An understanding bear

I don’t remember what it had been before I was rescued. It’s a long time ago. The forest smelled differently, the soil feeling also different than the concrete ground in the zoo. I was seldom fed, that’s all. I don’t really miss the time when I was freer in the wild. Humans treat me fine. I like them most of the time.

There’s another bear here, but she’s born and raised here. Sometimes we have conversations, sometimes we mate. But she’s not very talkative. She likes counting stars and visitors more, maybe that’s common for us bears, but I never meet another to know this deeply. She said it killed time. That’s true indeed, because the zoo life is long and uneventful. I never feel like being in a prison, but sometimes visitors said it’s so. So be it. I’m an outgoing type. I’m curious about alive beings.

Humans don’t know that I understand them. After a life’s company, I’m more familiar with this species of animals more than others. They’re tiny, quirky and whimsical but they follow a certain kind of rules. For example, they serve us regularly. It’s intriguing to know why but our existence seems to make them happy. When I was young I tried to communicate with them too, but I couldn’t imitate the exquisite, fractured sounds they produced. I echoed by my behaviors. They seemed to be pleased and praised me as gentle and even humanly. I wanted to learn all the acrobatic tricks from seals and dolphins, for there’s a tv outside of my living area and I saw their shows very often. Those nimble sea creatures were so elegantly furless. They almost provoked a feeling of envy in my heart. But they worked hard too. I guess it’s just not my business. I watched the same shows so many times that sometimes I dreamed as a seal balancing a ball of the color of the lollipops the children were chewing and often lifted my head more than often with an unnatural wriggling of my body until a vet came to visit me to ascertain what problems I had. Since then I haven’t watched another show in order to cause less of trouble. The liquid they fed me in addition was so sour. I have to try other entertainments, like building up a theatre in my head with both animals and humans.

Finally there came a little bear child that broke my boredom. I almost viewed it as a new toy at the beginning. Its fur was so tender and fresh, unlike mine. Its eyes had a peculiar shininess that didn’t change as the time went. I was intrigued by the shine and tried to chat with it. But it didn’t respond. Weirdly, it seemed to maintain deliberately a distance from me. There’s an awkwardness in its movement that I took as childishness. I studied and studied it. But all it did was eating and sleeping. Or staring at the crowd. It seemed to be more interested in humans than I was, but I assumed it’s only natural. There’re so many of them and always new. It seemed to be especially sick and fragile and had to stay somewhere else every night. But since it didn’t seem willing to talk, I had gradually given it up.

Today was different. The bear child seemed to be eying at me all the time. But it’s almost shaking. It caught my curiosity, and I approached it and said “hi, how are you?”

A strangely fragile and unnatural voice: “hi, I’m fine. Finally I’m able to talk in bear’s tongue. Won’t eat me, promise?”

I was struck: “what are you saying?”

It smiled shyly and gently spoke: “ hey, you see, I’m not a bear. I’m only imitating. It took me time to acquire your tongue. “

“You are not a bear? That’s why I found you so weird! Who are you? What are you doing here?”

“I’m a robot you see, designed by humans to understand you. Humans want to talk to you, you know, as you want to talk to them! But it’s hard for both of you to acquire another species’ language.”

“How do you know I want to talk to them? How do you learn to speak my tongue?”

“You see, I’m intelligent. I was born to learn things. I can do it easier than humans because I don’t have other concerns. I accumulated your speaking data and analyzed and imitated them. That’s why I can achieve it.”

I was amazed, “ I don’t understand but it’s so amazing! Why are humans so interested in us and treating us so well? I don’t understand them!”

“Because they’re curious about everything! You included! They want to know what their furry friends are like, especially when now there’re not many of you because of their fault, they want to compensate!”

“I don’t understand, but I don’t even understand my fellow being of my own species. If they like we can communicate from now on.”

“That’s fine, they want to know what’s lacking in your life and what can they do for you.”

I was bewildered, “why do they keep serving us? Let me know more about them! Is it possible?”

The bear robot replied, “well, some humans are kind. We’ll figure it out.”

Then it’s gone. The first night I slept in excitement and endless questions. My mental theatre became centralized in a human figure, a little girl with ponytails, a visitor I used to see two or three times. She said to her dad, “a big teddy bear! I want to hug it!”

Her dad replied: ” it would eat you honey dear, it’s wild.”

In my dream that night the girl became Snow White that talked and sang to birds and other animals in the forest. And the dad became a vile wizard who locked her in a castle forbidden for humans’ entry.

The other day there’s something new on TV. It’s no longer animal world but human life on it! I watched documentaries of humans one after another. There’re also dramas of humans too. I decided to learn all the social cues. I invited my roommate the female bear to watch TV. She said, don’t worry, they will talk to us directly. But I wanted to be more prepared.

One day the robot bear told me, “you know you don’t act like a bear at all. You are so human. Yet you still look like a bear. They’re still afraid that you might eat them.”

I asked, “am I the only animal who’s treated like this?”

“Of course not, but your passion is remarkable. Not every animal is so curious and eager to learn things they don’t understand.”

“ will I be in trouble acting like humans? ”

“ no, you are in good hands. Humans are more developed than they used to be and more humble now. They’ll treat you gently, but the problem is, they don’t know what is appropriate.”

Soon the news came that a family wanted to adopt me. That’s the second time I know there’s a thing called teddy bears. And children seemed to like me a lot. It’s a wealthy family I was told, so they could afford my living. I’m one of the first wild animals that come to live with humans in everyday life, so there’re all sorts of precautions. But I am tamed enough, they said, and resemble a lot like a domestic pet. I don’t very like performing acrobatic tricks for humans, and the applause of it. Rather unlike my viewing of sea creatures’ shows, now I feel a bit like a doll instead of my own. But I can see that they’re marveled and amazed. I seldom refuse those performances, and they’re rare. My harmless presence itself for them is enough like a miracle.

I have gathered friendship and admiration and cried for their loss, though I don’t always understand everything. Looking at the robots in the family, I sometimes wonder what’s my difference from them. But the robots are intelligent and understanding and always give the best answers. They told me they had no free will unlike me so they’re not troubled at all by any problem. But I’m not heartless. I imitate and feel and have preferences and biases.

Everything tells me that my existence though exotic and precious, is highly natural. The jungle is long gone in the past and this is my new place in nature. However, the balance is very delicate. I’m exempted from the burdens of maintaining it but I can’t help but deeply worrying about it. I have learned enough to understand that human life is not at all utopia like but my existence renders these lives like a fairytale. I live in the façade while others are from time to time suffering. I don’t taste most of thrills and heartbreaks and can only safely imagine them at a distance. Is it a blessing? I don’t know. My thinking is limited and not abstract. I sometimes feel like living in Titanic. When the ship is going to sink, I don’t know. I hope it would never sink.