In a Mirror Dimly

“Honey, your life is in danger. Don’t you understand?”

Renee listened respectfully to her boyfriend’s concerns over her phone. She just had a different opinion. ”Travis, I do understand, and I’m telling you, God has got this. He is watching over this whole situation.”

“Rumors from our home office are spreading here. I heard your name mentioned. I don’t think they know we are dating.” Travis spoke more quickly and dramatically than usual. “They want that location, and they want that shelter gone. No one here wants to work next to a homeless shelter. And what’s this I hear about some guy there asking you out?” Renee heard him take a deep breath. “I’m sorry. That just came out. I’m just under a lot of stress here. I can’t lose this job. My father…” Another moment of silence. Renee just waited. “I trust you.”

Renee took a breath herself before answering. “It’s okay. I understand. Janine is working with your company to come to a resolution. We can’t just move the shelter like that. The women here depend on it.” Renee smelled garlic and onion. She glanced at the clock. “Yes, someone asked me out, but I said no. I told him I already have a boyfriend. I have to go now. We’re serving lunch soon.” She disconnected before Travis could object.

Renee locked her computer screen and hurried out to join the others. She saw Randy, a fellow worker and the guy who had asked her out, already at the far end of the table serving food. Steam rose from several of the rectangular metal trays arranged down the length of the table. Before she reached the closer end, a hand grabbed and startled her.

“The Lord has plans for you, Miss Renee,” said the plump, Black woman clutching her wrist. “Are you ready?”

“Hi, Bernice. I’m sure the Lord is preparing me for whatever plans he has.” Renee spoke calmly and amiably. Bernice showed up at the shelter about two weeks back and was always friendly, if a little off-kilter. “How are you today? Are you finding work?”

Bernice smiled, peered past Renee with out-of-focus eyes, and replied, “He keeps me busy, he does.” She released her grip and walked toward a group sitting at a table.

Renee sighed and felt somewhat overwhelmed as she took a place at the end of the line to serve. She helped provide water or milk for each person and engaged the people coming through the line with pleasantries and humorous banter. Most of the women appreciated the hot meal and a place to meet up with friends.

In her seven months working at the shelter, Renee got to know all the residents by name, many of the regular non-residents, and a few of the transient women. As the Intake Coordinator, she was learning how to watch the women who showed up and to decide which may need greater support. Their shelter held twenty beds, fourteen in individual rooms, and six in doubles. Currently, they had some vacancies, but when the fall and winter came, those spaces would fill.

“Why don’t I got a room yet?!” One hundred pounds of fury shook in a tiny, addicted White female with dirty, messy blonde hair.

The line was thinning, and the screaming woman broke Renee out of her reverie. “You know the rules, Cindy. You can have meals with us, but you can’t have a room until you take care of some things. We’ve talked about this before.”

Cindy’s eyes puffed, and she jutted out her jaw. “You’ll get yours. You just wait.” She stomped toward a table with her plate of food.

The threats no longer bothered Renee. She had received many during her time at the shelter and had never seen one carried out. She understood their irritation at systems that could not handle all the ills of the world, and they sometimes lashed out at whoever happened to be in their way at the time. As a frontline employee, Renee took her fair share of the brunt of the women’s frustrations.

“Renee, do you have a moment?” Janine, the director of the shelter, called out from her office.

Renee left the line and stepped in. Janine, gray hair in her usual bun, looked up from her computer, took off her glasses, and rubbed her eyes. “Close the door.”

Renee complied and sat down on the other side of Janine’s desk.

“Have you received any calls from XenoFare Technologies? They’re a tech company that wants to expand to Detroit.”

Travis worked for XenoFare. Renee did not think Janine was referring to her call with him this morning. “No, but my boyfriend works for them.”

“Travis?” Janine asked, and when Renee nodded, continued, “I’ve been dealing with them for a couple months now. They’re purchasing the hotel next door and have plans to renovate it and other buildings in the area.” Renee felt Janine peering at her, as if waiting for a reaction. “They don’t want a women’s shelter next door.”

“Travis has mentioned something about that to me.”

Janine sighed and leaned back, gazing up at the ceiling. “Sometimes I wonder if we should just close down.”

Renee instinctively responded. “I don’t think we could do that to the women.”

Janine regarded her again. “I know you’re right. I’m just tired. I’ve been doing this for over a decade now. I know we are making a difference, but sometimes…” She sighed again. “I used to be part of that group. Not XenoFare but another heartless corporation. In production. I managed a team.” She dropped her gaze and whispered, “So close, yet so far.”

Renee had heard about Janine’s past employment at the evil corporation several times. Janine was let go during a reorganization and could not find any other work at the time. She almost became homeless herself. Instead, she took a position at the women’s shelter and improved many of their processes, eventually becoming the director.

“But that’s all in the past now,” continued Janine. “I would have retired by now.” Renee noticed the wetness in Janine’s eyes. “Funny how life never quite goes how you expect.”

Renee considered words of comfort, but Janine was a self-made woman and talk of Jesus tended to turn her off. “You’ve made a difference in this city. You’re still making a difference.”

Janine smiled and leaned forward. “It’s only a matter of time. If anyone happens to reach out to you from XenoFare, let me know, okay?”

Renee agreed, and Janine excused her to return to help with cleaning up after lunch.

Once done, Renee headed out on a walk to a drugstore, which was a few blocks away. The shelter needed some supplies, and the day was sunny and clear. Renee enjoyed her stroll past the shops along the busy streets, feeling the warmth on her bare arms and listening to the sounds of traffic. She was definitely a city girl. Her favorite clothing store was up and over a block, and she stopped in there to wander through the aisles and check out the new fashions. She yearned to show Travis this store once he moved here, assuming everything worked out.

“Where is my wife?”

For the second time that day, Renee had her thoughts interrupted. “I’m sorry, what?”

“My wife. She’s at the shelter where you work. I know it.”

Renee took a good look at the large, White man confronting her. Taller than her by a hand, barrel-chested and slightly thick around the middle, thick arms and legs. He was handsome in a woodsman kind of way with dark hair, beard, and mustache. She did not recognize him.

“I don’t know who you are or what you’re talking about.”

He grabbed her around the upper arm. “Don’t play coy with me. I know you work at that shelter near that old hotel. Marlene’s there, I know it.”

Renee glared daggers at him. “Let go of me.”

The man squeezed once, squinted his eyes, and then released her. “I only want her to give me another chance. Why are you keeping me from her?”

Renee walked away as he continued his harangues and left the store. Back out on the street, she released her breath and hurried to the drugstore, which was another block away. She held her eyes shut tightly, but kept walking, until the sensation of tears passed. With unclouded vision, she reached the drugstore. She took a deep breath and stepped inside.

The walk back and the rest of the afternoon and evening was uneventful. Janine invited the team out for dinner and drinks at the end of the day. Renee declined and stayed late to finish some paperwork and then locked up the workroom before turning the shelter over to the night shift. She lived close enough that she walked to and from work each day.

Bernice approached her as she left the shelter. “Miss Renee, why are you here so late? It’s not safe around here. Do you have protection?”

Renee kept a light tone in her voice. “Hello, Bernice. You don’t have to worry about me. It’ll still be light for a couple more hours. Besides, God is my protection.”

Bernice smiled and nodded. “That’s right, and he’s got plans for you, but you still shouldn’t be out here with no physical protection.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small sprayer. “Here, you take this. I can get more.”

Renee took the sprayer from Bernice and rolled it over in her hand. Mace. “No, Bernice, that’s very kind, but you keep it. I’ll be okay.”

But Bernice only became more insistent and refused to take it back, and so Renee finally accepted it. Bernice calmed then, and Renee noticed her eyes lose focus. Renee thanked her again for the mace, but Bernice merely hummed to herself and wandered down the street.

Once home, she ate a light meal, watched some news, prayed, and then went to bed. Renee was in a deep sleep when her phone woke her. She checked the display. Almost midnight. Randy. Oh, Lord, should she answer?

“Yes?”

“Sorry to bother you.” Randy’s voice quivered. “I’m with Janine, but she’s not in good shape. Too many margaritas. She seemed upset tonight.” Renee heard Janine protesting in the background. “Anyway, could you get down to the shelter? They called Janine, but I answered.” Randy spoke quickly. “I could see on her phone that it was the shelter. I guess Cindy is causing problems.”

“Sure, I’ll get down there as soon as I can.”

Renee dressed quickly and was out the door in under fifteen minutes. It was dark now, and about halfway to the shelter, she realized this might not be the wisest pursuit. She picked up the pace and looked around. One person down a side street, a few blocks away, surely not interested in her. She was grateful now for the mace.

Sure enough, Cindy was screaming and shouting out in front of the shelter, insisting she be given a bed for the night. Renee mentally toyed with bending the rules, but Cindy started threatening all the staff. Eventually, Renee called the police, and that got Cindy’s attention. She cursed them as she scampered away. Renee remained long enough to ensure the staff felt safe and then started the walk back to the apartment.

After a block, Renee felt she was being watched. She put her hand in her purse, felt the mace, and walked more briskly. Just over halfway back, she stepped off a curb, and from behind, someone pushed her into a side street where the lamp post was out. She stumbled but did not fall and immediately spun with the mace out in front of her. She charged toward a cloaked figure, screaming and spraying. She heard a gunshot and then collided with something soft that grunted and fell. Not looking back, Renee continued screaming, returned to the street and ran the rest of the way home. She calmed herself enough to not fumble with her keys, and once she was inside her apartment, she allowed herself to cry.

Renee called the police for the second time that night and gave a report of what had happened. They offered to send someone over, but she declined, explaining she was already back safely at home. She just wanted to get some sleep. The police said they would check out the area but did not sound too promising about finding anyone.

The next morning, Renee slept in a bit but was still able to get to the shelter by 10 AM. While she logged in, her mind went back to the conversation with Travis the day before. He had insisted that her life was in danger, and she had blown off that idea. She could not understand why anyone would want to kill her. Even the thought that Travis’s company was eager to get rid of the shelter did not even make getting rid of her seem reasonable. Getting rid of Janine, maybe, but who would really do that?

Janine arrived even after Renee and did not look good. She wore dark glasses, walked unsteadily and with a limp, and was dressed like she just got out of bed. Renee followed her to her office, shut the door, and took a seat. Renee waited to receive instructions for the day.

“I owe you an apology,” Janine started and shrunk into her chair.

Renee gasped. “It was you.” She squirmed but remained. “Why?”

Janine hung her head. “I suppose I could blame it on the alcohol, but that only explain why then.” She raised her head and took off her glasses. Her eyes were pinkish and swollen. “I am so sorry. Carl was going to pay me a lot of money to close the shelter. Well, not Carl himself, but someone. I don’t have any retirement, so I need that money.”

“Who’s Carl?” asked Renee.

Janine tilted back. “He runs XenoFare Technologies. We were coming to an agreement. I was torn between accepting his offer and helping the women here. You have such a heart for them, and you keep reminding me.” She sighed, and Renee noticed a tear slowly falling down her cheek. “Last night at the restaurant, over drinks, Randy kept talking about you. How you hang on to the past. You can’t move on. You keep us all stuck.” She wiped her face and leaned forward. “I don’t really believe that, but last night, with too many drinks and my mind all confused, it got to me.” She paused, and her eyes softened. “You should call the police. I don’t deserve—-”

“No, I don’t think that will be necessary,” interrupted Renee, who had sat quietly, listening carefully and taking it all in. A plan formed. “I have a different idea.”

Eighteen Months Later

Renee welcomed the guests as they entered the shelter for the evening’s Christmas party. The main room was decorated with red and green streamers, and scents of cinnamon and roasting meat enhanced the festive aura. A spruce tree bedecked with ribbons and flowers and topped with an angel festooned the corner.

Renee noticed a women enter she had not seen in months. She extracted Travis from a conversation and went to give introductions.

“Bernice,” exclaimed Renee, “where have you been? Merry Christmas. This is my fiancé, Travis. The Spirit moved Bernice to give me the mace that saved my life.”

Bernice smiled and ogled the ring Renee wore. “I’ve been here and there.” She grasped Travis’s hand. “Nice to meet you.” Her eyes wandered around the room and stopped on the tree. “I see you have an angel, and she’s Black like me.” Bernice beamed.

Renee smiled, “Yes, someone left that wrapped under the tree last year.”

“I hear you’re the new director.”

“Yes, I will start in that role after the holidays. Janine was ready to move on and taught me everything she knows.”

“And the new tech company next door.”

Travis spoke up. “That’s my company.” Renee leaned against his side. “I mean, I work for them. I’m the manager of this region now. Renee was able to encourage them to make the shelter one of their initiatives to improve the city now that we have a presence here.”

Renee pointed out several of the team Travis led helping with the meal. “It seemed an effective way to negotiate a truce. Turns out God gifted me with rather good skills in negotiating.”

Renee noticed Bernice’s gaze slipping away. She kissed Travis and sent him back to his conversation then helped Bernice with food and finding a seat. After greeting the others at the table, Renee returned to the flow of guests at the shelter that night, marveling at how the Lord’s plans for her, as Bernice had always reminded her, had worked out.

Bernice walked along the sidewalk, enjoying the freshness of the cold and the warmth in her heart from a satisfying meal and time with good friends. “You are good, Lord. You have blessed them and this city.”

Randy approached her from the shadows, as he always did. “You won this time, but we will battle again.”

“And the Lord will be waiting.” Bernice glowed with her true form and filled the air with soft, compelling music.

Randy scowled and vanished in a dank mist.

Bernice smiled while thinking about the angel she had gifted to the shelter once she knew everything would be okay. It was a precious memento of her work there. “Thank you, Lord, for allowing me the time tonight. I’m ready to continue with my next assignment.”