Lessons From My Wildest Dreams, Literally

After a day like that I welcomed the darkness. My dad and I never got along but this argument was the worst. He wasn't a very nice man when I was growing up. I'll admit that he'd gotten better in his older age, but better isn't good enough to make up for all of the pain and heartache my mom and I endured. He called that day and told me that he was sick... very sick. I should have felt sympathy and maybe even sadness, but I didn't. A simple "oh" was the only thing I could muster. Boy, was he was mad. He cursed, I cursed, he name called and so did I. When I couldn't take it anymore I hung up. I couldn't identify the emotions flowing through my mind and body but something about the darkness seemed to hide them. I surrendered to the dark and it didn't take long before I drifted off to sleep.

I woke up suddenly. I was sure my eyes were open but I couldn't see a thing.

"Welcome"

The voice was patronizingly cheerful. I responded with only faster and heavier breaths.

"Oh, sorry"

A large torch flickered to life. The hand that held it was barely large enough to wrap around the handle. He was the oddest human looking sight I'd ever seen. He had unusually small eyes and and equally tiny nose but an extra large, perpetually smiling mouth. Standing about 6 feet tall, it seemed as though he weighed only 100 pounds soak and wet. He wore tan shorts and a matching button up shirt with a neatly knotted green scarf tucked under the collar. A circular patch with a picture of a tent and "Camp Jubilant" was sewed neatly on his chest. A green bucket hat and hiking boots completed the get up. His posture was fixed in a slight forward bend under the weight of a large blue nap sac.

"There we go. Again, welcome, I will be your guide"

"Where am I?"

"Well, at the moment we are right in the middle."

"The middle of where?"

"Why, nowhere of course!"

His jovial tone while saying something so ridiculous was annoying.

"Seriously. What's going on?"

"Most people land here when they're looking for something. Is there something you're trying to find?"

"Not that I know of."

"They always say that.” He chuckled. “Follow me."

The light moved briskly away and I had no choice but to follow. We were in some sort of cave. Tge walla sparkled with a salt like substance. In the distance, a beam of light appeared and grew as we got closer.

"Ah, the light at the end of the tunnel. That's the way."

When we reached the light, it took a while for my eyes to adjust. The colors were overwhelming. The air swirled with pinks, purples and blues. The sun shined a brilliant gold and everything under it seemed to glow. It was almost unbearable.

"Here, wear these. You'll get used to it." The guide handed me a pair of sunglasses. Even through the tinted lenses the color was intense.

"Welcome to nowhere. We are no longer in the middle. I'm sure you'll find whatever you lost. We just have to look for it."

"I haven't lost anything."

"Of course you have. Come, come."

The guide took off again, his back pack bouncing along with each long stride. I tried my best to keep up as he led me over a field of high grass.

"Wow, this grass is so green." I didn't realize I'd said it out loud.

"Oh, just wait until you see the other side."

We stopped at a winding creek.

"I bet you’re thirsty. Take a drink."

"From here?"

"Of course. Try it, I guarantee you'll like it."

I scooped some of the flowing water into my hand and brought it to my mouth. It was the most pure water I'd ever tasted. I savored it for a moment until screaming in the distance interrupted. Further up the creek, two men yelled "help!" from a small boat. They didn't actually seem to be in danger but they were clearly distraught.

"Oh, don't mind them. They've been there for as long as I can remember. No paddle."

My cheerful guide sat down in the lush grass. I followed suit.

"So, let's think about this. What would you say is important to you? Only important things are worth finding."

"Well, my family is the first thing that comes to mind."

"Has anyone died lately?" Even that came across with a joyful tone.

"Uh, no"

"Well that's not it then. Let's keep walking. In fact, let's jog. You know, for the sake of your memory."

I wasn't quite in a jogging mood but I had little other choice. The last thing I wanted was to get lost in this place. He was much faster than me and clearly in better shape. He glanced back every once in a while and, as we approached what looked like a food truck, he had mercy and took a break.

"Hungry?"

"Sure" I said between heaving breaths.

He walked up to the man in the truck.

"How many?" The man asked

"Give me a dozen please."

"My pleasure. That will be a dime"

My guide paid and the man handed him a small cardboard box. He walked over to me and pointed to the gravel beneath our feet.

"Sit." I'd never heard anyone demand something with such glee.

"Right here?"

"Why not? People rarely travel this road."

I sat and my body was grateful for the rest. He put the box on the ground and opened in. Twelve shiny bullets were scattered about inside. The confusion must have been written on my face.

"It's ok. Pick one up. Bite it."

My expression didn't change.

"Trust me."

I picked up one of the bullets and was surprised by it's warmth. I brought it near my mouth and examined it.

"Go ahead", the guide encouraged.

I took a bite. It was hard as expected but satisfyingly so. It gave just enough between my teeth to release a sweet jelly like substance that was like nothing I'd ever tasted before.

"This is delicious." I already had a second in my hand.

"I told you". The guide was amused. "Eat up, we've got more exploring to do."

Before I knew it I'd eaten 6 more of the tiny morsels. I was embarrassed the I hadn't left him more but he didn't seem to mind. When they were all devoured, the guide got up and jogged of. A simple "C'mon" was the only warning.

We crossed into a space filled with fluffy white clouds. Below each was a golden elevator with a number on the door. The guide read each number aloud as we walked by.

"7... 8...9... No, not that one of course... 10... 11... 12. Ah yes, this is it."

He pushed a button and the doors slid open. We walked into the tiny space which was lined with reflective gold. I took a look at myself and my reflection was just as confused as I felt. We reached the top and the doors opened again. The guide stepped out onto the cloud and beckoned me to follow. Hesitantly, I put one foot out and tapped it on the white fluff. I put weight on my foot and it held me so I allowed the other to follow. Up here was much less colorful. I removed the glasses and took in the contrast. A dense fog covered the path ahead. We'd gone from being wrapped in color to blanketed in shades of gray. Shadows of small cottages lined the path. The guide moved forward intently and stopped in front of one of the houses.

"This is it."

I wasn't sure how he knew because they all looked the same. He swung his backpack off of his shoulder and onto the ground. He unfastened the latches and I startled as a something scurried out of the open flap. It was hard to make out through the fog.

"Jax, get back here." The guide chased after the creature and returned with a striped tabby cat tucked in his arm.

"He hates it in there."

I'd come to expect anything at this point sonthere was no reason to ask why he was carrying a cat in his bag. He fished out a key and guided the cat back into the open flap. He unlocked the door and I followed as he stepped inside.

"Go ahead, close it."

As soon as I closed the door another opened in front of us. We went through a series of halls, closing the entry door to open the exit. After about five of these, the door opened to a large foyer. It was much larger than seemed possible for such a tiny house. The inside was just as drab as the outside. The guide looked around and sighed as if hit with some sort of nostalgia.

"We always end up here."

We walked past a large staircase and into an expansive kitchen. He pulled out a chair and signaled me to sit. He sat across from me and studied his peculiar face. His extra large mouth never stopped smiling and, although strange, his happiness was welcome amongst the dreariness.

"Now think. What could we be looking for?"

"I never said that I was looking for anything."

"They never do. That's what the journey is for."

I looked around the kitchen for inspiration. Nothing resonated but I did find it odd that there was no sink.

"Where's the sink?"

"Never needed one. But that's not important. What are you missing?"

"I did lose my wallet recently,"

"No, something more precious."

I had no idea.

"Come with me."

The guide pushed his chair back and moved toward a large area that looked like a living room, then into a small bedroom. He walked over to a door with a golden handle, the only color in the room.

"Open it."

I reached my hand out and grabbed the handle. I gasped at the sight and sound of bones clanking together as the door creaked open. Skeletons in the closet.

"What is this! Why'd you bring me here?"

"Sometimes it brings up memories."

It did actually. My dad was a physician and I loved messing around with the skeleton that hung in his office. I assume I smiled.

"Ah, there we go. What is it?"

"Oh...nothing".

I fixed my face and quickly evicted the memory from my mind. The guide's grin grew even larger as though he was on to my thoughts.

"Come on."

We went back through the living room, the foyer and the hall of doors. Down the foggy path, a crystal clear river flowed until it ended in a waterfall. A boat floated our way from upstream.

"Hurry before we miss it!"

The guide grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the edge of the river. I didn't have time to express my trepidation before I found myself cascading down a diamond-like waterfall in a big grey boat. We rushed toward a rainbow and splashed through. The colors reemerged requiring me to don my glasses again. The rushing river slowed and we floated to a stop. We climbed off the boat onto a path of multicolored rocks. There was a wooden fence ahead.

I expected him to open it but instead he climbed to the top and sat. Of course, I followed. Below was the most colorful graveyard I'd ever seen. Sparkling tomb stones sat neatly in rows. The grass was even greener than what I'd seen before.

"Most people find what they're looking for here." He hopped down and scanned the tombstones as we walked. I stopped before he did. I read the engraving at least 3 times to make sure I wasn't seeing things. My dad's name stared back at me neatly etched into a gravestone. In front of it was a mound of dirt. The guide studied my face.

"Ah ha."

He opened his bag and Jax came darting out. He went straight to the dirt mound and started digging. The screech of his claws in metal signaled him to stop.

"Go on, look."

I unfroze and walked toward the, now open, grave. I stopped before reaching the edge, too afraid of what I'd find.

"It's ok. Some blessings come in disguise."

I took a few steps and looked into the hole. A shining hatchet laid neatly at the bottom. I reached in and picked it up. The world around me became hazy.and started to disappear. This time when I opened my eyes the surroundings were more familiar. I sat up in bed, grabbed my phone and dialed.

"Hey, Dad...."