The Midway

Tomasina Bach was lost.

Not literally. She was taking the same route from the parking lot to her job at her uncle’s arcade and carousel in the rundown lakeside midway located in the tiny beach village where three generations of her family had spent their summers. She’d taken the same walk six days a week for the last month. Ever since her father gave her “The Ultimatum”: Get a job, go work for your uncle or get out of the house!

No, Tomasina (Tomi to everyone outside of her family) was lost in the existential way someone in their mid-twenties is when they fall flat on their face and have to go crawling back to their childhood bedroom. Tomi was lost because life had shown her that she wasn’t as smart or as strong or as likeable as she thought she was.

Graduating from college, it seemed like the sky was the limit. She had three job offers to choose from. She found a great little apartment. Within weeks of starting her dream job, she was dating a man who checked all the boxes. At twenty-two, the path before her was bright and sunny.

That, it turned out, was a mirage.

Within two years, the facade of the life she was building slipped and reality bitch slapped her. The apartment was condemned. The man was a cheating bastard. The job became a daily ordeal of backstabbing and office politics. When she crossed the wrong mean girl, Tomi quit before they could fire her and retreated home with her tail between her legs.

At first, her parents gave her space to be miserable and wallow in self pity. Her mother made her favorite meals. Her father deferred to her on what to watch on TV at night. They just wanted to see their only child happy and ready to face the world again. But their patience had worn thin. Months of moping and stagnation changed their sympathy to frustration. Gentle suggestions became angry comments. Hence “The Ultimatum”.

She kept her hat pulled low over her eyes as she passed the ticket booth with peeling paint, ignoring the young woman manning it who had given up trying to talk to Tomi. She dodged the carnival games with the outdated posters and blaring hair metal. The guys who ran those booths left her alone after she flipped them off for cat calling on her second day at the park.

Taking her position on the stool behind the cash register, she settled in for another day of watching kids with sticky hands play skeeball and parents grasping their precariously seated toddlers on carousel animals. The constant cacophony of bells and horns from the games and the oompah band soundtrack of the merry-go-round left her with a dull headache at all times. Her father thought this would spur her to get herself together but all it did was drive her deeper into a dark funk.

“This enough for a prize?” the child standing at the counter asked, piling his meager collection of tickets on the glass surface. Sighing, Tomi rose from her stool. Normally, she would tell the parents to use the automatic ticket counter across the arcade, but she didn’t see any parents. Plus, she could tell there weren’t enough tickets there to get anything.

Taking the few scraps of paper, she pretended to count them. “Looks like you have just enough for a sucker” she told him while digging a small lollipop out of the candy bucket behind the counter.

The child smiled broadly, his missing front teeth making him downright adorable. “Thanks!” he exclaimed, grasping the candy and running off.

The interaction brought a rare smile to Tomi’s face. As she watched the little boy find his mother and proudly display his prize, Tomi swore she felt breath on her neck and a chill ran down her spine.

Shit! He got too close. He knew the rules - observe and don’t engage. And he just violated them. Jack Scott’s soul had been tied to this place for forty years and until today, he had followed the rules set out for him.

Jack’s spirit wandered the midway since he was electrocuted while trying to restart the Buzz Bomber. Twenty-one years old, it was his last summer before college graduation. In a flash (no pun intended), it was all over.

But it wasn’t. Not really.

Jack had loved the midway since he was a little boy. He always said it was his favorite place on earth. It didn’t matter how rundown the rides got or how antiquated the games were or the fact that the lakeside village had shifted from a summer vacation spot to year round living. His affection for this little corner of the world would never change. Even when his life ended.

At first, it was confusing. He could still see everyone but no one saw him. He could hear them, even their softest whispers, but no one heard him when he screamed. The universe brought understanding over those first months and years. Over time, Jack found that he was grateful that this was where he died. He couldn’t imagine being stuck somewhere else for eternity.

He saw himself as “The Guardian of the Midway”, wandering between the rides and around the buildings, doing his best to protect this place and these people. He couldn’t do much, but he could shift wires in the old buildings to prevent them from bursting into flames and he could cause movement to catch a mother’s attention before her child got too far away. It gave him purpose and fulfillment.

The first day Tomi stepped onto the property to work, he felt her presence. He was drawn to the carousel where he immediately recognized her. Jack observed her running around the park for years. First, as a blonde little girl, dragging her parents from game to game, begging for one more dollar to win a cheap toy. Later, she was a tomboy, barreling through the walkways with a pack of cousins, a well worn Buffalo Sabers hat on her head. She grew into a beautiful, confident teenager, secure in her style and sense of self. For several summers, she showed up with different hair colors, but the same wide grin and headstrong attitude. As always happened with the children he watched grow up, her visits tapered off as she became an adult and she faded into memory.

She was back at the midway, but definitely not the same. Her blonde hair was dull, always pulled back into a tight ponytail. Her confident stance was now hunched as she tried to make herself as small and invisible as possible. The only thing that was the same was that Buffalo Sabers hat.

Jack watched her day in and day out. She didn’t smile. She didn’t chat with the parents or the kids. She didn’t engage with the other midway employees. She came in, did her job, and read her book on the slow days.

Today, observing her with that child, he felt a momentary shift. He saw the briefest of smiles on her face. He was drawn to the faint glow it gave her aura.

That’s why he got too close.

Tomi pulled down the last gate, securing the building for the night. She took her time, hoping that if she dragged her feet, her parents would be asleep when she got home. Any interaction with them turned into an argument these days, making her feel like even more of a loser.

As she went to turn off the last set of lights, she noticed some movement in the carousel control room. Remembering her uncle mentioning something about squirrels chewing on wires, she decided she better check it out before she left.

Stepping into the small space at the center of the merry-go-round, she searched for any signs of an unwanted animal squatter. Seeing none, she turned to exit. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a figure. The figure didn’t appear solid and the face of a young man floated above it. Startled, Tomi ran in the other direction. As she tried to climb past a brightly colored unicorn, she tripped and hit her head.

As everything faded to black, the figure came into view right in front of her.

Jack was certain he had killed her.

Moving closer, he could see that she was still breathing. The bump on her head had swollen a bit but she wasn’t bleeding. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

Suddenly, Tomi stirred and opened her eyes. Sitting up, she looked directly at him.

“Who the hell are you?” she asked, touching the injury on her forehead and wincing.

Jack looked around, trying to figure out who she was talking to. Slowly, realization dawned on him. “Are you…are you talking to me?” he asked.

Tomi huffed. “We are the only two people here, so yes, I am talking to you. Who are you and what are you doing here? I swept the place for stragglers before I pulled the gates down and I know you weren’t here.”

Jack was still in shock. “You can see me? You can hear me?”

Tomi tried to stand up but when her head spun and her vision blurred, she decided sitting was the best option for the time being. “Of course I can see you. It’s not like you’re a ghost.”

Jack stared at her wide eyed.

“What?” she barked.

“I am a ghost,” he said quietly.

Tomi snorted. “Yeah, and I’m the Governor of New York.”

“I am a ghost though,” Jack insisted. “My name is Jack Scott. I died here in 1986.”

Tomi looked him over. There was something odd about his appearance. He was incredibly pale for early July at the beach. The air around him seemed to move differently, slower, with the faintest shimmer. Tomi believed in the Loch Ness Monster and Big Foot, so ghosts weren’t too much of a stretch.

“You’re not scared?” Jack asked. He always assumed that if someone saw him they would be terrified.

“No” she said plainly, before adding “Should I be?”

Jack shook his head. “Nope. I’m a good ghost.”

“Good” Tomi said, relieved that she hadn’t misread the situation. “So, are all the other ones around here ‘good ghosts’?”

Jack laughed. He knew there were rumors about multiple ghosts roaming the midway at night. Truth was, he was the only one. Unless you counted the little girl in the old hotel right outside the park. She couldn’t leave that building and he couldn’t leave the park, so their only interaction was waving to each other every night. “No other ghosts. Just me.”

“God, that’s lonely,” Tomi blurted out before she could stop herself. “Sorry, that was harsh.”

“No offense taken,” Jack said with a grin. “It can be but usually there are so many people around, I don’t feel alone.”

Tomi thought about that. She felt the opposite. She always felt alone and lately it was worse when other people were around. Happy families, young lovers, carefree women - all of them reminders of the things she wasn’t.

“Can I ask you something?” Jack asked.

“Sure.”

“What happened to you?”

“What the hell does that mean?” Tomi snapped defensively. She got that questions regularly from family and friends. She didn’t expect it from the ghost that caused her head injury.

Jack held his hands up. “I’m sorry. My social skills are rusty. You’re the first person I’ve talked to in 40 years. Let me try that again. I’ve seen you here over the years. You were always so happy, so sure of yourself. Why aren’t you now?”

Tomi offered a bitter laugh. “I grew up and found out that life sucks and the universe likes to kick you in the teeth when you’re down.”

Jack cocked his head to the side and waited for her to continue.

Tomi looked down, willing herself not to cry. “I got through college and everything was great. But then every decision I made was wrong. Everything I touched turned to shit.”

“I’m sure that’s not true,” Jack offered sympathetically.

“You of all people should know life sucks,” Tomi insisted. “You died and got trapped in this crappy park.”

Jack had never thought about it but that was probably what it would look like to someone on the outside. Not once though, since the day he found himself in this predicament, had he thought like that. “I can see how you might think that. I’m lucky though. I’m somewhere I love. I see happy people enjoying their vacations. Every summer, new families find this place and the old families continue the traditions.” Jack smiled thinking of everything he had witnessed over the years.

“But you can’t talk to them. You can’t hug them. You’re invisible to them.” Tomi couldn’t understand how he was so positive.

Jack shrugged. “True, but I’m used to it. I’m not lonely or sad. I’m just happy to still be part of this place. Plus” he said with a cocky grin “I’m talking with you now.”

Tomi couldn’t help but smile back. When she did, Jack saw that faint glow again. “You should do more of that,” he told her.

“More of what?”

“Smile. When you do, everything around you lights up. That's why I got so close to you this afternoon.”

Tomi rolled her eyes and laughed. “Great. The Phantom of the Midway is flirting with me.”

“No I’m not,” Jack insisted. “Or if I am, I don’t know it. My flirting skills are rusty too. And if I remember correctly, I wasn’t very good at it when I was alive.”

Tomi’s smile widened. When it did, the air around her shifted and the glow grew brighter. “I’m just giving you trouble. Can I ask you a question?”

“Go for it. I’m completely transparent.” Jack raised one eyebrow, waiting to see if she caught the pun.

Tomi let out a loud laugh. “I see what you did there. Very funny. What I want to know is, what do you miss about being alive? I don’t want to die - don’t take my question as some sort of death wish. It’s just, it’s getting harder and harder for me to find something to cling to. I can’t find anything to move me forward.” As she finished that statement, she frowned and her light dimmed again.

Without thinking, Jack reached for her hand. For the briefest of moments, he was able to hold her hand before turning to mist and passing through hers. “That right there. That’s what I miss. I’m not lonely, but I miss connecting. Really connecting with someone. I had good friends and a good family when I was alive. Being able to look at someone, touch their hand, and understand each other. I do miss that.”

Tomi looked at her hand. She had felt Jack’s fingers grip her lightly and then the sensation of cold air flowing along her skin. It was the first time in months that someone had touched her. She had been avoiding everyone.

“I’m sorry. Did that feel weird? I’ve never done that before” Jack apologized.

Tomi smiled again, her glow returning. “No, it felt nice. It just reminded me that connecting with someone IS nice. I’ve been moving through life like a ghost too lately. I didn’t want my darkness to infect anyone else so I tried to disappear. But maybe that’s not the answer.”

“Don’t disappear. That glow within you is so special. Don’t dim it or try to hide it.”

Tomi thought that if Jack could see that in her, maybe what she thought had made her special hadn’t disappeared. Maybe instead of hiding, she needed to let others in. Maybe it was time to ask for help and fix her life.

“I won't,” Tomi promised. “Thank you for letting me know it wasn’t gone.”

Leaning over, Tomi gently pressed her lips to Jack’s cheek. She felt them make contact with the cool surface before everything once again faded to black.

“Tomasina! Wake Up!”

Tomi heard the yelling but it sounded like she was underwater. A strong pair of hands gently gripped her shoulders. When they shook her, she finally opened her eyes.

“What the hell?” she croaked, trying to make sense of what was going on.

“She’s awake. She’s moving. Don’t let her sit up? Got it, got it” her uncle yelled into the phone as he kneeled next to her “Stay down, Tomasina. Help’s on the way. Please kiddo, just keep your eyes open and stay still.”

Tomi did as he asked, only turning her head slightly to her right, where Jack had been a moment before. The space was empty. Looking back at her uncle, she saw the fear on his face. “I’m fine Uncle Paul. I just hit my head.”

“Just hit your head? Sweetheart, it’s 2 am. When you didn’t come home, your Dad called me. I found you passed out cold with a giant goose egg on your head.” Her uncle gently pushed the hair from her face. “Just focus on me. I can hear the paramedics coming.”

In moments, they surrounded her, taking her vital signs and assessing her cognitive abilities. They loaded her onto the stretcher, rushing to the waiting ambulance while her uncle ran to follow them in his car.

As they exited the park, Tomi caught a glimpse of shimmering, shifting air to her left. She reached her hand towards it as they crossed through the park gates. She felt a slight squeeze followed by a familiar cold sensation.

Smiling, Tomi knew Jack would see her glow.