December Dinner

CW: This story includes themes of sexual pressure and emotional manipulation.

“Look, Georgia, I have really loved spending time with you. You are so funny and sweet. Without a doubt, you are the coolest person I’ve met this whole year. But the truth is, I think I need something more.” Moe was staring across the table, and the gentle hum of jazz and conversation was behind him in the dimly lit restaurant.

She gave his hand a quick squeeze across the table, a small, sad smile curling her lips up, and leaned her chin down in a small agreement.

“I completely understand.” She pulled her hand away from his. “First off, thank you for coming to me about this and just being honest. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that. I think you’re right, if there's something else you want, something more right now, it's for the best if we stop seeing each other.”

“Oh, Georgia, wait, I’m sorry that sounded bad, didn’t it? That’s not what I meant. It’s not that I want to stop seeing you, really, but things need to change, I mean, just a shake-up, and a level-up for us, you know?” He leaned closer to her over the table, jostling the empty place mat and cutlery. “We’ve been going out for a couple of months now, and I really like you. I just need a little, a little more attention.” With every word, Georgia seems to shrink down, her shoulders sloping down, and her eyes lowering unfocused to the flickering candle in the center of the table.

“Well. Uh, thank you, that really is nice. I want to be able to give you that attention that I think you mean, but I don’t feel I’m there yet. I feel I have a lot more to learn about you and really even myself before I feel ready for that.” She pushed her shoulders back and locked eyes with Moe. “So, really, it’s fine, I’ll be fine. You need to find what you are looking for without feeling tied down or guilty for wanting something totally normal. It’s for the best if we just let things go here.”

“You’re just f-fine? With stopping?” he stuttered, dropping her hand. “I didn't, we don’t have,” he put his palms flat on the table. “I need more, I want us to be able to, to be more intimate, to take the next step. Don’t you want that too?”

“I mean, I don’t really know what I want right now, you know, I don’t have a lot of experience dating, but yes, maybe, I would like to get close with someone, eventually.”

Georgia took a deep breath, settling herself. “I want, no, what you seem to want is beyond what I can do right now. If you're asking me for more, for sex to be available right now, I can’t give that, and really, I can’t even give you a timeline for when I could be ready.

“If sex is what you want, then it really would be the best choice for us to leave things here before anyone gets hurt or frustrated. Or I guess maybe you’re already frustrated, um,” She cleared her throat, “but we've only been out a few times, and I don’t want to be someone who is wasting your time if this is what’s important to you.”

“Well, isn't it important to you, too? Don’t you want to have a real relationship? I like being with you, and you like being with me.” He craned his head around, making sure the server was still too far away to overhear. “This is a normal expected part of dating, just ignoring it and avoiding, no, refusing to talk about it is not healthy.”

“Yes, I have enjoyed going out with you, but that doesn't mean I am suddenly ready to sleep with you. And sex doesn’t automatically make a something relationship into a something ‘real’ relationship. What does that even mean to you? That I would suddenly be your girlfriend, your wife, or some other weirdly possessive thing? I don’t even think you would want that. You just want a physical relationship.”

Moe opened his mouth, his voice starting up his throat, but Georgia kept on. “And honestly, really, that’s okay. It is, it’s good to know what you want and ask for it. You did that, kind of. You might have just tried to dump me in an attempt to get me to offer you sex to stay, but” she trailed off, shook her head, and refocused. “You told me what you need, a valid need. I am letting you know I cannot match or help you with that need, therefore we as romantic or intimate partners are not compatible.”

“Fuc-you know what fine. You’re right, this waste of time can be done, and you can go back to spending your nights doing what... oh yeah, that's right, nothing. You didn’t date anyone before I asked you out, and I really should have taken that for the sign that it was and left you alone, because that how you prefer to be, isn’t it?” Moe pushed himself back, his chair skidding a few inches back on the dark floors.

“You know what, yes. I’d rather spend my time alone, comfortable with myself, than have someone push my boundaries and make me feel bad about myself because I can’t force myself to be attracted to someone I barely know.” Following Moe’s lead, she pushed her chair back with a clatter. “And this was the conversion, you know? I’m not avoiding or refusing to talk about it; I’m establishing how I feel after you brought it up. Just because it's not the answer you wanted doesn't mean it's not a valid answer.”

Georgia grabbed her purse hanging on the back of her chair and started to rise. Her hands shook slightly as she pulled some cash from her wallet. “Thank you for being honest and telling me what you needed. Now you have to accept my response. This was nice, now it’s done. I hope you find someone who can give you exactly what you need.”