Sweet revenge

Drama Fiction Teens & Young Adult

Written in response to: "Write a story where one character needs to betray the other, but isn’t sure if they can." as part of The Great Escape.

The three of us walked down the long stretched out hall-way as I tried to prepare myself for the inevitable to come. It started almost immediately once those idiots saw her barely enter the classroom.


"Vivian you have such a beautiful name!" they would excitedly say and then it would always be followed by, "Can we please be friends? You are so popular."


Her inevitable responses would always end up being, "Aw You have a beautiful name as well" which would quickly be followed up by "Of course we can I'd love that."


I tried my best to make myself not hear any of this during the classes but again, all of this was just inevitable, and no matter what I was able to hear it. The popular girl was of course going to have some fangirls there.


"Vivian, why do you hang out with that girl? nothing is special about her." one of her idiotic fangirls had asked her after the first class. I don't even understand why this girl has fangirls, she's just someone.


I could hear her begin to speak but I didn't want to stick around and see what she was going to tell the girl. Besides, I think I have a feeling about what she was already going to say.


"Oh, I just feel so bad for her and so I'm letting her hang out with me until she finds actual friends. We weren't friends to begin with, I just feel bad."


Though I hadn't been looking where I was going when I walked out into the cafeteria and then proceeded to bump into someone. "Oh gosh, Ivy are you alright?"


Oh great. "Hello, Ash...how's your life been being together with the popular girl?"


Yep, that's right, every popular girl always needs to have a boyfriend with them. Though all of Vivian's stupid fangirls and everyone else didn't seem to really care about Ash, it was just about her.


I again didn't want to stay that long in the cafeteria to see what he would say and I speed-walked out of there. There were still five classes to go to, but I didn't go to them. Not like anyone would notice that I'm missing.


Finally, the bell soon rang, it felt like absolute music in my ears every day. Though it was always a bit loud and I felt almost deaf for a while, though that was good as well, I wouldn't have to hear Vivian's stupid fans.


I ran towards the exit and quickly left Vivian high, and yes that was the actual name of the school. Though it seemed like it was a big present for her and not just the name, this was probably one of the reasons she decided to go here.


It's almost like I could hear her obnoxious voice telling her fan-girls, "Isn't it great everyone? My name was beautiful enough to be the name of something great."


I've wished for a long time that maybe, just maybe one day maybe Zeus could just come down here and get rid of Vivian. He's a greek god and it's Zeus, he could do anything he wants.


Though that was likely to never happen at any point in time, though I wish it would. This isn't a fantasy though, this is just reality.


"Hey, Ivy wait up!"


If it had been Vivian or one of those other people that I've mentioned I would have just kept going, Though I realized it was Ash. He wasn't that bad compared to the others so I decided to stop, at least for him.


"What do you want, Ash? don't you have to be with your girl-friend right about now?"


He seemed to look around the area we were in before lightly chuckling and then speaking, "We have nothing else to really do and Vivian has an old tree-house, would you want to come with us?"


Hm, a treehouse? why would she ever want a tree-house? She could be going on a cruise or something right about now if she wanted to, but she decides to be at a tree-house? Wait...I got a perfect idea.


I must have been in my thoughts for quite a while because Ash was snapping his fingers to get my attention and he seemed a bit impatient. I then simply nodded with a smirk on my face as I walked back to my place.


"Uh...bye! see ya later I guess."


I had a while before I had to go and see the two at her place and the tree-house, so I was left at my house with only my thoughts. They would keep me company, I hope. Wait, do I really wanna try and do this?


I didn't know what to do for the past few hours and the question kept coming up in my mind every so often. The clock on the wall showed me that it was time for me to go.


The clock continued to tick from behind me as I then opened the door and headed for her place, the answer to the question I had been wondering I now knew. Yes. Yes, I will.


"Ivy, You made it!" Two voices which must have been Vivian and Ash say in unison from the backyard. I don't know how they could have seen me since I hadn't even seen them, there were trees covering the whole Tree-house.


While I carefully began to climb up the unsteady ladder I could already imagine in full visuals of what was to come. Vivian was loudly talking on her phone now in which I heard her say, "No they haven't said anything, I'm not sure if ill be in the movie."


"Wait...What?!"


Snap!


In anger, just as I started reaching the top of the tree-house, I end up managing to break off a piece of the old rusted ladder. I swear it would have turned into a million pieces if it hadn't landed in the soft grass, where it only lost a few more pieces.


"You're going to be in a movie?!"


Ash carefully walked over to me as he began to try and lead me to something as he spoke, "She's not in the movie yet, she auditioned and doesn't know. It's not even that big of one either, you shouldn't worry."


He sat me down on a small blue bean-bag that looked like the ocean in a way, though none of us said anything, we just stared. That wasted about five or ten minutes while we tried to think of what to say.


Eventually, Ash awkwardly coughed to get our attention as he then suggested, "Why don't I go and get us some drinks or something? Vivian's mother has some in the kitchen."


"Alright Ashy be back soon!"


I watch him carefully go down the ladder and really slowly as well, almost like a turtle or a sloth in a way. Once he finally got down and back into the kitchen, It was time for me to put my plan into action.


Though it was still a bit awkward as the two of us just stared at each other until I then asked her, "Wait, Vivian, do you maybe see that?" I pointed to the edge of the tree-house.


"Huh?"


"Go check it out!"


Vivian, a bit confused, stared at me until she got off of her stool and got near the edge while trying to find the thing that I mentioned. I quickly got up behind her with a large smirk on my face. This should be enough to get rid of her...


"You know, Vivian...maybe you shouldn't be standing that close to the edge, you could maybe fall" I laugh while I don't have time to see how she reacts, I shove her off the tree-house.


I look down to watch and see what happens, I can see her terrified and confused face look back at me, not knowing what's going on. When she was going to hit the ground though, I looked away not wanting to see it, though I could hear it.

Posted Nov 11, 2020
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71 likes 488 comments

. .
November 15, 2020 21:42

I love the name Vivian it reminds me of valentines day Idk why.
I look down to watch and see what happens, I can see her terrified and confused face look back at me, not knowing what's going on. When she was going to hit the ground though, I looked away not wanting to see it, though I could hear it.

The way this was written was incredibly filled with sooo much talent! The vocab was amazing
-Chrissy

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B. W.
November 15, 2020 21:44

I liked it a lot as well and I was trying to find some kind of unique name for this story and my other ones, that's why I used it ^^ though thanks and I'm really glad that you liked the story, did ya have a favorite part or was it the thing you said?

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. .
November 15, 2020 21:49

My favourite part would probably be when the girls were 'fangirling' Vivian it reminds me of a childhood book I read

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B. W.
November 15, 2020 22:30

is that all?

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. .
November 16, 2020 07:07

Maybe the end too

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B. W.
November 16, 2020 07:14

would you want to see another part or anything like that?

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Felicity Anne
November 13, 2020 17:23

We can use this as a new comment thread because our other one is getting a little long. ;)

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B. W.
November 13, 2020 17:55

well, ya know how i told ya about all my novels?

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Felicity Anne
November 13, 2020 19:12

Yes, I do! I may have to be reminded of your plot, though!

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B. W.
November 13, 2020 19:19

well its a newer im trying to do, ya know 'saving a friend' and 'otherworldly repairs' right?

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Felicity Anne
November 13, 2020 19:21

Yes!

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B. W.
November 13, 2020 19:47

those are in the same universe and all that, so that's why it'll be a novel together with all of the characters

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. .
November 12, 2020 15:45

This is an amazing story, but I think what you need to do is use conjunctions and punctuation correctly. It'll make it less awkward reading through. I really liked the storyline, because it seems as if she doesn't really have a reason to hate Vivian as Vivian didn't do anything to her, but she's still angry. Great characterization, and I loved it.

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B. W.
November 12, 2020 17:29

she does have a few reasons for killing Vivian though besides being a bit jealous that she was popular

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. .
November 12, 2020 19:21

Well then include those. That's the only logical thing to do rather than withhold them.

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B. W.
November 12, 2020 19:34

wait, did you change your name?

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. .
November 12, 2020 19:35

Yes, I did! Can you figure out the puzzle

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B. W.
November 12, 2020 19:36

something about pulling a rabbit out of a hat?

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. .
November 12, 2020 15:49

I really don't like Ivy as a person though, as she didn't really have a reason for killing Vivian other than jealousy.

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Sia S
November 11, 2020 06:21

Ooohhhhh, that ending!!! Superb! No grammar mistakes, the story was flowing, and the end was cool!!

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B. W.
November 11, 2020 06:22

thanks, im glad ya liked it ^^ what did ya think about Ivy?

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Sia S
November 11, 2020 06:23

Her character was also well formed

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B. W.
November 11, 2020 06:24

what do ya think about what she did at the ending? do ya think Vivian maybe deserved that or something?

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Sia S
November 11, 2020 06:25

Yeah, I guess she deserved it

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B. W.
November 11, 2020 06:29

do ya think there should be another part to this or something?

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Orenda .
November 11, 2020 05:28

when i started reading this, i thought it'd be the typical highschool drama, but the ending took me off guard. Pretty good.

"I look down to watch and see what happens, I can see her terrified and confused face look back at me, not knowing what's going on."
-describe Vivian's pain to make it more interesting. You've just said terrifying and confused. If she's hurt, describe her wounds, how she reacts to the situation. Her hands are visibly trembling and she's clasping onto her injured body part or whatever.

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B. W.
November 11, 2020 05:41

I wanted to end it on a cliff-hanger type ending and a surprising one, I couldn't describe how she was hurt and all that because it ends right as she hits the ground, also- Vivian dies at the end, so yeah. The ending took ya off guard, but what did ya maybe fully think of it and what did ya think of Ivy?

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Orenda .
November 11, 2020 05:43

okay then.

even though Viv may be popular, Ivy went too far.

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B. W.
November 11, 2020 05:45

do ya maybe like any of the characters in this or no?

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Orenda .
November 11, 2020 06:18

it's just the first part, so dont feel connected to them.

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B. W.
November 11, 2020 06:19

Uh- i dont think there'll be a second part or anything. I already have a few other series that I have to do and i'd like to keep this as a cliff-hanger ending to the story and just not continue it- maybe there'll eventually be like a prequel though.

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Amaya Reddy
November 11, 2020 04:43

"as I tried to prepare myself for the inevitable to come." you don't have to say to come, you can just say "as I tried to prepare myself for the inevitable"

woahhhh I was NOT expecting that ending. Wow. I love that, that was really really amazing. I loved this story, super well-written, amazing in general. I love the last sentence especially, and how you kinda showed some chemistry between the main character and Ash (idk if that was on purpose of not) which kind of added something else to the story. It makes you care even more about what could happen next. Really really really good job and I know I'm rambling now but seriously. this was amazing.

if you don't mind me asking, how many words was this?

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B. W.
November 11, 2020 04:45

The ending really surprised ya then? I honestly don't know and I dunno how to check, its a bit over 1000 words though, that's all I even know. Though thanks, I'm really glad ya liked the story and all that ^^

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Amaya Reddy
November 11, 2020 04:46

oh yeah it def surprised me, I was expecting something less brutal lmaoo but I loved it! I liked it a lot. <3 good jobbb I'm so proud of you my queen B :)

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B. W.
November 11, 2020 04:47

wait, by "less brutal" what do ya mean? like what did ya think would happen instead of the actual ending?

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Coco Longstaff
January 02, 2021 11:31

Ugh people stop being rude to B.W. please and just appreciate all the hard work she’s been doing. B I love your story and keep writing amazingly!

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B. W.
January 02, 2021 17:10

Awww, thanks ^^

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Coco Longstaff
January 02, 2021 22:45

☺️

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B. W.
January 03, 2021 01:03

Wait, did you see some of the comments or something?

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Coco Longstaff
January 03, 2021 01:04

Yes

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Coco Longstaff
January 03, 2021 01:04

Yes but I’m not worried or anything

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December 25, 2020 12:15

Sweet Revenge -- I immediately thought of the K drama.

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B. W.
December 25, 2020 14:52

Did ya maybe have a favorite part?

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December 05, 2020 17:50

Hello, Luna! It's nice to see you join Reedsy.

P.S. (as Brooke) (Only reply to this part) To be Luna Lovegood, there are a couple of things you have to do. First of all, anything that goes wrong, say that you suspect it's because of Nargles (no one knows what they are). Also, talk about the Quibbler. It is a magazine that you can almost always find Luna carrying with her. It is filled with bits and pieces of different oddities. Finally, Luna always wears a necklace with a turnip charm.

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B. W.
December 05, 2020 18:00

(Alright then, i think i could try to do that stuff, it seems easy ^^ is that everything or is there still some other stuff?)

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December 05, 2020 18:03

(as Brooke) that should be it. If someone asks you a question about Luna and you don't know the answer you can just comment on one of my stories or this conversation and I can tell you. ^^

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B. W.
December 05, 2020 18:06

(alrighty that sounds like a plan ^^ should I start being Luna now and talking to Hermione and the others fully now?)

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December 05, 2020 18:11

(as Brooke) Yes, probably. "Pansy Parkinson" is Megan Sutherland, Cho Chang is Celeste, Ginny Weasley is also Celeste, and I honestly can't remember who the other Ginny Weasley is...

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B. W.
December 05, 2020 18:13

(is there anyone else on here who's a Harry Potter character?)

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December 05, 2020 18:12

I just realized that the other Ginny Weasley is Amaya.

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Kate :)
November 19, 2020 16:40

Hi!

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B. W.
November 19, 2020 18:37

how are ya?

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Kate :)
November 20, 2020 01:10

Fine, do you need any help with your stories?

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B. W.
November 20, 2020 01:53

Kind of

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Kate :)
November 20, 2020 12:57

What's up ?

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B. W.
November 20, 2020 17:20

well, what do ya think about the new prompts?

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November 17, 2020 16:04

Hey, B! Do you want to do an upvote exchange? (100 points)

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B. W.
November 17, 2020 18:11

Maybe we could do 50 or 60 if that's alright? I'm kinda busy with some stuff

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November 17, 2020 18:45

Yeah, that's totally fine!

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B. W.
November 17, 2020 19:50

alright tell me when your done and then ill do you

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November 17, 2020 21:06

okay!

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B. W.
November 17, 2020 22:22

yay ^^

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November 17, 2020 03:06

Hey, B! Are you going to change your name or profile pic sometime??

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B. W.
November 17, 2020 03:25

Huh? why are you asking?

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November 17, 2020 03:33

Just because I was GOING to change mine, but not anymore haha! Also, I was just wondering, what is your profile picture of?? :)

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B. W.
November 17, 2020 03:42

I honestly dont remember what exactly it is or where I found it :/

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November 17, 2020 14:48

Hahaha, me neither, well, i can't tell what it is!

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Itay Frenkel
November 15, 2020 01:44

I liked this story, the pace was quick and it was a fun read. Also, a lot more realistic than what you normally write, and you pulled it off. The begging was a little confusing for me, as I wasn't sure who 'we' were or what was happening, but that got cleared up pretty quickly. I was also a little confused with why Vivian deserved to die, I never really saw her do anything particularly cruel. That being said, this was a really fun read, good job B!

Could you check out my new story 'A Night to Forget?'

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B. W.
November 15, 2020 02:09

well, "We" was supposed to be Ivy, Vivian and Ash walking through the hall and into one of the classrooms, though I think ya just said it cleared up for you. That's the thing, Ivy killed Vivian for her own reasons, she hated that she was popular and some other things that weren't fully stated or some of the stuff she thought about Vivian, Ivy was probably the only one that thought Vivian should die for it. though thank you a lot and I'm glad that ya really liked the story ^^ I wanted to try to just do a regular realistic story and this is probably the only one ill do because I'm gonna stick to fantasy. and sure I don't see why not ^^

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November 11, 2020 20:23

Oooo that ending was NOT what I expected XD (not in a bad way, the ending was beautiful 😉)

I didn't notice any grammer mistakes, so pat on the back!

This was a really nice story, great job!

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B. W.
November 11, 2020 20:49

Thanks, im glad that ya liked the story ^^ what do ya think about Ivy and what she did at the end of the story?

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November 11, 2020 22:19

Tbh Ivy kinda hated Vivian for no reason, and I think Vivian wanted to be her friend, cause why else would she invite Ivy to her treehouse? If you did a part 2, I think maybe you could add more reasons to why Ivy feels so tense around Vivian

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B. W.
November 11, 2020 22:51

Actually, Ivy does have a few reasons for hating Vivian, I could ya if you want?

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November 11, 2020 23:52

I've got some speculating theories, for starters, I think that they used to be close, until Vivian got popular, or maybe it's something more personal, but either way, Part 2 would be really nice, to explain why Ivy did what she did. But it's all up to you 😁

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B. W.
November 11, 2020 23:58

I don't think ill make a part 2 for this and that it'll only be a stand-alone thing. what are some of your other theories?

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Kate :)
November 11, 2020 16:50

Hey! I liked this one a lot. You built up to the ending very well. Is there going to be a second part?

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B. W.
November 11, 2020 16:52

thanks, im glad ya liked it ^^ no i dont think that there will be a part 2 or anything else, its just a stand-alone story. what do ya think about Ivy and what she did at the end?

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Kate :)
November 11, 2020 16:56

I feel bad for Ivy because judging by what she did to Vivian, she has a troubled backstory. It doesn't seem like she thought it through and I think she might regret it later. But it doesn't make me dislike her as a character- it makes me more interested, and want to know more about her.

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B. W.
November 11, 2020 16:57

What do ya think her troubled backstory is or something?

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Kate :)
November 12, 2020 13:04

I don't know... but I don't think it was easy.

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B. W.
November 12, 2020 17:27

do ya think your gonna make a new story soon?

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Laiba M
November 11, 2020 14:40

I'm so glad that you used my idea~ Thank you for giving my thoughts and ideas a shot :) It turned out perfect! I loved it! I'd recommend going over and doing a full edit with the help of Grammarly, though :D
I agree with Amany, the beginning is a bit confusing, but other than that, I absolutely love the story~~

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B. W.
November 11, 2020 16:09

Thank you, im glad that ya liked the story ^^ what did ya think about Ivy in the story though and what she ended up doing in the ending?

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Laiba M
November 11, 2020 16:38

I think her reason for pushing Vivian could've been built up a bit more. Yes, Vivian was more popular, but that should be emphasized. Vivian is more popular, looks better, has rich parents who spoil her, and is loved by everyone. Vivian has everything and Ivy doesn't, yet Vivian constantly complains about things that aren't a big deal. Build that up a bit more :) Otherwise, Ivy pushing her off doesn't make much sense.

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B. W.
November 11, 2020 16:50

anything else?

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Laiba M
November 11, 2020 18:32

Nope :) I'd just recommend doing a full review with Grammarly and then taking some time to edit the parts behind the push. Yes, people hurt/ruin the lives of popular people because they're popular, but they have more of a motive. Maybe the popular people bullied them. Maybe they didn't have as much and had more problems than the popular kids, who always acted like their life was horrible. Add more to her motive :)

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B. W.
November 11, 2020 18:41

I've been using Grammarly for this story and some of the other ones as well though. I don't know what to even put down for the stuff for the push, though I could just tell you all the reasons and stuff that she decided to do it if ya want?

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November 15, 2020 01:14

Oh, my gosh! No, Ivy! I definitely wasn't expecting that. It was so shocking. Congrats on that! Also, the classic dilemma of being jealous of the 'popular girl' was fantastic in your words. You had your own twist on it, like all of your other writing.
I will say that this story needed more description. For example, when Ivy is guessing what Vivian will say, you should add something along the lines of "My fists clenched as I walked away of the ever-popular Vivian. A deep rage bubbled in my stomach." Just more, please.
Other than that, overall this was magnificent!
Keep writing,
Brooke

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B. W.
November 15, 2020 02:06

I'm still terrible at being descriptive like that and the way i'd try to do it, it would probably be bad but ill try to do that ^^ though thanks and I'm really glad that ya liked the story and all that, Ivy has a few other reasons for doing that to Vivian besides her being popular as well even if it wasn't really stated.

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November 15, 2020 02:17

You're not terrible, you just need more practice.
You are welcome.
Well, is there going to be a sequel so we can find out those other reasons?

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B. W.
November 15, 2020 02:35

No not really, i already have a lot of series going on at the moment and I just wanna leave this one alone

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November 15, 2020 02:45

That's okay, too! Then our questions will never be answered and that makes it that much better. :D

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B. W.
November 15, 2020 02:54

You remember the whole adventure with friends thing?

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