8 of Snakes

“How can you tell if somebody loves you?”

“Is this a question you ask me or the cards?”

The girl’s hand hovered over the deck of cards, fanned out in a picture-perfect semi-circle. Small white skulls were looking at him, their eyeholes dark like a black hole.

“I’m asking you. At least I think. You told me there is a way to predict my future, so you seem to know a lot.” Deniz expected her to laugh, but instead she slapped her manicured hand down on the cards.

“I can’t predict. This is important to know. I’m no weather forecast of a kind. And it’s the cards, not me. Now pick one.”

“Since it’s the cards, can I do the same?”

Now she laughed, but not funnily, rather as if she was laughing about him.

“As long as you can read it. There are forces in our universe we are unable to fully understand and that is fine. But when these entities want to tell you something, you have to read. Or you’ve been warned without getting it.”

“Just like a doctor’s appointment. When you don’t go, the danger is just enhancing.”

The shop girl knocked on the table, as if reminding him that there were things he had to do. Hastily, Deniz took one of the cards, pulling it out whilst destroying the artwork the shop girl laid down before. As an artist himself, Deniz felt even more worried of destroying the perfect circle than he worried about the card’s front. “Turn it around.”, she demanded him.

It was an 8. A snake in a venom-green colour, perfectly laid scales covered her body, which was forming the number.

“An interesting card.” She said that in a way that made Deniz shiver. Did he actually want to know what this was about?

“Can you imagine what the eights stands for?” she asked him.

This was pretty easy. There were several shapes like this in the store. But just horizontally. “It’s the symbol for infinity.”

“Yes.” She actually clapped her hands and Deniz started to feel as if in school again. Although he just left.

“Infinity is a symbol of something that stays with you for an exceptionally long time. Mostly, infinite abstracts have stayed with you for a long time already. The snake, on the other hand, shows the nature of this abstract.”

“I’ve never had a snake in my life. Except people count as well.” He knew a few people he would see as one. Former members of his band. A teacher. One of his exes.

“They don’t. Neither do animals. It’s about features or energies that follow you. And of course, for every person, the snake can be something different.”

This explained almost nothing. Deniz had the urge to just stand up and leave. But he had to pay and fumbling out money now was way too much to exit nonchalantly.

“What can the snake stand for, for example?”, he asked instead.

“One client told me he felt specifically in control of his own body. Just like a snake he was able to move more controlled and flexible. He took a seven, so his flexibility was paired with luck and it saved him from a car crash.”

This, to him, sounded like the biggest lie. Why did he even enter this shop? He just wanted to look for something that give possibly bring him luck at the next gig. Some charm maybe. But here he was, his future being “predicted”

“You didn’t make this up?”, he asked. It should have sounded jokingly, but came off dead serious.

The shop girl rolled her eyes, but only jokingly. At least, Deniz hoped.

“It would be more creative then. Another person told me they developed toxic traits in relationships.”

“Maybe this will be my fate forever.” He had to exit this shop, it was weird enough he was spending so much time here. He didn’t even believe in things beyond the material world. Maybe Micah would, since he even played the lottery waiting for his big win. But Deniz, probably never.

He was about to stand up as the shop girl took out something from under the table. “I can give you this. No matter what your future beholds for you, this stone will attract positive energy from around you.” In her palm lay a deep-blue stone, etched on the sides, rugged like salt but shiny like a diamond. Beautiful.

“Do you think I need it?” he asked.

“Everybody can use a little bit of positive energy. And who knows, maybe this stone will tell you if somebody loves you.”

She had him there. “But you can’t?”

She shook her head. “I’m no force of nature. Only a shop girl who can read cards.”

“As long as you are working here, your interest seems to be selling me stuff, right?”

“Take it or leave it.”

Deniz didn’t even believe in stuff like entities or forces of nature. But if this stone attracted positive energy, could it maybe also attract people? “Does this thing work?”

“If magic existed you would find it capitalized in a shop like this, transferred by a woman looking like me: Red hair, rings, black nail polish. What people called a witch back then. So, this will be the closest to magic you will ever get.”

----

“Thanks for listening. We are Heavy on Light and we love the support you give us.”

In the back rows people were chanting “Play again” for the second time this evening already. But the bar’s director explicitly told them there was no chance they could play longer than 10 o’clock. “I’m sorry, but the police orchestrated it. We have very precise neighbours here, especially when it comes to noises.” But the applause now, it could have been noise too. But for Deniz, it was the most beautiful one.

“We rocked that.” James, the drummer said. They patted each other’s back, like they always did after a great concert.

“This was lit.” Amy pointed in the direction of the people out there, still not wanting to leave the small bar. “I’ve never seen so many people watching us.”

Deniz just nodded. His eyes were fixed entirely on something else. Someone else actually. Micah was still rolling up his microphone’s cable, having said nothing about the show yet. How do I if someone loves me? Deniz didn’t get an answer at the shop this morning. But Micah’s distance couldn’t be interpreted that positively, right?

“I’m quickly gonna go outside.”, he hissed and stepped on the small balcony. Fresh air surrounded him, blowing his hair in every direction. Deniz didn’t smoke, but a smoking break after a concert, alone on the balcony, surrounded by wind, that would be just his thing.

On the other end of the balcony, some man was watching him. Something told him he’d seen him already, probably during the concert. Still, the guy’s gaze made him slightly uncomfortable. Deniz was just standing here, staring into the sky and going nothing except feeling lovesick and letting this feeling distract him from the success he just had.

“Are you Deniz Montguerrí?” He hadn’t realized the guy was standing next to him and startled.

“Sorry, yeah.”

“You were playing wonderfully.”

“Oh thanks.” Deniz’ distraction vanished. Heat rose up his face. It felt quite nice having people tell you that.

“How long are you playing the bass already?”

It seemed like the guy was some kind of fan maybe. Was it that far that Heavy on Light had fans already? Unbelievable.

“I play since I’m seven. So almost fifteen years now.”

“You are good. Just as I said. I’m looking for a talent like you.”

Wait, what? Heat rose inside Deniz’ cheeks.

“If you like, apply for the program at Winter school.” He took a flyer out of his breast pocket. “Deadline is tomorrow though.”

----

“You applied for what?” Micah, hallway in his sip of tea, froze in his movement. Deniz had just called him, asking for a meet-up. A date, although he didn’t use that word.

“I had to. The man told me I had a chance.”

Micah's eyebrows moved up. “The man, whose name was what?”

Deniz didn’t remember. Of course, he didn’t, because he was sure he didn’t even ask for one. He just accepted the flyer, smiling his biggest joker smile ever, so glad for this chance he didn’t think about formalities.

“I threw the flyer into the mailbox at Winter school, so I can’t even show it to you, but you must believe me.”

“I do”, Micah said, finally drinking his tea uninterrupted. “I just wonder that you took the flyer, filled it out, rode the whole way to this school out there and everything without saying something.”

“I’m sorry.” Deniz didn’t feel it truly, only guilt. What should he have done? Surely, the others would be unsure, telling him that they should stay together. But they could, if Deniz’ application didn’t work out. But if it did, Deniz had a priority.

“You know I could become actually big with this.”

“We are already big. Have you seen it yesterday?”

He had. But had Micah? He seemed so distracted. “You haven’t talked to me yesterday.”

“I wanted to.”

“You wanted to?” It was now that Deniz realized Micah had tears in his eyes.

“What’s happening?”

“I can’t bear to see you going somewhere else.”

As Micah’s head sunk against his shoulder, heavy but light, just like in their band’s name, Deniz didn’t knew if he’d won or lost. But as their eyes met and Micah’s became dreamy; as Deniz moved down to lay his lips on his best friend’s ones, he felt like life was giving him what he wanted. Micah’s finger traced his neck, fumbled around the stone Deniz bought at the magical shop just yesterday. Seems like something about it worked. And so, he knew, they would figure it out. He applied for Winter school. He got Micah. How else could he be happier?

---

It became a habit for Deniz to stand up at 6 every morning. To go for a walk, picking blueberries from the bushes to eat after breakfast. It became a habit to tap rhythms for new songs on the table while listening to music theory lectures. And it became a habit for him to just learn it by heart, directly from the lecture. When he went home, he could recall almost every word their professor used. He never had to learn for exams. The first two ones he rounded up with an A. And before the first year passed he was hold famous for his knowledge.

He only missed Micah. Sometimes he forgot how it felt having him at his side, but when he laid down alone, he fell asleep in seconds, his endorphins coursing in his system.

Still, they called every day.

“I have to tell you.” Micah was obviously somewhere outside, since traffic noise and people talking were making it hard for Deniz to understand.

“What is it? You have to tell something.”

“I won the lottery.”

The heck?

It turned out that Micah actually won four thousand dollars. Four thousand. Deniz didn’t even know how much that was calculated into basic things like groceries. He’s never possessed such a big number of dollars.

---

It was on his way to Micah that somebody crashed his car. A black SUV came cruising from the right, while the traffic light was painted a blood red. The crash was ugly in sound. Bursting metal, a crack of glass. Deniz remembered it as a high pitched noise in his ears, ringing like a broken smoke detector.

Micah had to pick him up from the hospital. His legs were scratched, but otherwise Deniz felt healthy. Besides the big shock he got. His fingers had just stopped trembling when Micah came through the door, holding a bouquet of flowers in his hand. That was his guy.

“They took my things, but couldn’t find my necklace.” Deniz remarked as Micah walked him home. It was almost an hour, but Deniz decided to take distance from a car for the next couple of days.

“At least I have money to pay for the healthcare.” It was supposed to be a joke, but Deniz didn’t laugh. He clutched his neck, where the stone was now missing. “I think insurance will get it done.”

“True.”, Micah’s voice was still light. “You’ve seen to be lucky enough lately.”

It was a statement Deniz came to think about a lot for the next days. He skipped university for a week, laid in bed until 10 and ate plain bread without the urge to put anything on there. Usual behaviour, at least for past Deniz. Since going to Winter School, his behaviour changed a lot much.

Now, he was staring out the window, watching as dark clouds gathered on the sky, darkening his view.

“What’s your sad face about?”, Micah came from behind and hugged him. But the rush of endorphin didn’t want to come.

After three months, they parted. Deniz chose not to attend training with his band. He hadn’t played the bass for weeks. Neither did he go to university. There was something he had to do in his life, he knew. But he felt too tired for anything. Song ideas kept away from him. When before, he could rhyme random words that appeared in his head, there was only a dense grey fog now, obscuring his perspective on beauty.

When Micah broke up with him, he went back to his small room at the campus. He cancelled it beforehand and planned on moving in with his parents. Again. Couldn’t be worse.

But the first thing he saw, when he went inside, his apartment door softly closing behind him, was something on his table. Blue and shiny. His stone. He never even wore it on the drive. And so, he started weeping.

It was a fifty-dollar note that changed his mind. When he opened one of his dusty widows, it just flew in.

The hell?

There was obviously something very very wrong.

---

The shop girl in Magical Mysteries was the same as last time. And she recognized him directly.

“Found out how to tell if they love you?”

Deniz didn’t know if to laugh or if to cry. Tears spilled out of his eyes anyways. Just before he entered, he had seen a new message from Micah. Asking if he was alright and suggesting that they talked about the situation.

“Maybe I did.” Deniz quietly answered. “But I don’t want it.”

“To find out if they love you. Boy, if they don’t, at least you know.”

“I don’t want this anymore.” And he threw the stone on the counter, heavy and with a big chunky sound.

“What did it attract?” Was she joking? Was the shop girl actually acting as if she didn’t know? With her genuine smile and her open eyes?

Deniz didn’t answer. He only entangled the chain and let it drop next to the stone.

“So, you don’t want to attract any luck?”

“I don’t want to be depended on this one.”

And as she gave a little laugh, Deniz realized, for the first time, that she didn’t believe in it. That this was never a magic item. That actually, she was right when telling him that there was no real magic he could get with five dollars. And that maybe it had nothing to do with the stone at all.

“You were an 8 of snakes, right?” she asked softly.

Deniz just nodded, the image of the infinity-symbolized snake burned in his mind.

“Magic is what you believe in.” she just said. As if that would explain anything.

“I never believed in it.” But didn’t he?

“You never checked your back? You never thought yourself exceptionally good at anything? You never wondered if there was something wrong?”

There was the guy with the flyer. There was Micah. The Winter school, his success. There was Micah winning the lottery. And there was the other side. The car accident. Micah and him breaking up. His depression. And then a fifty-dollar note.

“Do you believe in coincidences?”, the shop girl asked. For the first time he looked at her name plate. Miranda. Of course, there was a name. There was a story. A whole life lay behind this person. But for Deniz, she still felt like an illusion. Like a shadow. And he felt so too. Like a puppet on a string. Only that the string was around his neck and decorated with a stone.

“I don’t think I believe in coincidences.”

“Then there must be a clear story for you. Everything has to be connected. One way or another. You will make a correlation out of nothing. And maybe this is your snake.”

“You don’t sell magic here, right?”

“We sell stories. But it seems like you are even better in telling them.”

He left without his stone. Gifted it to Miranda, who just happened to wear it herself. Eerie, the whole thing. As a bike passed him, he barely looked up. “Watch you step.”, the biker yelled at him.

So, was it luck that he didn’t got hit? Or unlucky how he got almost run over?

Seems like perspective was more than he imagined it after all.

Then, he called Micah.