The Thirstborn

Mulch fills my nostrils, and I sputter out the debris. Breaths heave out of my chest, they're guttural, desperate. My ribs feel wider, more able, and they sift through the air, aiding my eyes, my awareness, hearing, everything.

I don't know how, but I'm low to the ground. My head swivels around my environment. A forest, filled with redwoods. It's nighttime, and the soft bark is a burgundy in this light. Wind breezes through, and I am accurately aware of the brushes of the leaves against each other, the critters underneath the soil, and my heartbeat - it's slow, rhythmic, like a beating drum.

I try to get up, but nothing happens. Soft earth moves around my knees. I bow, looking down, and grey and white furry legs and feet with black claws appear. I try to move my feet, and they move too. My arms are the same, planted in the soil. Each paw lifts up and curls as I try to move.

Fear curdles inside of me.

I try to scream, but a sorrowful howl comes out. I try to speak, but it comes out like a grumble. Irritation fills me as I try to talk, but all that comes out is a growl or a low-pitched bark.

What is happening?!

Glimmers of memory appear to me, my midnight walks, walks to calm me when everything becomes too much.

Did I die? What is happening?

A sharp, oaky scent wafts through. I start sniffing the area. It's fresh, and I can smell the warmth of the scent. Human.

Not just any human, this is me.

Looking out onto the forest floor, the moon reflects the phyllotaxy of the leaves, chiming softly to the wind. A visual map in the darkness forms of the disturbance of leaves leading into thicker woods, increasing near the bends of the stumps.

Instinct fills me, and I lean into the scented trail, damp ground thrashing from beneath me as I start trekking through the trees. Dirt flicks up into my eyes, and I snarl into it, growling again. Barks release as I keep pursuing my scent, breaking the foliage and sticks beneath.

After a kilometre or so, I find the small wooden bridge over the creek. It yearns under my weight as I run further through the night until my scent has intensified.

My apartment duplex gleams under the full moonlight, vibrant on the outside while middle empty and lifeless inside. I make my way to the front door, forgetting that I don't have my hands. Rage bursts from within me, and I force my weight into the door, wood breaking and flying to pieces.

Glass shatters as I crash into our coffee table in the living room. Searing pain eats my side, but I ignore it, thrashing in the living room to get the glass off me. My large body bulldozes everything in sight: the lamp, the couch, the table. Anger pulses as I try to shake off the broken furniture and thrash down the hallway to the main bedroom.

My claws scratch and slip as I tumble into the main room. I turn and look at the long mirror, mentally gaping at my reflection.

A wolf. Almost 5ft high. Luminescent amber eyes lit, glaring back at me, circling the depths of their centres.

I feel, and see, my ear twitch, two large cones of grey sealed in black fur. Grey and white fur line my whole figure. Two large legs are planted beneath me and a black snout, still swivelling instinctively.

I scurry back, trying to scream, but loud barking comes. Saliva starts webbing around, and I chomp down, angry at my appearance, furious at this. How did this happen? How am I a wolf?

This is death. This must be death.

I've heard of spirit animals. Is this my second life?

The sound of glass shifting comes from the living room, and I spin back.

I stalk the living room, my instincts telling me right away that whoever just walked in the house is a stranger. A nauseating waft of vanilla and salty perspiration fills my senses.

A young woman, who looks like she's in her mid-twenties, stands in the middle of the destroyed living room. She's holding up her phone with a flashlight, and my eyes adjust, blurring the light to the rest of the scenery to a grey hue.

Her chin starts wobbling, and her lips part slowly.

"I think I'm the one who did this."

I blink at her, a growl forming in my chest.

I take one step forward, and she steps back. Her eyes are just as dark as her hair, and her skin ashen to a lighter shade. Instinct falters for a minute as I notice her coat with buttons and chains shrinks her, alongside some baggy pants.

I try to talk, but another bark erupts. She falters, eyes widened, I'm scaring her. But I need to know, how did she do this? How could it be possible?

In an instant, a white rope appears in the vision of my mind. It's glowing and connected to her mind. I focus on it, trying to focus my thoughts.

"How did you do this?"

The girl steps back and gasps. Her jacket chains jangle.

"This must be a part of a bond." She says, shaking her head.

"What bond?" I demand. Fury threads through the rope of the bond.

She lowers herself to the ground, now crouching, holding her arms up. I crouch down, lowering my head to indicate submission, for now. Anyone who's made me a wolf doesn't have my full trust.

Looking at me, she pulls a blue leather satchel from her middle. She pulls out a red-tattered book with multiple markers from different pages. She brings a bundle of tall, purple flowers.

"Have you ever been so alone, like really alone?" She asks, trying to begin.

I blink.

"I just…Well, basically, I had a book. I found it at a second-hand store."

"It just has these poems, or something, about what to do in different situations. And I found the one on loneliness. What to do when you don't have a friend in the world"?

"A full moon, a bundle of salvia flowers, and the poem."

I force out a thought onto the silver rope, "What poem?"

She keeps her eyes locked in, still slightly bowing. Fear-smelling sweat prickles in my nose.

"Under the moon, where the night is full, when loneliness wells and makes a pool, say a request, to the depth of night, and a friend would emerge, through a link of light."

I dwell on my thoughts, human thoughts, that I'm picking through. I understand that she wanted some kind of friend, but how did this 'poem' make me a wolf? I was a human before. And a link of light? I'm guessing that's how we are speaking, through this mental link, a silver rope.

"OK, I get that," I send through, ignoring the sad reality that this girl went into the woods, looking for a friend.

"But I don't remember being a wolf. Last time I remember, I was a full human man. I was probably going on one of my midnight walks," I send through the connection.

She nods. I can feel the remorse through the pores of her skin, something this nose is starkly good at, smelling this girl's dramatic shifts in mood.

I realise I don't even know her name, which isn't going to fair well with a girl that needs some kind of spell book to get a friend.

"My name's Will," I send through the connection.

She squirms a little, her dark eyes forming into two crescents.

"My name is Mikaela," she says, now some joy entering the atmosphere. She then seems to reset, looking at me with an air of urgency as her thoughts knit into clarity.

"Will, I think we need to find your body. Your human body"

—

Mikaela and I begin pacing outside to the forest again. I'm hooked on my human scent, rising like a strong smoulder from the earth. I keep pausing to see if she is keeping up. All her buttons and additions to her jacket, and even her boots, are rattling vigorously. Her red hair is already slick against her forehead, and I think she's having trouble breathing.

"Sorry…" she gasps, "It's been a while since I've run."

We drop to more of a medium pace, and she even starts holding my fur to keep balance. I start growling when she does, but let it go for now.

As the scent enriches, it stops short, right at the sight. I sniff around the area and find where it's the strongest.

"This is it, this is where I woke up," I say, sending through the link.

"This makes sense, I was sitting over the hills there," She points to the slope in the trees.

Realisation hits me, then anger brims in me again.

"You saw me, you did this to me?" I say, bearing my teeth.

Mikaela takes a few steps back.

"No, no, it wasn't like that! Sure, I saw you, or whatever.." Even in the night, I can see a shadow of fear over her, causing her features to droop.

"But, I didn't think anything of it when I saw you walking. I just wanted someone. And it doesn't make sense that you could be..a wolf.." She says, holding my gaze while bowing slightly.

She's right. It doesn't make sense. There must be something else going on. I slow blink at her, meaning that I've accepted what she says, for now.

She walks closer to me, but her foot tugs at something beneath the soil, and she almost trips, stumbling forward several steps past me.

My ears perk up as I see a brown, reddish form poking from beneath the soil. A faint and metallic odour springs into my receptors, and I paw the earth. I start digging.

"There's something here, I can smell it," I say mentally, hearing her footsteps approach the area.

"I'm fine anyway, thanks for asking," she says as she crouches by me.

I keep digging, digging deeper to see what she's tripped on. As I go, something sharp and long appears. It looks like a stick, but it becomes obvious that it is some kind of bone. I grab it with my teeth and yank it out of the ground next to Mikaela.

“Woah, a bone!” She splutters, taken aback.

"And I think there's more.."

I keep digging until I find a slender, ruddy skull, almost like a sheep skull, maybe, but it has colossal canines along each side of the jaw. It's a wolf skull.

Soon, I've dug up parts of what looks like a rib cage, a femur, multiple teeth, and two spines.

"I think there's more."

I don't know how much time has passed, but the whole area is now scattered with craters in the ground, and I've dug up what seems to be four sets of wolf remains. While I dig, Mikaela is reading through her red book with her phone flashlight to see if there are any correlations with the wolves' remains and what's happened to me. I look up occasionally to see if she's found anything, but she's engrossed in her research, making noises or chattering to herself.

The slightest shimmer of light begins to appear through the trees. I crane to see the faintest white-blue light breaking on the horizon. Crisp edges of light start to form around the leaves on the ground, waning out of the darkness.

How is it almost dawn? How long have we even been out here for?

"Will."

I turn to Mikaela. She's looking at me with wide eyes. I walk towards her and crouch down.

"I found a poem about the death of an animal or a pet. It tells you how to bring them back to life."

I pause.

"It's called: New beginnings with old bodies," she utters.

"What was old can be made new. Look to your creature, one or few. Believe in your heart that it'll beat again," she breathes. I stare.

"On a full moon, and wait for ten. Breathe out your wish, for them to be true. Now what's dead is alive, what's gone now.. with you," we both stare at each other.

"Does that mean.." I begin.

"Whatever I did, whatever I opened or recited from this book. I think I did more than once, I think I did multiple of these poems at one time." She says, her brows knitting.

I furrow too. This is unlike anything I've seen. Did this book belong to some kind of spiritualist or something? I've never been one to believe in this thing, but then again, I'm a wolf now.

This means that she didn't just wish for a friend, she wished for something else too, some other enchanting predicament.

"Will, what is the last thing you remember?" She asks.

"I was just walking in the woods, getting some fresh air," I transfer through. A whimper curdles in my throat, but I try to cover it with a growl.

"Will, I think you must've died." She says.

Died? How does that make sense?

But then I think about my heart, how it often beat so much, often uncontrollably. And that's why I was always walking outside, to escape, to feel the air during the night.

Remembering, just the last night, when I was human, I'm starting to remember now. I'm sure there was a point where I couldn't feel any more air coming in my lungs...

"Will, I think you died tonight. And you not only died, but you died on wolf remains," Mikaela starts.

"When you died, I was reciting this, well, book. Under the full moon. I declared my original first spell to no longer be alone, and I really believed it."

"But this must also mean I activated the New Beginnings with Old Bodies script, as you died on wolf remains. There was an exchange, or a combination made… I'm guessing your spirit, combined with the wolf remains. That's why.. You're a wolf."

A low growl rumbles in my throat, and I listen to what she's said. Then burning, burning everywhere.

I look, and the sun is now pouring onto the atmosphere. Cracks, shifts, and bones begin breaking in my legs. I howl in pain as I'm brought to the ground. My spine cracks too, and I feel it start to lengthen. Howls erupt from my chest as pain and agony whip through me like a hot fire.

"Will!" Mikaela starts screaming.

White hot pain floods my eyelids as I feel the gravity shift. I close my eyes, growling in agony. The gravity of the ground shifts as I feel the air rush through my cheeks. My body contorts, lengthens, snaps. Coldness bites the extent of my arms, and down my torso, to my legs.

Then, nothing.

I open my eyes, and Mikaela is now dwarfed by my stature. She's craning her head at me.

My arms are rippled with muscle but coated in thick, black hair. My nails are long and pointed at the ends. Hair sticks to my face, and I touch it with my hands, which hum with heat and energy.

Mikaela gawks at me, apparently, stunned.

For a second, I think I'm human again, until it becomes abundantly clear that I'm not, and I don't think I ever will be.

"Mikaela?" I say, with my own voice.

She nods. Apparently terrified.

I glance down at the rest of me, and it feels like I'm in the body of a giant, a furry, human giant.

Neither of us needs to say it, what is abundantly clear.

That I'm a werewolf.

And only one thing looms over in the pinnacle of importance, now that my metamorphosis is complete. That my human thoughts and my wolf instincts are in cohesion.

"Mikaela, we need to form a pack."