Doubt

"Alright baby you have everything?"

I look at Abe, then put my head down looking into my purse

"Yes, I have everything"

He starts to grab his seat belt

"Okay good, gotta make sure we have everything right"

Abe lets out a chuckle always finding himself to be the funniest even when he is corny

"Do you have everything?" I ask, annoyed.

Abe stops right before clicking his seatbelt, he feels at his pockets, looks in the cup holder, and even the back of the car

"What are you looking for?"

"My wallet"

I let out a sigh and rub my temples with my thumb and index finger

"Let me go look back inside again give me a second." He leans in for a quick kiss, I ignore it.

"Oh don't be like that Rebecca, I know you love my kisses" Abe exits the car and lightly jogs back inside the house.

I send a message to Kenzie on how we will be running a little late, she responds back saying

"Girl no worries, as long as you don't forget that wine" I chuckle reading leaving a heart on the message.

I then look outside and wonder what's taking Abe so long, I mean it's been a good 10 minutes. I open the visor so I could apply my lipstick. I slowly go around my lips and then check if it's all even, I notice I went over too much on my right upper lip.

"Damn it" I say with my teeth

I start looking for napkins and I go and open up the glove compartment, with that, a wallet came out. I grab it and the only napkin that was left. I get ready to call Abe and then by my surprise he steps out, I show him the wallet and he playfully pretends to wipe off sweat from his forehead.

"Oh my gosh where did you find it?" Abe says getting in the car

"In the glove compartment, with only one piece of napkin, please get more next time you are in a drive thru"

"Oh yes thank you for reminding me."

Abe starts to put his seatbelt on and presses start to the car.

"By the way you did forget something"

I turn my head towards him raising one eyebrow

"You almost forgot these silly"

Abe hands me my medication and I freeze for a moment

"Oh yes, thank you so much babe"

I slowly put it into my bag and then look out the window as we head to dinner.

" Wakey wakey Rebecca, we made it" he says while holding my hand and giving me a couple of kisses on my cheek.

I repeatedly open my eyes and start rubbing them feeling like I slept for only 30 minutes but it felt like 4 hours at the same time. Abe reaches in the back and grabs the bottle of wine he bought which I assume he did that while I was asleep.

" Hey babe remember to put your alarm on your phone for your medication. can't forget that now, right?" he says while holding my hand, " I really want to make sure you take care of yourself. You are so special to me, and I don't want anything happening to you, so make sure you set the alarm, okay?"

Abe kisses my hand and turns off the car and gets out to open my door. I couldn't stop thinking why he was adamant about taking my medication. What if he did something to it? Abe smiles as he goes to open my door, and I stare at him back, face numb. I wasn't sure how to react, he just seemed so ungenuine. It was an act, his clinginess, the way he speaks to me, it was the same way a kid in class sucks up to the teacher. Abe reaches his hand out like he is a prince, but in this moment, I couldn't feel like a princess. I reluctantly lift my hand up not making eye contact.

"Oh come on Rebecca there's no need for the act" he says while holding onto my hand and closing the car door.

"Its nothing Abe, let's just enjoy this dinner please"

"Okay okay, no need to get feisty"

We walk toward the front door and before even Abe knocks, Kenzie opens the door and welcomes us in. We go around hugging each other tightly, it has been over 5 months since we have all been together. Abe gifts the wine to Kenzie and her boyfriend, and I go over to the kitchen to set up the plates, looks like the food was already done 45 minutes ago. Kenzie helps me with setting up the table and Michelle, and the boys were grabbing the food. We all get to our seats and Kenzies boyfriend, James clinks his glass with his fork 4 times

"I just want to thank you all for being here, I know it's been a while since we seen each other, life always has a way of distracting us From the more important things, like good company, with good friends. I also want to congratulate Abe and Rebecca for just completing 2 years" Everyone claps their hands, Connor starts chanting and I couldn't help but laugh a little. Abe puts his hand to his heart, and stands up to start bowing like he just finished a grand performance on stage.

"Abe you have any words you want to say?" James says

Abe looks at me, and looks at James.

"Oh man um, you put me on the spot there" everyone chuckles

"You got this Abe!" Connor shouts

"Well um I just want to start off saying, thank you so much for having us here, um thank you for your hospitality and I wouldn't share this moment with anyone else, you guys are not just friends but family. And to my beautiful girlfriend Rebecca, you are the exact woman I want, I've been looking for you"

I look at him as he stares me down, he keeps eye contact not letting go of his gaze

"You hear me out, you are kind to me, and you know what to say and do." he says while putting his hand on my shoulder, squeezing tightly.

"You do more than just complete me Rebecca. You"

He pauses and breaks his gaze

"You just bring a calmness over me that no other woman has done, so thank you" Everyone claps as Abe leans over to kiss me on the lips, but I turn to the side and he kisses me on the cheek, his grip tightening on my shoulder. Abe looks at me stern and confused, he mouths

"Are you okay?"

I all of a sudden get lightheaded

"Rebecca are you okay?" Kenzie says

"Yeah i'm alright I think I have to um" I stand up and fall over a little and catch myself on the table spilling my wine on Abes white shirt.

"Shit!" he stands up from his chair raising his arms up.

I run to the kitchen feeling like I was going to throw up. I start breaking a sweat feeling cold and burning hot at the same time. Connor comes to my aid rubbing my back and patting on it just in case I had to puke

"Hey is everything okay? You seemed very nervous back there"

"It's nothing I swear, I'm fine" i finally hurl bile, I hadn't eaten anything today. My body pinches inwards as I try to puke up my lung. My alarm goes off.

"Rebecca I think you should stay the night with us" he says while looking around

"No Connor" Abe grabs his shoulder turning Connor towards him.

"She will be going home with me, I see what you are trying to do and its not going to work"

"Yo what you tryna say?" Connor stands up closing the space between them. James steps in to break them up

"Yo what's up with you my guy, why you doing this" James says to Abe

"You need to watch your boy, he been tryna get at my girl since we got here" he says while pushing James off. I sit there on the floor dizzy and hot. Abe grabs me and lifts me up

"We are leaving" says Abe while pushing James and Connor out the way

"You can take back your wine Abe" James shouts

Abe stops in his tracks and turns around.

"Oh this wine right here?" Abe grabs the bottle and in one swift motion throws it on the wall, ruining the painting James mother made. I don't even know what's going on at this point, i'm too out of it and stumbling around to even form a sentence. Abe helps me in the car and slams my door. Abe enters the car and starts his car, but right before he leaves, he takes a deep breath in and looks at me, he gets close to my ear. He waits a second and whispers

"You know that this is all your fault right?"

Then Abe drives away

We get home and the tension between us is at an all time high. He grabs me by my arm and pulls me through the yard into our house.

"Why why why Rebecca, why did you do this?" he says throwing me off of him.

"You ruined my white shirt, you know how much I paid for this, my gosh" he runs his hand through his hair breathing heavy

"Go sit down right there Rebecca"

I am now up against the wall, frozen and I shake my head no

"Go sit there now!" he yells

I can't move, I just can't. He marches towards me pulling at my hair and sitting me down at our dining room table.

"Now let me go wash my hands, you ruin my shirt and now you are making my hands dirty."

Abe walks over to the kitchen sink and puts soap on his hands.

"You know why I love you Rebecca? because you listen, but when you don't listen, you know what comes with that right?"

I stay silent.

"You make me do this Rebecca. It's your fault I have to make you see and understand." his back is facing me and I see the knives next to the stove.

" You know what I found today, I saw the pills you have been 'taking' you've been lying to me. You know your therapist says you need to take those pills and you haven't." He finishes washing his hands now grabbing the towel to dry them

"That's why you left them in the house, you didn't forget. You purposely did that. That's why you have been acting weird these past couple of days"

"You need to put me in the hospital Abe"

"Hospital? Are you sick?

"Well-" he cuts me off

" You have me Rebecca, don't you understand, I'm the only one that can take care of you" he steps closer to me grabbing both of my cheeks and starts kissing my neck. I punch him in the gut and push him off, and he falls to the floor. I grab the kitchen knife and point it at him. He groans in pain, and then he stands up and leaps towards me and we fall to the floor and I lose the knife.

"Now you have done it Rebecca." he says while with one hand as he holds both my hands down above me. Abe grabs the knife and puts it to my side, he punctures just enough for me to stop struggling.

"You know I stopped doing this baby, I've changed, but you are disappointing me so much right now. Whether you like it or not, you are going to take these pills" he puts the knife to the side and reaches into his pocket for the two pills. He puts it in his mouth and goes in to kiss me

"I suggest you don't struggle." he picks up the knife

"Don't worry baby, this will make all the bad stuff go away" and pushes it back into my wound

"Cause it will only make things worse" I give in. Abe manages to slip it in my mouth, he then digs the knife deeper, I let out a scream

"Swallow Rebecca" he whispers in my ear as tears start to fall from my eyes. I swallow the pills.

"Everything is going to go back to normal baby, trust me, Im only doing this cause I love you okay."

Abe lays beside me, stroking my hair and kissing me on the cheek. I didn't want this to start again, I didn't want to forget. My vision starts to blur and I struggle to stay awake, as I blink repeatedly I can only think one thought.

Abe is right, it is all my fault.