The Society of Mild Inconvenience

They entered the chamber in a single file line through the heavy oak door. The six of them settled into a circle around an orb throwing dim light through the room. They meet every week to discuss their current projects and plan what will be done the following week.

Their work in the shadows, out of sight of regular society, doing the things that need to be done to keep the balance of power in the world.

Brother Oscar, leader of the group, stands and raises his arms, “Welcome brothers and sisters, here we gather to discuss our operations of most importance. I trust I will hear nothing but positive news and results from you all tonight.” He put his arms down and waved a long sleeve directly to the member to his right. “Brother Steven, how goes your current project?”

The robed figure stands and bows. “Most excellent Brother Oscar. Thanks to efforts of my underlings, we have successfully implemented Operation Midnight Chirp in all the target houses. We now plan to expand the operation to a much wider target base.” Brother Steven raises his arms; all the other cloaked figures applauded except one.

“Um, permission to speak Brother Oscar,” the voice was quiet and unsure.

“All this is our newest member Sister Melissa. This is her first meeting and I should have started the meeting stating that, my apologies. Permission to speak granted Sister Melissa.” Brother Oscar nods his head toward Sister Melissa.

“I would just like to know, what is Operation Midnight Chirp? It sounds exciting! Does it involve covert data gathering? Maybe transporting contraband across country borders in the night? Ooh, or maybe it’s some sort of non-lethal weapon?” Sister Melissas voice got faster and more excited as she went on.

“Even better,” Brother Steven raised his hand, pulling back the sleeve of his cloak to reveal a nine-volt battery in his hand, “we replaced all the batteries in the smoke detectors of the target residences with weak ones, causing them start chirping in the middle of the night and giving the home owners a poor nights rest.”

A long pause. “Um, that doesn’t seem all that impactful.” The tone in Sister Melissas voice was clearly confused.

“Ah, it is your first day here so we will go over our mission statement with you, although you should have been briefed before coming. HR has been lacking lately. Us members of the Society of Mild Inconvenience go about making everyone’s life just that bit more stressful.”

“Oh, but what is the point? Not to be rude but that seems just like busy work.”

“The point? The point is that are these individuals going to question who is controlling their lives and the world when they have had a poor nights sleep? What about when their internet is unusually slow or all the small important things are misplaced or navigating the awkward time after liking and old boyfriend or girlfriends post? These little things add up and can help keep an astoundingly large number of the populace in line.”

A silence settled on the room, finally broken by the groups newest member. “I….I’m not sure that that is true. Just give them mild inconveniences and they’ll remain docile?”

“Well, it’s not just our work but the effort of many groups. Yes, we do believe that our actions have swayed many from taking up action or at least really considering who is in charge. The amount of money, time and effort that we have saved by preventing many from seeking out the truth is immeasurable. You’re new, give it some time and you will see.”

Sister melissa nodded, still not fully understanding. She decided to stay quiet, no point in making a ruckus in her new position.

“Now the next point of business. Sister Francine, have you solved the issue that was brought up last meeting and please reiterate the situation for our newest member.”

The figure directly across from Brother Oscar, Sister Francine, stood to deliver her update. “Last week we discovered an issue with an operation we were in the middle of. The plan was to litter children’s blocks on the carpet so they would step on them and get distracted by the pain. Unfortunately, a key item was missing due to poor intel. See, they do not have kids and haven’t had any visits for quite a while. The sudden appearance of the blocks could raise suspicion. The blocks were already scattered and retrieving them was not possible. To solve this issue, we found an acquaintance of theirs with children and caused an issue at the day care their son attends. This caused them to ask the target to watch the child for a bit. We made sure that the kid brought blocks with them to play with to make give plausibility of the toy being on the floored when stepped on.”

Brother Oscars nodded in his hood, “Excellent work, not just solving an issue but also killing two birds with one stone. I will report this to my superior and recommend you for employee of the month.”

Sister Francine bowed. “Thank you, Brother Oscar. I take my role here very seriously and I appreciate the recognition.”

Brother Oscar turned to the newest member, “Sister Melissa, I would like you to work with Sister Francine on her next project. She will be working on getting our targets to constantly run into red lights, making their commutes and driving in general very frustrating. I believe this will help you understand what we do and why we do it.”

Sister Melissa bowed. “Thank you, I’m looking forward to the opportunity.”

“Excellent. Now before we wrap up just a few announcements. Remember to hand in your timecards by close of business on Fridays and properly assign your time to what you gave worked on. I know it’s a pain, but the bean counters are real sticklers with tracking the funding. Also remember not to park or stand in the fire lane, even if you’re just being dropped off. And with that, this concludes our meeting. Please continue the great work and just a heads up I will not be here next time.”

“That’s right, have fun in Bermuda. Tell Janice I say hi.” Said Brother Steven

The group raised their arms high and chanted the motto of the Society of Mild Inconvenience. They lowered their arms then filed out in a single file line.