Anthony Diary

I don't mind if I create something strange in my mind. It's been a long time I write a lot of stuff until I forgot how to retain my mind and fingertips. Sometimes I imagine myself on the island in a cave, just stay there and fill my time with working out and get some nearest fishes there, or even just a little creature. Sometimes I wonder what kind of animals I can eat that just stay on the land, or even as basic as some thoughts about losing my intellegence or looks due to some acts, whether concious or unconcious. I miss my friend Ferd and Ghailan. The one is from Siberia, and the one is from Persia. I'm the only one from the land of nowhere. I mean it seriously, not by some kind of metaphor. At some point I just sit there, stimulates my feet palm on the rocks, see the sky and hear some calmful waves, even though sometimes there is some rain there. "Hey, you look kind of pale, Cal." That's the name they give me, right after the story they told about me just stranded on the island, the only thing I remember is the castle I run and climb, splash my face with some water and swim. "Let's get something fresh in the forest," Ferd suggests. He's the oldest one, probably around ten years older than us, gives us some wisdom every night, and even some fairy tales. "Just get something else, then. I feel full already." After got some little meal there, Ghailan is already grateful. I regret to believe some of the people stories about how haunted the forest and lonely island, it's actually not as scary as it sounds. We just get there, and feel some leaves we can touch everywhere, and just stay there for a long time. Ghailan see the branches and just feel it on his palm. He's the skinniest one among us, but has a gentle heart. They always look at me with some pity look. I know what they mean and I cannot blame them. We still on our journey to find our friend Aaron, he's just look after his family since he concerns about it. We can't judge anything about him, since we never experience that kind of thing before. But we never concerns about anything include the sound of the people can knocks on his doorstep, he's too old to be concerned. Sometimes I refer people as "it", since I have some kind of attachment problem, whether I don't know it's a weakness or not. But then again I wake up with my face very pale on the chair and table. I don't really know what happen at that point, i just confused.

"Anthony, what's going on there?" Mr Axel just put his white marker on the desk, and ask if I'm sick of something. There is a girl just fill the question there. It's on 8th grade, I wake up on my weird dream, so I prepare my book again to write on something. I like to write, especially the letters and numbers, it really stumbles me. Let me explain about the school I go to; It's very fresh like an autumn, with some ficillium trees around it, we barely feel the heat of the sun, but still gets the warm of it. There are some frogs swimming on the pool, and beautiful buildings everywhere. Sometimes I feel I live in a palace on the common city.

"Tony, want to go to a toilet?" My friend Guido just tells me to make our time can be comprehend and be act as tough as some my macho friends on the class. It's very cold ambience. But Millie stills stumbles on me everytime I'm going nowhere. I'm a strange kid there, people don't know whether I'm smart, stupid, or both. But I enjoy every moment of it, I want to live it to the fullest. I always bring a paper inside my pocket, and a marker to write or draw, or even some stratches on it. We get to the second floor. There is a rumor about the red floor and how it's very cold at night, and strange sounds as someone gets into it. but I don't really mind about it. Me and Guido go to the library. The most calmful place there. I still wonder why so many people not really enjoy to get there, to fill their head with knowledge, or at least just sit there. Ellie, is the one who takes charge on it. The white hair lady with probably one or two years apart from her retirement. At that time I really disturbed with her appearance, I remember I did some assigments there and she checked every part of my paper, which she doesn't really take responsible of. But don't really think about it my friend, I'm just a regular teenager with some curious mind, seek everything I can read, especially the ones I like about. Lucky Luke and Tintin, the two of the comics I like to enjoy. I get there every rest time, after I eat grilled chicken as the most expensive food there, and some cereal milks to feel great. "Anthony, why you look so serious about it?" Guido asks me. "You never know mate, you never know." I still remember what it feels to touch the cold paper, and how the teacher gave us some expensive books it seems from the british council, probably really from there. "Let's get outside man," me and Guido go outside of the school, or a castle rock I should say. The places we often hangout with, sometimes with Brian, sometimes with Steve. Maybe later I can talk about them, but I never really know which one is really remarkable. But then me and Guido decide to get upstairs and sit on the red cold floors. It's rain outside, and nothing we can do. Man I can't really remember any part of it. I never really read a bible, but I have some curiosity about what I can do while I read it. Then again I try to stimulate my brain everytime to keep the volume down.

At some point, I sleep in my room and downtown of my heart, I really craves to get something. Some powder or something I cannot explain. I often sleep with Steve, nothing gay about that. But I believe the crusader.

Who stand tall for themselves, on the grass field to run everytime, to never stop running. "Tony let's go outside," Steve asks me from the outside. That night is very cold, the good temperature for me. Steve gets my favorite ice cream. Chocolate flavour with some greens and vanilla. Near my house there is a big complex of the houses. Empty buildings and some cracked rocks and stones. Some buildings contain some courses, cattle, the place I train myself before I fight somebody out there. "You bring your paper and marker, man?" Steve asks. "Well never ask about it, it's part of my veins," I assure about it. "You really born a writer, man," Steve gives some praise. Sometimes I blushed, but most of the time I think it's the only way to survive. I don't really have so much abilities to fight some gangs around this city, my fingers only can write and draw, and barely some musical.

"You must know some girls must be waiting for you, Tony." Steve smirks. "Nevermind, dude. I cannot sustain many things in my life." I never meant it by pity, but I think it's the way it is. I almost never see a writer with some champagne on his hand, and some groupies inside of their houses. We arrive on our place. Some little pace of grass, and empty square. I spray some greens, a tag for us. Me, Steve, and Brian. Guido not include, since I'm still scared of him. One day me and Rio just get out from a walmart, and he saw us with jealousy. I nevermind about people with different orientation, but sometimes I scared of them.