" Truamatic responses"

Valentine's day has always been seen as a memorable day to celebrate love even though the has been a lot of controversy among cultures as what it really symbolys, the fact of the matter is love has always been in the center of it whether it's celebrated with family, friends, romantic partner or alone.

We all crave love or better we flatuated by the idea of love unfortunately only a few get to experience it, Nick is a young man who is always been fond of the idea of love, however the seem to be a misconception as to what he was seeing in real life and television to short stories towards to what he was feeling inside.

This contradiction led him to question what he was feeling and how everything around him was like. See Nick was always a happy boy, he loved to laugh spend time with friends playing especially soccer and believed in helping others, from assisting elders to little ones, however the world around him was strange in a way and he never got to question it as he has been punished for it which led him to shrink.

Now we all didferent individuals and the way we give and receive love is different, the make up of our environment, cultural believes and sociatal norms may vary.

The way Nick was raised never registered as a right way of doing things especially since the love he felt was way different from the love he saw around him from family dysfunctionality, to abuse of woman not to mention the abuse of authority, cultures and traditions that seek to disempower others and take away their individuality, so whenever he would react to how he felt he was shut down and developed the need to comourflase, people pleasing to feel a sense of safety that was conditional.

So he started to bottle things inside instead of voicing them out, and inherited a false identity as to present himself in the world, saying no when he means yes and vice verse.

Now when he met this one girl he liked he wasn't trying to loose her by his definition he always thought being himself is not accepted and must pretend hence he developed two personalities, one when he was alone and one with others.

Now when she met Pam it was quite triggering for him, especially since Pam came from a different background and to short things out, she was authentic and to Nick it was an attack especially to the false identity.

Now Nick is someone who love a lot of people, strangers alike and all this love stems from the need of being love himself however he really doesn't know how love works, how he want to be loved nor is able to allow others to love him back.

He has been used to give love to his detriment, deep in people pleasing fearing that he might be abounded as all he believed in and loved never seemed to stay and nurture love, so he believed love is to neglect oneself, to love is to self sacrifice and be emotional unavalailable.

Now when Pam would want to communicate with him a conflict will resume one will lead Pam feeling unappreciated and himself pressured to open his bottled up emotions.

To Pam it seemed as Nick was trying to overcompensate by love booming, that he was a narcissistic individual and someday she will see him as clingy, needy and desperate, now all this stems from him needing a femineni figure and a masculine figure, so Pam decided to let him go, not out of malice but out of love as she realized they were always fighting, not communicating effectively, blaming one another, the cheating of Nick also gave Pam the idea that she is not enough in his eyes while also realizing how he needs help thus giving him advice as to how he can acquire help from someone she trust and speak to about their relationship which Nick took as form of betrayal, feeling attack and being defencive.

So since he never got to look within he blamed everything on her like you know projecting his negative attributes and shortcomings I know sad! So he started pursuing relationship coaches those who lie a lot or better are narcissist themselves because they too like validation for their unresolved pains and instead of healing they want to paint the other gender as cruel not that they are angels themselves but you understand what I mean.

So he was mislead too, more like the blind leading the blind, so he became your so called player and thinking he would be fulfilled when chasing a lot of girls and breaking their hearts meant he was a strong masculine, now what's really crazy is that he was only after woman who lack self esteem and are themselves are crashed ans need healing.

He was more flauctuated by the idea of quantity over quality, what really borethered him the most was that he never got to show himself to this woman or better get anything started that is grounded and has substance instead he got one night stands, short relationship with no meaning and a broken bank account while having no time for anything he valued or inspired to achieve, a young man who is doomed and heading to a life of distress.

So life was going pretty well for him being wasted and lost, until he met with karma dressed in a beautiful dress, story switched for him. From being arrogant to striving towards leaning about love languages and the important of aithenticity, individuality and how such are hindered by certain barriers such as limiting beliefs. A whole story of uncovering oneself as a lecture room of life.

This right here is about a young man coming of age still lost trying to figure out the maze of life from making mistakes to learning from them while using the lessons to give life a chance in love......to be continued