Chrysalis

I lifted my face to the fragile sunshine and smiled for the first time in three days. The air was fresh and filled me with a restless invigoration. Although I had always loved my home, I had been feeling out of place for the last few months, confined when I longed to be free. I could feel a change come over me, day by day, until my skin felt it would burst from keeping it in.

The storm of the last three days, and indeed those which had come before it, had heralded my inevitable acquiescence to the pull inside me. My mother had told me this day would come, and I would have no choice; just as the caterpillar must transform, so must I.

I set out. In this, I experienced my first hesitation. I had told no one what I was feeling, what was happening to me. Although those closest to me had always known I would leave, and could not but suspect the time drew near, I felt unequal to the farewells which must proceed such a discussion. I longed for the transformation, longed for this new me, and I somewhat greedily wanted to keep the experience for myself. I wanted them to wonder, to think of me with concern, and perhaps slight envy for my wild and free heart. And when I returned to their unchanging company I wanted to bask in the glow of wonder which would surely emanate from them.

Thoughts of my family and childhood playmates soon faded from my mind. I had been as far as the second town over with my mother - we had needed to purchase precious needle and thread, and our little village was ill-equipped to supply us. When I passed over the hill on the other side of this town, I was breathless with anticipation. Here, at this exact location, I could say my adventure began. Here I was remade into a new person, completely bereft of all material items which had previously composed the whole of me. I trekked ever forward, and came to a location which exposed the entirety of the valley of my birth to my eyes. The sky was still grayish in spots, recovering from the deluge which had driven all living things to seek cover. Magnificent rainbows dotted the tree tops, however, and the valley looked as though a painting, seeming almost overly perfect. Reluctantly I turned. What the future held for me, I felt sure, lay not in the path behind. Resolutely, I filed this final glimpse of my home into my mind and continued on my journey.

The sun had fallen to nearly the treetops when I decided to make camp. The area I rested in was a moderately sized clearing which had fallen out of the path of the worst of the storm. I made fire with the driest wood available. Stories of highway robbers and vagabonds filled my mind, and I took the precaution of setting simple traps to warn me of those who may approach. Quickly, the light began to steal from the sky, and darkness pressed from every corner of the forest.

Although my fire was warm, and I chilled to the bone, I climbed into a tree and made a simple nest to sleep in. Often when I hunted did I use this arrangement - most animals did not look up. I managed to rest for what felt like a couple of hours, until I awoke suddenly in the cool pre-dawn light.

At first, I did not perceive what had woken me. I lay still and unmoving, allowing my breath to pass silently from my mouth. I could hear, now, the slight rustling and cracking which meant another living being was upon my campsite. No heavy sighs or hoofbeats reached my ears; I did not believe a foraging animal was below.

My heart beat loudly in my chest. I opted to wait for a moment longer to suss out any potential opponent, and then cautiously brought my face around to peer from my makeshift platform. Through the sticks and the leaves, I caught sight of a nondescript movement. A second’s further observation made it clear to me that turquoise fabric was within my sight, as well as smooth golden skin. A tinkling laugh filtered in to me, and gruff sounds of mild disagreement from another character.

The duo was on the edge of the clearing, and had just now seen my little fire.

“See, Merik! I told you I could see smoke!” The owner of the tinkling laugh exclaimed in triumph. I could see her more clearly now. She stood at diminutive height, and wore a loose traveling outfit, seemingly meant for warmer locales than we currently inhabited. A growl from several feet behind her drew my eye to her companion. He was huge, seeming even more massive in height in comparison to her small stature.

“We are not looking for trouble, Misandra. This fire can mean nothing good for us. And look, the embers still smolder. Whatever being left this fire is not far from here. We must remain careful and vigilant.”

She laughed again, this radiant little creature. “Oh Merik! You make me smile with how much you worry. Who would threaten us? You, with the blood of Thorg of Aranstone running through your veins! And I, who has wandered these realms for millennia. We are safe by the sheer virtue of our beings. We are not to be easily brushed from the face of the earth.” At this, Misandra the shimmering being, turned and gazed into my eyes.

So startled was I, so completely unprepared for this occurrence, that I lost my balance and fell from my perch.

A musical laughter issued forth of such unbridled mirth that for a moment I felt untethered from the earth below. The following moment, unfortunately, reminded me of how the air had been driven from my lungs, and I gasped with the ache of it. I was aware of rustling, and then the duo stood above me.

Her eyes swirled as she looked down at me. Truly, here stood a creature whom I could not have pictured. I was entranced. A thumping within made me aware of my heartbeat, but also of the other thing lying just beneath. I felt a boundless connection to this being, drawn in a way I had yet to experience in this lifetime.

She smiled as she turned to Merik. “There, see, there is nothing to worry about. Just a fledgling, perfect for our needs! And look how beautiful he is. His skin like honey, his eyes of a jewel green. Yes, this is what I felt pulled to. He will do perfectly!” Her voice was like music, mesmerizing for its subtle intonations.

Merik glared first at his companion, and then at me. “No, Misandra! You are wrong here. Something is different with this one. We must exercise caution when we are so close to our goal. We must not be reckless now.” His voice was deep, gravelly, and full of grave conviction. He was, however, brushed off.

“Merik, it’s not like you to be so paranoid! Besides, I was just speaking of needing an attendant, and as always, the bountiful wilderness has provided! We must not besmirch this gift from the Mother, who aids in our journey.” And with that she stooped and smiled into my face. “Come, little pet, we will take care of you now.”

I sat up, and then stood, allowing the brief head-rush to subside. I was feeling in awe of these two, and grateful for the adventure seemingly before me.

“Now tell us, pet, would you like to come with us? Do you want to help us?” A drowsiness stole over me, and the thumping within beat harder at the confines of my body. My breath quickened. A yearning grew within my chest. I wanted. I needed. The voice inside whispered Soon, and I could not tell where Misandra ended and I began.

My voice was choked, “Yes. Yes, I want to help. Please. Please allow me to accompany you.” The beating calmed down now, subsiding to a low purr.

“Of course, pet, of course. You may help us. Now, how about you start that fire back up, and we’ll cook some of this rabbit we caught along the way?” She said it with a sweet charm, as if we were long lost friends. Dazed, with the thumping still echoing below my skin, I began the assigned task.

The day passed as, following the meal, our mismatched little party set off. I felt in a haze, wading through atmosphere at least twice as thick as was usual. My feet did not want to move, and twice the temptress laughed as I stumbled. On the second blunder, she exclaimed “Oh, this one is so clumsy! Look Merik, look how sweet he looks. And you wanted us to leave him!” Merik seemed not to share in his companion’s amusement, and once more stared hard into my eyes.

We continued on our path, which I was able slightly to notice followed my initial path to the north of my little valley. We took a side path and stayed far from the main road, and in my clouded thoughts I wondered whether these two were hiding from any specific pursuit. As I began to ponder the subject more thoroughly, however, the buttery expanse of skin Misandra flaunted once more became the object of my focus. She was in front of me, and seemed to be gliding through the forest. Finally, when dusk had settled so firmly around us that we could scarce see the members of our party, we stopped.

“Pet, oh pet, could you see if you could get us a neat little fire started? Like the one in the clearing?” She said it winsomely, with something more than sparkle behind the request. The thumping was louder than ever now - I mutely began my work.

The world had narrowed. I could see in front of me, the task I was completing. My vision was a tunnel. The thumping was overwhelming now. Not only my heart, but my whole being pounded with it. The fire was done. Her exultations about what a good boy I was, about how she was so happy I had helped her, came to me as if through water. Time slowed. My eyes dilated. Agony wracked my body. I came apart, rent in two, no, into a million pieces.

I shrieked with the pain and disorientation. Suddenly, I looked down on the scene I had just been a part of. The two travelers looked at what appeared to be my clothing. A stunned aura hung round them, and she cautiously poked the slumped pile.

Now, a hint of fear and surprise crept into her tone. “What just happened, Merik? Where did the boy go?” Her voice broke ever so slightly on the final syllable.

“Stand fast, Misandra. I told you, something was different about that one. I would bet we are not in the clear now.” His voice was tense, but in no way resigned. He scanned the area surrounding them with bright, alert eyes. He held his club at his side, ready to strike.

For my part, I seemed to be shadow. Or perhaps wind. Did the leaves rustle here, as I moved past? Or perhaps I dreamed the rustle. This did all seem like a dream.

I remember my mother telling me I would change. She had told me, “You are meant for great things, my son. Great, but terrible things.” Always, I had vowed to use what power I would have for good. I would not be drawn in to the lures of excess. But now, now I understood why she had never fully imparted to me what sort of creature I would be. For surely if I had known of this hunger, of this violent, all consuming desire to imbibe until I could imbibe no more, surely I would have been terrified. I felt boundless, as though I had no limits. But I also felt irrevocably tied to this location, and to these two beating hearts.

He was first. The thought did not come to me - more like a vague notion swayed at the back of my fragmented consciousness, and before I could reflect upon it, I was all around him, and then inside him, flowing in through his mouth and nose and ears and eyes. I knew he screamed. I felt the terror in a mind unused to feeling so strongly. I burned through, and with every inch I took, I felt more sated and yet more voracious. Greedy and insatiable, I took it all. I sucked up every last morsel, felt him dissolve until his spirit was my spirit. Everything that he had been, I could feel all at once. The crushing disappointment on his father’s face when he had decided to leave home, rather than follow the family’s legacy. The devastation when his mate had been killed in the great wars which tore the country asunder. The joy of meeting Misandra, and finding for a second a soul that was as lost as he, and as committed to the same glorious purpose. I felt him fill the confines of my spirit until I almost burst, and then I regained control.

With the influx of thoughts and rationality brought to me by Merik, and the bolster to my own stunned soul, I felt myself again. I was standing suddenly on the edge of the clearing. Misandra was in front of me, and I could see she was panicked. Her eyes showed white all around. A reflex within me shouted that she was prey, a little rabbit to hunt. I watched for a second longer, and no sooner had I the thought that I longed to be closer, than I was in front of her.

She seemed not to process for a moment what had occurred. But then, when her eyes focused on my face, she was stuck, unable to formulate a sentence. “Merik, what…?” She looked at me, closer, and the color drained from her face. The tinkling laughter was nowhere to be found. “What… What are you? Who be you, to take the form of Marik of Aranstone?”

I slithered and wafted, it felt like. I surrounded her. This time, I knew what was happening. In the part of me which was still me, I shouted in horror at what was occurring, but I could no more stop this heinous process than I could cease breathing in my corporeal form. At first a brush against her skin, and then when her heart beat faster and shallower, I conquered. The feeling was as no other. I was filled to the brim with an incandescent power. Everything contained within the person she had been filled me. I felt better than I could ever transmit, full of that quality which had so enamored me to her. Her lightness, her twinkle was mine. Pleasure deeper than I could have imagined scoured my body.

I could process now, I did have a body. My thoughts seemed to come ponderously, and then action followed in rapid, disjointed order. No sooner had a noticed I took solid form than I was examining it. Aspects of my old form greeted me, with startling changes. I stood taller than I had ever experienced, and had expanses of golden skin. I felt strong, more so than I could ever remember. I felt invincible. Thoughts of what had happened, of the two travelers, were fading from my mind. I remembered not their names, nor their faces. For truly, there was no them. There was only me.