Love and AI

AI and LOVE

Andrea rolled over in bed as the phone rang. She tried to pick it up but before she knew it there was an odd voice saying, “Hi honey just wanted to let you know I’ll probably be working through the night. I didn’t want to wake you, see you in the morning.

After the message finished it was followed by; Hello this is Homer your personal AI messenger  The time is 12:05a.m. Sleep well. Andrea rolled over on her bed annoyed and fell asleep.

The next morning her husband Jeffrey left work ,deciding to stop at his mother’s. Jeffrey went directly into the kitchen he knew he would find her there she was always awake early. “Hey Mom is the coffee on I’ve been working all night?” 

“Of course,p our me a cup while you’re at it.” His mother replied.

“I’ve been up all night in the lab working on some really neat AI stuff.” He said.

“Oh yes I’ve already heard all about it from Andrea.”

She said.

“Andrea, why the heck did she call you? Jeff asked suspiciously.

“Well, it seems someone named Homer left a message on her voice mail.” His mother answered back sarcastically.

“Great, it worked,” Jeffrey shouted. That’s what I’ve been working on all night. I’m devising a system which will automatically read my thoughts and then execute them either by phone or computer that way I wont be disturbed from what I’m working on. Eventually I hope to train my own robot to do similar tasks.”

“This all seems a little too “out there” for me.” His mother said. I might add I think it’s also a little “out there” to Andrea also.”

“What are you talking about?” Jeffrey said .

“Look Jeff you’re my son I’m behind you all the way. Let’s face it though your marital fidelity doesn’t have the best track record. I have always covered up for you because you’re my son, but it is just not right. Now you’re trying to come up with a way that shows you’re working instead of what we know you are really doing.”

“I can’t believe what I’m hearing. You my own mother. Here I am on the cusp of a tremendous break threw in AI, which by the way will probably make me millions, and you’re accusing me of screwing around.”

“Look Jeff it wouldn’t be the first time you screwed around as you put it.” Barbara unplugged the coffee pot and said, “You better get home to your wife. I’m not so sure she’s going to buy your million dollar scheme.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence. I’m sure I can explain this to her. Anyway thanks for the coffee.”

Barbara looked at her son and shook her head. Like father like son was all she could think.

Jeff got into his car and starting calculating his next move. He really was at work and he was on the verge of something big, he just felt it. He had to make Andrea understand.

He parked his car and made quietly to the back door. He hoped Andrea was still sleeping. Instead he saw her sitting at the dining room table fully dressed with a suitcase next to the door.

“What’s going on Andrea?” he said.

“What’s going on? That’s rich Jeff but not very original. What’s going on is I wait up until midnight than my phone rings and goes directly to voicemail, doesn’t even give me a chance to pick up. I then get some weird AI robot who tells me not to wait up, that you’re working late. Don’t you think I’d find that a little disconcerting? “

“Andrea, you have to understand all of this is a test to see if this program really works and it does.”

“Well perhaps you could have a follow-up message from Homer saying this is only a test. Or maybe have your secretary Louise, who by the way usually calls me when you’re involved in a project in the lab, to tell me you can’t make phone calls. Of course, maybe Louise was in the secret lab also .”

“I know where this is going, just because I slipped up a couple of times, you’re going to hold it up to me forever. Honey we’re about to become millionaires. Homer is going to make us rich rich rich,”

“You don’t get it Jeff. Do you really think so little of human contact, or conversation or intimacy. I guess so as you think nothing is wrong with what happened last night. Well guess what, I m pissed. I prefer my husband to Homer although the more we talk the better Homer is looking. I think we need a break from each other. I’m going home to mother to think about all this, at that Andrea picked up her bag , slammed the door and left.

Jeff sat down and stared at the chair Andrea had been sitting in. He was a scientist. He looked at problems differently than those touchy feely types. Emotions basically got you in trouble simply because they were so well so unpredicatable. They had no beginning or end they were just shapes that kept changing in a big mish mash. Why couldn’t Andrea see it. Yes he had a couple of dalliances, but they were just that, hormones gone a little out of control.

Jeff wanted Andrea to see he was thinking of her when he created Homer. He wanted to be more attentive to her needs, like her needing her sleep and having Homer give her a message when he could not because of his work. He saw a future where Homer could explain away many of the things that Jeff was not able to express to Andrea. He didn’t know if love was included in that list. He didn’t think so but he sure planned to try.

Jeff didn’t go to work that day. He sat in the same chair all day with his computer and notebooks full of “thoughts”. He first started with the idea of measuring love, just to give it a shape. How big was it or was it infinite? He wondered if there was a weight to it and if so could one human carry it or did you need a machine to lift it and carry it around. Yes dimensions were important. He asked Homer but Homer was at a loss. Color was not important because Homer was primarily vocal and he had no idea what to do with colors

Jeff spent another sleepless night but unlike the night before he could not come up with any way to express love.

On day three he still had not gone to work. He received a text from Andrea. The text read:

I got another message from Homer on my cell phone he repeated his message of three days ago about how you were working. I slammed the phone down and told him to go f.---himself.

 I’m coming home. Love Andrea.