Merlion Dreams

31st of April

Today is April 31. I still can’t believe it! They really changed the dates. But if you think about it, it makes so much sense. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime event! I asked Nainai, if she’s excited to witness this change. She only nodded. I think I saw tears in her eyes.

Never mind! I know it’s important. I know the government is going to bring further great ideas forward. Just like Pa, I’m going to help build a better future.

4th of May

I’ve packed everything and we’re ready to leave. Everyone except for Nainai. She doesn’t want to abandon the shelter. I’ve talked to her. I’ve told her that the new housing in Yio Chu Kang will be more convenient. The government took care of everything. It’s a newly developed area. And I won’t have to travel 2 hours to school. There’ll be a Primary School, a Middle School and even a Junior College. Zhang Min is excited as well. I wish I could have such a cute uniform for my first day of school.

16th of May

We’re all settled in now. Today was Zhang Min’s first day of school. Nainai cried. She didn’t stop. She only calmed down after Mom fed her part of a Zongzi. It was difficult for her to swallow. But she looked happy after the leaves were all empty. I wanted to try it too, but we could only buy two. It’s more auspicious for Zhang Min to eat the other one.

21st of May

The Haze warning is on RED again. So, we’ll have to stay inside. Mom says it’s the volcanoes in Indonesia. The air smells like fire, and Zhang Min is coughing. Nainai as well. But she’s always coughing. I asked her, if there was Haze before the Great Impact. She had to think really hard. Not because of the volcanoes. But because of humans. I don’t understand and she didn’t explain it further. Mom says she doesn’t remember.

31st of May

Today I could finally go back to school. The mask is uncomfortable. And my eyes sting anyway. But the warning is on YELLOW. As a Middle School student, I must attend class. Zhang Min could stay at home. He told me Nainai was restless today. She was constantly humming and was trying to leave our flat. But without Mom they’re not allowed to go outside the flat. So, they sat down and played chess. It’s an old board. I asked Nainai to play with me before, but she told me it’s not for girls. I’ll ask Zhang Min later to teach me.

6th of June

My whole body hurts. The last week and the next three weeks we’ll be working on the fields. It’s scary. Some 3rd Years told me that there’s always at least one or two students plummeting to their deaths per year. My hands were shaking. I constantly checked my harness and Teacher Song scolded me. We’ve to get the first harvest done before the Dry Season and Haze start again.

19th of June

Mom is preparing something yummy. I can smell it while sitting next to Nainai. Maybe Pa is coming home soon. It’s been over two years since we last saw him. He’s busy with the government. That’s what Mom always tells Zhang Min. I don’t think Zhang Min remembers Pa. There’s an old photograph of Pa when he was my age. It’s one of Nainai’s treasures from before the Great Impact. Mom tried to draw Pa before. But her hands aren’t used to hold the pen. When Zhang Min and I giggled, she stopped. Maybe, if Pa really comes back, I’ll draw him.

31st of June

The stupid cough won’t go away. Mom gave me some medicine. It’s what she usually gives Nainai. It’s disgusting. But she usually waits for me to drink the whole tonic. Pa will leave today again. Most of the time he was sleeping. His skin is so dark. At first Mom didn’t want to let him in. It was Nainai who opened the door. Words poured out of her mouth and Pa just smiled. I couldn’t understand anything. Zhang Min hasn’t talked to Pa at all. Mom said that’s okay, but Pa looked hurt.

13th of July

My tongue feels sticky. I saw the weird white-yellow fluff on it in the mirror. The headache won’t go away. Knowing why my head hurts doesn’t make it easier. Mom said so. But she’s wrong. Every day I sit in front of the tiny shrine Nainai built. I don’t know where she got the candles from. They look expensive. Mom hasn’t said anything, but I heard her grumble. Nainai and I pray. In the morning – before school. In the evening – before going to bed. We pray for rain. But I know in October we will pray for the rain to pass. I pointed it out to Mom once. She told me to keep this opinion to myself.

But I really hope the rain will start soon. Our old housing in Bukit Timah had a better system. Now, we need to rely on the government water supply. Right now, we’re on ORANGE. Pa said they’re working on fixing the system. I know that Pa can do it.

28th of July

Mom is throwing up a lot. I’m worried. She needs to go to the factory. If she doesn’t, we won’t get the food stamps. Pa’s government job secured our new housing. But it’s Mom who feeds us every day. I try to save my water ration, but Mom says I should give it to Zhang Min instead. I don’t want that. He’s getting everything in school. They’re more generous with the boys anyway. So, I refill Mom’s cup when she doesn’t look.

9th of August

Nainai was in high spirits today. She was humming while we were praying. She grinned from ear to ear. She even tried to dance. I asked Mom but she also didn’t know what was going on. I asked Nainai but she ignored me. Only when Zhang Min asked she stopped humming. Then she opened the box. Her treasure box. I always wanted to see what was inside. Today she showed us. Photos. Nainai in a red and white dress. Pa next to her. Yeye and Shushu. Tiny flags in their hands. Big smiles. In front of the Merlion. On the back I saw the date. “9th of August - National Day 2026” – I remember that year. I learnt it in school. Two days before the Great Impact.