DOC

Hey y'all my name is Doc. I am my mom's beloved Terrier. Haha, my mom just found out from my DNA that I have 18% Mastiff in me. My mom is some interesting woman. She walked around asking people what they think my breed is. For shock value she let them afterword know that I have Mastiff in me.

When I say my mom is interesting, I mean INTERESTING. I mean she is fascinating in every way. She reminds me of a loyal dog.

So, my mom named me after a black Jaguar. She took care of that wild cat in the Mojave Desert. When I say black Jaguar, I mean a real black Jaguar. The black Jaguar, a melanistic variant of the spotted Jaguar. He was a powerful and elusive big cat native to the Americas. Doc the Jaguar was known for its striking dark coat and unique hunting abilities.

For the most part people think my mom is a strange woman. She and I hang out when she is not working. My mom never goes out. She is not interested in being surrounded by people. My mom only spends time with me when she is not working.

Sometimes, I hear my mom talking on the phone to her friend Nancy. These women are troopers. Both, my mom and Nancy are single women, and both are super successful. She tells Nancy that I am her Werewolf and that she is a vampire.

Right now, I am sitting in bed on top of the pillows, and I am observing my mom. I never judge anybody. I just observe. That's what I am doing right now. I am thinking and observing my mom so I can tell you all this story. It's odd that she named me after a black Jaguar. I am just a 25-pound, Terrier. Doc the Jaguar was huge, I mean like really strong and big.

When my mom is tired, I can smell it and when she begins to move slowly, I know she is sad. Only when she talks to Nancy, she seems to wag her tail.

Sometimes I see that people give her treats and she keeps saying that she is not interested. Yup, my mom wants no treats for free. At least that is what she keeps saying. I wonder about her secret.

My mom talks to Nancy and is happy. She sees me she gets excited and tells me how much she loves me. She acts like she likes being alone with just me. However, there are those nights when she holds me a little tighter and I know she misses company. Often, she tells me that I am the only living being which matters to her. I believe that.

There is this one thing about her though, that only a dog can understand. That one thing that only I know about my mom. It is quite strange I must say. Well, it is strange and wonderful at the same time, but the world cannot ever know about it.

So, there was this one day when my mom told me that she is hiding her dog body and fur under human clothing. What was so surprising was that she said it without even thinking or pausing. "Yes, I am just like you my beloved puppy chulo," she said and smiled.

Other humans laugh about her saying that she put human clothing over her dog body. They think she is joking but she is not. In the morning when she is getting herself together, I can see it. My mom is slipping into a costume, and she is combing her hair over her ears so the little hairs on the tip of her ears are not visible.

So, people only see my mom as distant and cold. But I see her fury fluffy side. I see her roll up beside me in bed and snuggle side. Sometimes she laughs for no good reason, and she loves to run with me after my ball in the backyard.

Yea, we play ball often and it is our favorite game. My mom brings me treats and puts them into her mouth before giving them to me. Many other humans don't do that with their dogs. Most people would think it's strange that my mom does that. However, I love to smell my mom's breath on the treats she gives me. I love it that she trusts me not to snap at her face. Well, that she is trusting like that is because she is a dog and not a human.

My mom also has a wild animal heart but only I can see it. She speaks doggy language like humans can't do. Yup, my mom sometimes barks at me. I can sense so much about my mom that humans miss. My mom is special and so happy like I do not see that happiness in other humans.

My mom can't stand small talk or crowds. She does not care about things like other people do. My mom enjoys painting, nature, writing, reading and cooking for us both. When my mom paints, I am standing right by her side looking up at her. We both like to go on long walks in parks. Mom likes writing stories with me sitting behind her on her chair.

My mom definitely prefers a quiet routine and the time she spends with me. My mom is extremely selective. I hear her often tell me that she learned to be selective and that she only lives for me. My mom said: "I am content and my life is full." My mom often tells me that she misses nothing and that she only goes to work for me. She also tells me that she is loyal to me like I am loyal to her.

But when she said: "I am enduring to be a human, and I do it only for you," that made me so happy. It made me feel extremely secure. "Human only for me so she can go to work and bring home goodies," I thought.

Then the day came, it was my three-year birthday, when my mom said: "You are three years young today. I decided that I will live as long as you live. That's my present for you. When you leave this earth, I am going with you. Now I want you to hear me. Make sure that you stay healthy and happy and never do anything just for me. Once you leave take me with you. I will be ready. You also must know that my friend Nancy is on my life insurance and all the money goes to her for you. Nancy will keep you safe and happy because she is a woman of her word."

Then she hugged me tightly and held me for a long time. She took my head and looked into my eyes. She kissed my wet nose and said:" There is just no reason to live without you. We are together for all eternity. Our deep unshakable bond is here to stay." My mom and I know that we do not need humans to be around us.

I didn’t understand every word, but I understood the feeling. My mom's words wrapped around me like sunlight. Our bond is unbreakable and our love unshakable.

It is not about time or years or anything humans can measure. Dog love is not based on percentages. Dog love is with body and soul. It's about heartbeat, breath and whole body and soul presence. My mom and I were born knowing that we can love and then we found each other and found out "who to love."

My and mom's love is a place. It is what humans call paradise or garden of Eden. It is not a garden it is the entire world to us. I am mom's world and she is mine. Matter of fact she said: "You are my entire world never forget that."

It's funny that humans talk about Eden like it is a place long lost. Haha, I know so much better. Eden is not a place we look for or we have to find. Eden is a place we feel deep inside of us. It's always with us and its very much existing.

Humans talk about that Eden was perfect. They are so wrong. Eden is not something which has to be perfect. Eden was never lost and has never changed. People just changed their perception of Eden. It has to feel right for humans and all reality the humans just have to plug in and connect.

So, what nobody can understand is that my mom and I live in paradise every breath we take.

Our Love is a place, and we are standing every day in it.