Paths

Jamie and Jackson sat in two cheap plastic yard chairs on the deck of their rental house. The sun was setting and it cast a gentle glow on their faces as they both looked out beyond the neighborhood lost in thought.

“This is really it.”

Jamie sighed longingly looking out at the few campus buildings that peeked over the trees and houses.

Jackson chuckled. “You’re really that shook up about it?”

Jamie quickly looked over, shooting him an almost offended glare. “You’re not?”

“Am I gonna to miss six hours of school, followed up with working a shitty part time job, and then topped off with six hours of homework? Let me think…no, no I am not.”

“You’re the one who chose finance.”

“Yeah-ok, sorry I actually wanted to find a job after college.”

Jamie shook her head and rolled her eyes. “There are jobs in TV, you just have to, I don’t know, want it bad enough. Much more rewarding than whatever you do with credits and debits.”

Jackson furrowed his brow.

“Finance is rewarding…” He stopped himself from going on, catching her already shaking her head.

“What?” Jackson asked, annoyed.

Jamie raised her eyebrow in disbelief. “Jackson come on, you can’t even say it with a straight face.”

Jackson rolled his eyes having heard this lecture a million times before.

“If I would’ve told you when we were in high school that you’d become an accountant you would’ve blown your brains out.”

“I was a fucking weird idiot in high school.”

“No, you were a person with real aspirations and whose doodles looked like Picasso's. Definitely not the guy who’d follow whatever path his mom thought was the safest.”

“Jamie the Wise everybody, she knows better than everyone.”

Jamie just shook her head. “Whatever.”

“Look, I chose my path alright, I did what I wanted to do, and I’m happy about it. Not all of us are insane enough to just run off to L.A. without a plan.”

“I mean is it really that insane? It’s been my dream to move there my whole life. The worst that could happen is it doesn’t work out and I come back home.”

“No, the worst that could happen is you get shot or human trafficked or something.”

“Jesus Jackson…”

“I’m serious, it’s fucking crazy out there.”

Jamie sighed and rolled her eyes. “You just worry too much.”

“No you don’t worry at all.”

“I worry about the things I can control. I’m not gonna sit around here my whole life because I’m too afraid to go outside.”

“Oh, oh I’m so glad you have yourself all figured out. What about the guy walking around with a knife stabbing people for no reason.”

Jamie raised her eyebrows with a smirk.

“What is that look for?”

“Dahmer? Gein? Ring a bell?”

Jamie caught herself chuckling as Jackson rolled his eyes, throwing up his hands in defeat.

“I mean come on Jackson, our whole thing here is cheese and serial killers.”

Jamie turned back out to face the sunset.

“Nowhere is safe Jackson. I guess I’d rather…risk it all knowing I at least tried to live life to the fullest.”

They both sat in silence as Jamie’s words sank in for both of them.

“So do you have anything lined up yet?”

“Nothing particularly interesting, there are quite a few waitressing jobs though so I should be able to find work until something I actually wanna do opens up.”

“And you’re still living in that beautiful apartment?”

Jamie laughed softly at his sarcasm.

“It’s the only thing I can afford right now but it’s only temporary.”

Buzz buzz.

Jamie felt her phone vibrate and took it out of her pocket. She skimmed a message before quickly typing a reply.

“That was Gabby, she’s on her way.”

“I thought Alyssa was taking you to the airport.”

“Yea but in typical fashion she flaked.” Jamie rolled her eyes.

They sat quiet for a moment.

“You never asked me to take you to the airport?”

Jamie tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “I um, well I was afraid you’d make it too difficult to get out of the car.” She said with an awkward laugh as she felt her face get warm.

Jackson furrowed his brow slightly confused at her words but also at the slight pang of tension in his chest which he quickly played off.

“You think I’m gonna miss you that much?”

She laughed and turned back to face the sunset while Jackson’s gaze lingered on her as the rays of sunlight bounced off her skin.

After a few moments he also turned to look at the sunset and they sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments.

“Jackson?”

He only hummed in response as he looked back over at her.

“Why didn’t you ever make a move on me?”

Jackson’s eyes went wide as his cheeks flushed red.

“W-What?”

Jamie just chuckled at him getting all flustered. “We’ve been best friends for eight years and you never tried…anything...”

“And you’re upset about that?”

She shook her head and laughed awkwardly.

“I’m sorry, forget I asked.”

Jackson glanced over at her and saw a tear escape her eye before she quickly wiped it away. His own heart raced finally having the moment but lacking the words to tell her how he felt.

Jackson looked at the ground desperately trying to put together an answer.

Jamie sat still and silent, her heart racing as she pleaded in her head for any sort of response. She was burning up with embarrassment and the fear she had ruined what might be their last moment together.

“Timing...I guess.”

Jamie quickly turned to look at him.

“It always seemed like as soon as one of us were single the other met someone. Or one of us was studying abroad or whatever. It just never lined up.”

“Yeah I guess it didn’t.”

She paused, collecting her thoughts.

“But do you think if things had worked out…or the timing was better…you would’ve..?”

Jackson looked over at her, meeting her gentle gaze he knew all too well.

“Yeah…yeah definitely.” He looked at her with gentle saddened eyes now regretting all the time they had waisted.

Honk! Honk!

“Let’s go, city girl!”

Jamie laughed awkwardly looking at Gabby in her car. “I should probably…”

“...yea for sure.”

Jamie quickly wrapped her arms around him and after a moment he wrapped his arms around her.

“Fly safe, let me know when you land.”

“Thank you, I will.”

Reluctantly she pulled away with a weak smile. She picked up her carry on and walked down the porch steps. She stopped at the bottom to turn and give him one last gentle smile. One that broke his heart but he politely returned. She turned and walked up to the car, getting into the passenger seat. Before she could give him one last wave Gabby sped off. Jackson stood alone watching the car until it was out of view knowing he was too afraid to chase after her.