Kenzie's Mom

*(Story contains mentions of mental health and child neglect/abandonment)*

"What are you doing here? How did you find me?" Kenzie asked in a whisper threw her teeth, taking two steps back from the door.

"Yes, ask the one who pays your phone bill how I found you." With an eye roll and a flare of her nose, Zola stepped into the three-bedroom house surveying the scene. Nineties R&B played faintly from the backyard where most of the guests were gathered. The aroma of tacos and pizza met her at the door.

"Well it's my birthday. I can have who I want here and you aren't invited."

"Oh, I'm not invited? That's really cute. Where is she?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't play stupid with me Kenzie, where is my mother?" Zola asked. On queue, Sylvia appeared from the right side of the house, a dessert board in her hand and her eyes covered in red party shades.

"Kenz dear, who is it?" she called out, stopping hard when she caught sight of Zola. "Well, well. My lovely daughter made an appearance after all." Sylvia' lips pressed in a thin line as she balanced the food board in her right hand. "Nice to see you still know the address, though I don’t remember placing you on the guest list."

"Did you really think you could keep this a secret? How dare you? I told you not to do this, Sylvia."

"That any way to talk to your mother?"

"I don't have one." Zola snarled, grabbing Kenzie at the wrist. "We're leaving, Mackenzie. Now."

Kenzie yanked her hand back with a hard glare. "No! This is my party, I won’t just leave. You knew about this the whole time? You knew Nana wanted to throw this party for me. How could you keep it from me?"

"We had plans for your sixteenth birthday, you and me. She knew that, and I-"

"And you were being controlling!" Kenzie yelled.

"Let's move this madness into the kitchen, shall we?" Sylvia asked, lightly nudging them both away from the front door. Zola glared her way, shrugging away from Sylvia's touch. Maneuvering through the dining room, she entered the kitchen and turned to face the doorway. Her arms folded in front of her chest with narrowed eyes at the other two ladies.

"You just couldn't leave well enough alone, could you?" Zola asked.

"I don't see the crime in giving the girl the party she asked for."

"This has nothing to do with the party, Mackenzie."

"Yes it does!" Kenzie yelled, stepping between Zola and Sylvia. "You always want to do things your way, you don't care about what I want. If you did you wouldn't have kept me from her in the first place."

"I kept you from her because I know what's good for you, it's not about what you want."

"You literally just proved my point!" Kenzie yelled, hands thrown in the air.

"That's not what I mean, Mackenzie."

Sylvia raised her hand above her head with a brow raise. "If I could say-"

"No, you cannot. This is all your fault. I specifically asked you to stay away from her."

"You are so unbelievable, this is stupid. Just because you don't have a good relationship with Nana doesn't mean I can't have one." Kenzie scoffed, taking steps toward the counter. She faced the others, pushing her body upward to sit on it and grabbed a soda. "Sounds like you're just jealous because she's actually fun."

"Jealousy is nowhere near the situation, and get your behind down from there," Zola said.

"Oh let the girl live, for goodness sake."

"Don't tell me how to handle my daughter."

"Huh. I'm just to be handled now? You ruin everything, I swear. The one day that's supposed to be about me and you can't even let me have that!"

"Mackenzie of course I want you to enjoy your birthday, but both of you went behind my back and lied to me! For hours I didn't know where you were! Maybe scaring the crap out of the woman who raised you your entire life doesn't concern you."

"Maybe it does! One minute you're trying to be my friend and then next you're a paranoid drill sergeant. Nana lets me be myself. She's honest with me, she doesn't keep secrets from me, and she's not fake."

"Oh, you think I'm fake. I keep secrets, do I?" Zola placed both hands on her hips, eyes darting from Sylvia to Kenzie. "How so?"

"Because you act like you're this wanna-be cool mom in front of everybody, like you're this supermom or something. Yet every time I want to do something outside of your so-called standards of what's 'good for me'," she replied making air quotes with her index and middle fingers, "you completely shut it down."

"I do not, Kenzie."

"And the secrets? Like why I can't spend time with my own grandma, or why I can't ask you a single question about my father? You always tell me not to keep anything from you, how lies break trust, blah blah blah." Kenzie says, lazily waving her hand in the air. "You're such a hypocrite. Just accept it, you just want to control my life so that I do everything you want me to do."

"I'm not accepting anything because you don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about."

"Yeah, I do." Kenzie turned to Sylvia, jumping down from the counter. "I want to live with Nana." She pointed her eyes to Zola, crossing her arms over her chest. Both of the older women exchanged looks with each other, Sylvia's eyes widening while Zola's watered. Her neck trembled with a hard swallow with her mouth parted open.

"You don't mean that." Zola whispered.

"I actually do. You kept her from me most of my life for no reason. Do you have any idea how much that hurt her? How much that hurt me?" Kenzie stepped to Sylvia's side, putting an arm around her waist. Sylvia looked away from Zola's eyes toward the ceiling, letting out a slow sigh as her nails lightly dug at the back of her neck. Zola didn't take her eyes away from her mother, tears breaking free from the ducts and slipping down her cheeks. Her mouth widened, but closed again as the back of her hand pushed her tears away.

Kenzie gulped, arms loosening from Sylvia's body as her forehead creased with the frown of her brow. Then she shook her head, clearing her throat and tightening her grip once more.

"This what you wanted from the beginning, isn't it?" Zola asked to Sylvia, though her eyes remained away from either of the ladies in front of her.

"What are you talking about?" Kenzie asked.

"That one was for me, sweetie." Sylvia answered, narrowing her eyes at her daughter. "Kenzie dear, why don't you go back to your party while your mom and I finish this?" She gave the young woman a soft smile and a wink, followed by a nod when Kenzie opened her mouth to protest. With one look to Zola, Kenzie's eyes rolled before she left them and headed back out the back door. Sylvia let out a huff with her eyes closed, her lips tucked in between her teeth. The silence sat in between them, Sylvia taking a step toward Zola but Zola taking a step further back.

"No. This isn't what I wanted."

"You were never a good liar." Zola spoke, her tone low and even but still sharp.

"I tried to get you to understand that I made a mistake, Zola. I made a mistake and I want to fix it, I want to be in her life."

"No you stalked us on Facebook and noticed how happy she was without you and that pissed you off." Zola's body snapped in Sylvia's direction, with more tears falling from her chin.

"That's ridiculous."

"Oh it's not," Zola said as she started to pace back on forth on the tiled floor. "You saw her and hated the fact that she actually turned out better than you ever imagined, so you thought you could swoop in and be 'grandmother of the year' so you can feel better about yourself."

"You are the one who kept me from her. I tried for over a year to be in her life."

"Yes because the other years didn't matter."

"You say that like you wanted me around. Don't stand there and act like you didn't love rubbing in my face that you raised her."

"Says the woman who gave her away!"

"Keep your voice down." Sylvia said through gritted teeth, eyes zoomed into Zola who matched her expression.

"What? You don't want your 'awesome Nana' image blown? You're fine with making me out to be the evil one like I didn't sacrifice my entire life to take care of her because you decided-"

"I was thinking of what was best for everyone!"

"No you wanted to find a scapegoat so you can continue being 'miss free spirit' and you didn't want the evidence of your betrayal."

"I'm not doing this with you. I'm not, not on her day. This isn't about you, it's about Mackenzie."

"Don't act like you care anything about her, because if you did you wouldn't have made her sister raise her!"

"Again I did what was right for everyone and I said keep your voice down." Sylvia snarled, grabbing Zola at the arm. "If you were such an amazing mother she wouldn't be trying to run from-" Sylvia stopped, her attention shifting to the creaking sound that echoed into the kitchen from the dining room. Zola also turned, her jaw falling open with a gasp as Kenzie came further into view.

"Kenzie..." Zola said softly, taking a step forward. Kenzie moved back. Sylvia stared at her, hand covering her mouth.

"You're not my mother?" She asked Zola, eyeing the woman she thought to be her grandmother. Sylvia and Zola glanced at each other, sighing with their shoulders shrinking.

Sylvia reached for Kenzie's hand. "Sweetheart, it's very complicated. Now it not the-"

"No. No, you don't get to do that. Both of you stop lying and keeping things from me, what is going on?" Kenzie snapped, puling her hand free and focusing again on Zola. "You're my sister?"

Zola's eyes watered, blinking to keep the tears at bay as a slow nod confirmed her answer. Sylvia's eyes rolled as she hugged herself around the torso. Kenzie's face also flooded with tears, blankly looking between the two.

"Mackenzie sweetie, I can explain." Sylvia prompted.

"Explain what? You not wanting me? Is that true, you just pushed me off because you didn't want to be a mom?"

"It really isn't that simple, honey."

"Is is that simple! Why would you do that, how could you?" Her pitch raised, body quivering as she stood there. Zola turned away, hands on her hips and lips rolled shut as she slowly walked back and forth.

"With the situation as it was, I thought it was the best decision for all of us."

"For who? What situation? So what, I was just a one-night-stand mistake, is that it?" Instead of waiting for an answer, Mackenzie went over and stood in front of Zola, pausing her pacing.

"All this time, you never told me?"

"I couldn't," Zola said. "I should have, I should have told you the truth but frankly I didn't know how. I knew how much it would hurt you."

"Is that why you never wanted me to know about her?" Kenzie asked, voice cracked and low.

Zola looked to the floor, nodding and sniffling. "I didn't think she deserved to know you."

"And my father?" Kenzie turned to Sylvia, who took in a heavy breath and audibly exhaled.

"Your father was a mistake." Sylvia replied.

"How?"

"That isn't important."

"Like hell it isn't!" Kenzie yelled.

"Watch your tone, young lady."

"Don't try to be my mother now! What about my father?" Kenzie's arms flexed at the sides with her hands in fists. When she saw that Sylvia refused to answer, her body twisted to Zola who stood behind her.

"Tell me. Please, I know you know. Who is he?"

Zola gulped, holding her hands together over her stomach. "Your father was my husband."

"What?" Kenzie's eyelids spread wider, mouth agape. Her head snapped to Sylvia. "Are you kidding me?"

Sylvia refused speak or give either eye contact, opening her refrigerator and grabbing a bottle of water.

"Your father and I got married right after I graduated high school," Zola said, causing Kenzie to turn back around. "We were twenty-two years old when this whole thing happened. I wanted to get a divorce while he wanted to make things work. When we found out about you, I told them both I wanted nothing to do with them."

The young woman gripped at her chest, backing away to sit on a stool at the wrap-around counter. Her hands slid over her face, positioning her elbows on her thighs. Zola grabbed herself a tissue from a box nearby, dabbing it under her eyes.

"So he left too?" Kenzie whispered, moving her hands enough to let her voice be heard but not looking at either of them.

"Yes," Sylvia answered. "He said he wasn't ready to be a dad. He moved back with his family in New Jersey."

"And you forced me on my sister?"

"I was in a terrible place," Sylvia replied, moving to sit before Kenzie on the floor. "I had Zola when I was eighteen years old, still a baby myself. I tried to be the best mother I could, and I barely got through it."

"Now I have to hear your sob story as an excuse?"

"It's not an excuse. I had just gotten a divorce from my second husband, I was struggling to find steady work, and moved around a lot. I didn't have it in me to be the mother you needed me to be. I was depressed, miserable. I wasn't fit, Mackenzie."

"So what did you do? Just leave me on her doorstep?"

"Please believe me when I say I am truly sorry, sweetheart. I was so unwell and it took me so long to finally get myself together."

Mackenzie sat upright on the stool. "Wait, you did? You left me on her doorstep!"

"I...I did. It was awful, I know. Sweetie, I'm so sorry."

"I can't believe this. You really made me believe she just hated you for no reason!" Kenzie's hands raked through her hair as she grumbled to herself. The room fell silent of voices a while, with most of the party guests still outside. Kenzie looked over to the woman she called her mother, who was sitting on another stool with her ankles crossed and her hands laying limp in her lap.

"Guess now I get why you sometimes tried too hard to be my friend."

Zola looked up at her, a hint of a smile in the corner of her mouth. "I wanted you to look up to me. Guess it was harder than I thought, separating myself from who I really am to you from who I was supposed to be."

"And you just...took me in, just like that?"

"Of course I did. But I didn't want to just raise you as a sister. You needed a mother. Everyone needs their mother." Her tone softened, looking in Sylvia's direction but refusing to meet the woman's gaze. Kenzie, too, looked at Sylvia. With the muscles flexing in her jaw she stood, stepping away from the woman sitting at her feet. She walked to Zola, looking down at her.

"I wish you would have told me." Kenzie said.

"I know. I'm sorry." Zola looked down at her hands, taking in and releasing a long breath. Kenzie used her palms to clear and dry her cheeks. Then, she reached her thumb to Zola's and did the same.

"I want to go home, mom."

Zola’s eyes fluttered, her throat thumbing from a swallow. The back of her hand swiped away another tear as she rose to her feet. Wrapping an arm around her daughter’s shoulder, she gave a gentle squeeze before leading her out of the kitchen and to the front door. Sylvia remained on the floor watching them go. Kenzie gave a glance back at Sylvia, eyes scaling the woman from top to bottom before turning away to leave with her mother.