt them.”

The memory of last week makes Arwan nauseous.

One of his high status clients who was close to the new king has asked him to bomb an area with his special fairy dust. It was a good deal. It helped him to make good progress with the king.

But it came with some unwanted outcomes.

“I didn't know he was planning to kill ordinary people.”

It was after that scream-filled night that Arwan figured out the real plan and that it was not their first time to do that.

Killing ordinary people and blaming the former king for that. So, people would support the change of reign.

“Of course you didn't. You got completely blind the moment you realized that man could help with securing your position. ”

“So, just one mistake and you guys are ready to leave me, huh?”

“Don't you really get it?” Roham shook his head in disbelief. “You've been out of your mind for a long time. Your sister was so patient with you but breaking our first rule was your most unforgivable action.”

Silence shadows on the room once again and it takes Only one blink for Arwan to travel in time.

He could hear his own sound as they were around the cheap table in the old house. Saying those words proudly and forcefully. In a way that you couldn't guess he would be the one to break it.

‘We will destroy only corrupted officials. The same monsters who have a good life because of people's sufferings.’ His smile was full of hope back then. ‘From now on we will keep these tired people safe!’

“She was scared, Arwan. Not for herself but for the baby.”

A dagger was deep in his chest. There can be no other reason for the pain he was feeling. His sister was scared of him. She felt so threatened that didn't even say goodbye.

“You have changed the same way we all changed. It's just…I’m not able to see this new you and don’t hate you.” He paused and Arwan saw his friend's eyes, became wet. “That's why I'm leaving.”

“Then just go!” Arwan whispered.

“You know that…”

“Get out!” He roared like an injured bear this time.

Something crossed Roham's face. Disappointment.

“Goodby, Arwan.” Then the door clicked.

'It was dramatic, wasn't it?' Pearl raised an eyebrow.

Time passed and he stayed in the same body position. Fisting the papers on the desk and staring at a point in the carpet.

His head was throbbing and all the good and bad memories were drowning him. Something was stuck in his throat and swallowing was impossible.

He didn't know how he managed but at some point he started walking and soon found himself on the balcony. The one that he was so proud of since it had a full view of the town.

The sun was setting and the sky was a palette of pink, purple and blue. It could be a beautiful scene if it wasn't interrupted by flames and thick layers of smoke everywhere. It was the exact definition of chaos.

How was that he couldn't see it sooner?

“I guess you were right. I didn't win.” Arwan's voice was weak and raspy, like he's been screaming for a long time.

'Victory's definition is different for everyone.' Pearl's voice raised and she appeared beside him.

“I've lost them.” He whispered as if he was talking with the wind.

She leaned closer, her red lips near his ear. 'No one is ever just the victor or loser. They are always both, Captains.'

With that she kissed his cheek and disappeared as if she was never there.