Two Swans in Troubled Seas

The church bells rang out like gentle heartbeats as my mother fixed the veil on my head proper, tears dampening the corners of her warm hazel eyes as she smiled at me with a sigh and soon hurried off to join the other guests within the chapel, family and friends of both sides, unity at last in a holy sanctuary, even if only for now, even if the world may never understand it, not really.

Bird song all around like God’s colorful and dull angels of earth knew of the significant occasion at hand too, my father’s arm linked with mine as the chapel’s doors finally opened, led down the aisle by the caring arm as bird song faded to organ song, the chapel’s doors closed behind us both and soft murmurs filled the room as I was led to my groom.

I was afraid, no, I was nervous, no, excited, joyous, all at once, these feelings felt like they bled down my mantilla veil like a white aurora borealis as it cascaded behind me, soon my groom’s eyes met my own, his eyes of blue, troubled seas I’d like to get lost in if it meant all of this was really meant to be, and lost I got in those troubled seas as his hands soon held my own before the pastor, pale met tan, and the seas seemed to calm, in that sweet moment at least

Approved or not, whether someone was sad or mad, jealous or glad.

There we stood, vows, I do’s and a kiss as soft as feathers on skin shared before the stained glass, the sun’s light pouring in like waterfalls of many colors, the applause of the guests filled the room, fear and worry melted away like ice under the warm sun in that moment, like winter fading to spring, like when the sun and moon eclipse, when you just know they fit, they are meant to be.

The ring on my finger glistened under the colorful light like crystal among watercolor, like morning glories in the dew of the earliest hours, when the sun is barely peaking out of the horizon, the heavenly body barely waking up, simply stretching awake, rays casting beams onto the morning bloom.

I was led away into the celebrations by the tides of the troubled sea, a grin brighter than a dying star on his lips, on my own as well as I followed after like an albatross navigating gliding over foamy waters, joy like the one felt when coming home blossomed in me like the bud of a lotus on calm waters meeting the cool air for the first time, and my heart opened like that bud as well, opening up to something elusive but eternal, at least that is how it felt to me, you see. You see.

Being led into a dance, suppose it was more like witnessing two swans come together in the blue hour, forming an eternal shape, bills touching amidst mist like an ethereal kiss a symbol of life together until life wasn’t there to witness this either, a beautiful thing it’ll always be to me.

Like watching kittens play with yarn, or a calf take its first steps within a barn, an otter not letting its cherished one drift off into sea, how life itself came to be. It is all beautiful to me. What we share is beautiful to me. Beautiful things.

Despite all the hardships that have occurred, mistakes forgiven, mistakes forgotten. All the despair, was I truly simply hopeless and naive? Simply puppet and puppeteer? Should I feel foolish for saying it all means so much to me? For I can feel it in my heart, right here, as if I could reach for it, hold it up for the hawk to see, so close yet so far, for I cannot, I cannot hold it, nor touch it, nor can the hawk see it, that joy hand in hand with fear, that worry hand in hand with peace, contentment hand in hand with rage, suppose I cannot die now, no, not today, now I wouldn’t like to, for I’m content to be lost in these troubled seas of blues and grey, do cranes dancing among the reeds, today, the songbirds sing, they sing like they’re performing just for him and just for me, perhaps, and my foolish poetry.

Whether I call it madness. Whether I simply say it’s me. But I am not foolish to believe, no one is foolish to believe someone in this dreadful society would cherish them as much as a shark cherishes what's left of the seas, or the elephants cherish water when it rains and when you cherish never breaking the chain.

That feeling you get when you know you’ve found you’re missing piece, when old betrayals seems so distant, so minor, when you see the blooming of the first flowers of spring, or perhaps when you dance barefoot in the rain, where the green trees, grass and forest seem to glow more than usual under the clouds’ tears.

Only now… that feeling can be shared, it makes me delighted, it makes me scared.

But I know it shall be okay, for the Lord said so, I know.

Now, I have my miss piece. For it is now that the seas may rest, the albatross may land, the kitten may nap, and him and I may walk away hand in hand. Loneliness and sorrow can die together, but I know things like this do often work just like the weather, maybe the sun will shine, maybe it will be gloomy, maybe hot and cool air may collide and things are tossed to the side, but we'll make it through, just us two, I know it now, more than I ever have before...

That we are two lost swans at peace in troubled seas, we have us, let the beast lay itself to rest, now it's only you and me, there is peace.