September Sun

I didn’t miss the bus. The bus wasn’t late. I decided to walk instead when the bus stopped by. But I wasn’t going to be late. The bus went by. The sun. The birds. The green leaves in the trees. This is what I need. The next step after this one. The minor sweat and slight of breath. I need this. Walking is a sequence of steps from where I am to where I will go next.

Green was the grass of the park. It was on the other side of the road. Or was I walking through the park instead? I could be if I wanted to. Do I want it? Yes I do! Did I cross the road? Maybe not! Anyway, yes I am here, walking through the park, that is right. Here I am.

There were ducks at the park. Or maybe geese. Very territorial at the park. I was a free spirit passing by. Don’t mind me. But the ducks looked at me like the geese, or ducks look at, me. The ones keeping watch made angry gestures with their beaks. And their tongues. Mind me, just walking by. Free spirit, you know. Geese had beaks and they approached me like the guards at the mall. This is not a mall, this is a park. For free spirits to pass by. They followed me. I paced my steps. They paced theirs. I started running. They started running. I ran faster. They were left behind! I survive! Ducks will never beat me!

Then the park was over and a big building was casting a shadow on my route. Not good to be in the shadows. Maybe I am on the sunny side. Yes, near the cliff. But did I cross the road again? Maybe not good to cross roads. But yeah, near the cliffs I was in fact. The September sun blushed the skies. This is so nice. Between the road and the cliffs. Trees arcing over the route I walk, sun shining past the leaves. Must feel nice.

The funny thing in walking is that one moves forward, and so nice scenes must pass by and be left behind. Traveling man can not live in the past. One must live in now, take the next step and sow the timeline to meet with the future. One must imagine the path. The one that leads to the next scene. The next nice scene without losing my destination. But side quests are allowed. Life should not be road driven by a car. Not like a car. Moving from one place to the next. Life needs a scene. And companions!

I said “Hi!” to a passer by. They greeted me back. I was still walking, but maybe I should not take steps that move me forward. Maybe I should take steps that keep me put. Makes chatting easier if you don’t have to shout from a distance.

“How are you?” I continued with the stranger. They replied in kind. “Nice weather for the ducks, or geese, yes?”. They replied in kind. They looked at my stylish in-place marching. Then I tried something funny and said, “Trollololollolollo!”. They laughed. They looked at my stylish in-place marching and something changed a bit. “Would you like to walk with me?”. They did not reply in kind, instead they said, “Fuck man, hell no! I am not at your level of crazy here! Though I would definitely want to try the dope you in! Besides, I am heading that way man! Hope you will be fine!”.

“Right!” I said, “off we go then!” I farewelled. Sure, it was impolite to try to hijack a walking man from their path. Walking in the wrong direction takes man in the past and no one deserves that. Forward! Next step. Now my steps no longer kept me in-place. It was like releasing the clutch. First walking with small gears and then full speed ahead!

The walk between the industrial and office buildings was boring. No trees, no companions, no animals. Except for a dog! Cute little dog! But I think the dog thought I was a bit too weird and quickly moved on. He had better things to sniff and better people to scratch I guess. Well, you can’t always make new friends! There will always be the next one! You just have to trust the rollercoaster! And never trust the cars driving flat straight boring paths. Home and work, home and work, home and work. Ugh! Bome and York!

The playground had kids playing and parents watching. I could swear there were also ghosts there. The ghost kid was kicking a ball. Her mother was not watching. “Look out!” I shouted. The car ran over the ghost kid’s ball. But the boy kept running after it, as if he couldn’t care less about cars moving past him. Maybe. It just looks wrong when cars pass through ghost boys. Maybe the problem is my perception, maybe the boy is okay and kicking the ball is more fun than cars passing through is less fun. Choices I guess. Maybe in a better place you have that kind of careless freedom.

After the playground there are these colorful buildings. A playground full of kids means there is colorful architecture just down the corner. You know, playgrounds attract colorful architecture, because colorful architecture attracts parents, who have money and young kids. And playgrounds are very attracted to kids. A perfect urban symbiosis. Green leaves and trees.

Then there is a bridge that takes me over the street to the side where my destination is. Or maybe I already was on the correct side of the street. Bridges are okay, but do I really need to cross one? Maybe I didn’t. I’d rather not to. So I didn’t. I guess.

I ran through the last park before my destination. Just in time! I knock at the door. For some reason my key card is not working. I wave to the receptionist. They open the door from the buzzer and leave their post. I walk in. They walk on me. I greet them. They greet me.

“You do remember, sir, you got fired last week? We already gave you a rather generous severance package, didn’t we?”

“Well, yes I do. But where else is man supposed to go?”

“You should take it easy, you have already gone through too much.”

“I need something that feels like a family and I had it here.”

“No you didn’t. You do remember that your wife and boy died in a car accident? That was your real family. We were just people you worked with.”

“I know… but I gave so much to this company that I don’t have enough memories of them! Please take me back in! I need something that feels like a family and something I can remember!”

“Please calm down, sir. We are very sorry.”

“I sacrificed my family time for you and now I don’t have any more access to family time as it was run over by a car! I need my family time back, not generous severance! I need to belong!”

“I can’t help you, sir. It will take time to move on from the past. Live in the moment a bit! The September sun is beautiful outside, I can come watch it with you for a while. The future always has a beautiful horizon for those who want to find a way through the door.”

And so I released the clutch and allowed the small gears to step me through the door. Take me to the places I have never been down. Thank you, it was nice walking with you, hope you had a good time with me. Let’s belong again soon! Right?