The Cottonwood Tree

The Cottonwood Tree

He scanned the horizon for any evidence of her, while memories like movie reels flickered in the theater of his mind. Recollections pounded in his brain. Once buried, he now recalled how his heart would skip a beat every time he caught a glimpse of her cresting the hill, counting the seconds until he would pull her close and feel her warm body against his chest. Whether wearing her yellow gingham sundress or a tank top and overalls, it never mattered to him; she rocked anything she wore. Leaping into his arms with undaunted certainty, she had no doubt that he would catch her midair. Janey’s zeal for life was contagious, her energy electrifying. She made exploring his new emotions exciting, an adventure.

His arm draped over Janey’s shoulder, he would pull her close as he passed by his high school buddies in a clear statement that she was his girl. “How’d she ever fall for a dope like you?” his buddies would banter, jealousy oozing from their chatter. He, too, was amazed at her interest in him. In private moments, he would shake his head, thanking God for the blessing she was in his life, all the while fearing their relationship would run its course and she would move on without him. And she did leave, but not when and how he had expected.

Derek had abandoned any hope of reconciliation long ago. He now found refuge in numbness, which provided the detachment crucial to navigating the past three years. But today’s reunion broke through the barriers protecting his heart, and Janey’s delay only intensified those feelings.

“Giving her five more minutes!” Derek muttered, showing little concern that no one was there to respond to his ultimatum. Continued glances at his wristwatch only fueled the growing anger within.

Just as the self-imposed countdown ticked its last second, Janey’s petite frame clambered over the rock wall. Once the stalwart delineation between the Thompson’s field and the Nebraska prairie, the aged wall showed the deterioration from sun, rain, and snow, causing some sections to collapse. Still other portions stood resolute as variegated green and white English ivy clung to its sides like old bubble gum dried on the pavement. Pausing momentarily, Janey smiled to herself as she recalled the amusement of challenging herself to balance along the top of the waist-high barrier weaving through the valley behind the family farms.

Catching Derek’s glance jolted her to refocus and she pulled the tiny box in close to her side. Janey sauntered toward the lone majestic cottonwood tree standing in the wide-open countryside where they had spent endless hours planning their future. Like clouds, fond recollections floated through her mind of bygone days, momentarily distracting her from today’s purpose. Those were tender moments when they would stroll hand-in-hand to their rendezvous. Cradled in his arms, they would lean against the indomitable timber, their fingertips tracing the heart carved into the bark.

They laughed and planned and talked and kissed. The happy couple would chuckle when relatives warned that getting married young was foolhardy. Her granddaddy would often say, “Love is sweet, lil’ Janey, but life is long – better make sure you are ready for both!” He was always quick to offer her guidance with a lifetime of heartache to support his advice.

On June 10, 2017, she traded her last name for Derek’s, and in her Grandaddy’s backyard, neighbors, friends, and family all danced until dawn, celebrating the happy occasion. Ten months later, John “JoJo” Micah Thompson entered their world. JoJo was an easy baby, and neither minded the diaper changing nor the late-night feedings. As weather allowed, they would grab a blanket, and their newly expanded family would frolic in the meadow down by this old cottonwood. Derek had etched JoJo’s initials inside a tiny heart on the tree. Never tiring, he would retell the story of how he fell in love with JoJo’s mama.

At eighteen months, little JoJo came down with a high fever that lasted well over a week. Derek and Janey bickered over taking him to see the doctor. Janey, a free spirit and full of optimism and in Derek’s opinion, misguided faith, thought it was just a childhood thing that all children go through. “Let nature take its course was obviously the right choice,” she would cajole. “Money is tight, and if they would only wait just one more day, you’d see. He’d get over it. Have faith, my love!”

Whether exasperated at Janey’s stubborn optimism or emboldened by JoJo’s coughing spells, Derek vocalized his concerns over his baby boy’s struggle. He countered her position with assurances he would work overtime to pay any extra medical bills. Ultimately conceding, the pinprick from this drawn-out dispute was buried, left to fester.

JoJo pulled through, but he didn’t spring back like other children his age. An easy target for any virus, JoJo experienced more severe symptoms with lingering recovery times. Often having to quarantine JoJo from friends, their home became an asylum with the hope of skating past this round of illness. A short stint in the local pre-school proved futile. “Too many germs,” Janey insisted, so they withdrew him before Thanksgiving.

Their quarreling continued, becoming the predominant form of communication for discussing most topics. The residue left was division, hurt, and mistrust. Derek buried himself in the family sporting good business, and Janey’s world became cloaked in everything JoJo. Derek’s family was certain that this grandbaby was the only reason they stayed together.

In September 2021, little JoJo contracted pneumonia. Exhausted from their toddler’s ceaseless bouts with struggling health and frightened by the COVID death of Derek’s cousin, Sam, they were in agreement to take JoJo to the hospital. Although that trip was only a matter of a few days after his first symptoms, it was too late. This would be JoJo’s final round of fighting illness. The sorrow and pain of losing this loved child. Grief clung to their hearts like the ivy on that damned rock wall. It suffocated what little care they had left for each other.

Dreading the inevitable, both found ways to contribute to the delay in his burial. But this day had finally come. They agreed without argument that his final resting place would be at this cottonwood tree in the green valley where he was conceived out of pure and joyful love.

With Derek’s hands wrapped around Janey’s, they set the pine box down under the shade of the tree. Derek winced as he gazed down at this little casket, such a trivial vessel for the ashes of their beloved boy. Following a shared prayer and a promise that they would see him again, they released his ashes. JoJo was free from the ailments that had plagued him for so long.

Turning to each other, a river of sorrow staining their cheeks, they tenderly held each other as their leaking hearts spilled out. “I love you,” Janey whispered. Derek nodded, as he sobbed into her shoulder. It felt as though time was generous, seeming to slow down to a crawl for just this moment.

Somber, yet peaceful, they shared a parting hug followed by a deep sigh. Then unhurried but deliberate, they began their departure. Leaving the emptied pine box under the engraved hearts at their cottonwood tree, they headed back to their own independent lives. Detached and alone in fractured love.